Not sure what to do....

moreofthegoodstuff

Thanks everyone.
I have phoned and said not to worry about it- feel loads better.

Person_one

Write it off.

Washing machines and cars are immediate expenses that need sorting out straightaway, adding an extra few months to the time it takes you to save for a deposit is not as much of an urgent need.

It was kind of her to offer, but circumstances changed, and she isn't in debt to you.

ognum

I can't believe you are even asking this. Your wedding, your dress, how can you make you mum struggle to pay for it.

I am sure the dress was not the only reason you got married when you did!

JUst move on, forget the offer you mum made she clearly can't afford it.

Any

Person_one wrote: »

Write it off.

Washing machines and cars are immediate expenses that need sorting out straightaway, adding an extra few months to the time it takes you to save for a deposit is not as much of an urgent need.

It was kind of her to offer, but circumstances changed, and she isn't in debt to you.

Exactly this!!

McKneff

If you can afford to do so, write it off. She is obviously needing cash right now.

Even if it means putting off buying yur house for a year.

Decide which means most to you and I bet your mums well being comes first every time.

nickyhutch

I can't believe you've taken ANY money from here given her problems. Give her a break.

moreofthegoodstuff

I don't want to sound heartless but I just feel bad on my husband because his family helped us loads and they probably couldn't really afford it either but insisted.

If it was completely down to me I would write it off in a heart beat.

Bitsy_Beans

Under the circumstances your mum isn't maliciously reneging on her agreement to pay for your dress but she sounds like she's had a run of very bad luck. Why not cut her some slack and write it off, if she chooses to continue to pay you back in increments well that's up to her but no way would I keep my mum beholden to such a debt if she was struggling with so many repairs.
Can only imagine how bad she must feel that she couldn't pay for it when she said she would.

ognum

moreofthegoodstuff wrote: »

I don't want to sound heartless but I just feel bad on my husband because his family helped us loads and they probably couldn't really afford it either but insisted.

If it was completely down to me I would write it off in a heart beat.

I cant believe your husband would want you mum to pay you if she can't afford it.

I think this is a lesson learnt for all, don't have what you can't afford to pay for yourself.

Person_one

moreofthegoodstuff wrote: »

I don't want to sound heartless but I just feel bad on my husband because his family helped us loads and they probably couldn't really afford it either but insisted.

If it was completely down to me I would write it off in a heart beat.

Its not a competition, if his family have helped you its out of their own free will and it doesn't oblige your mum to do the same. Not all families are in the same financial situation.

It IS completely down to you, who else would it be down to? It was your dress and its your mum. Please tell me your new husband isn't pushing you to demand money from her?

McKneff

moreofthegoodstuff wrote: »

I don't want to sound heartless but I just feel bad on my husband because his family helped us loads and they probably couldn't really afford it either but insisted.

If it was completely down to me I would write it off in a heart beat.

Forget the in laws, if they couldnt have afforded it they wouldnt have insisted.

Your mum (after your husband, of course) if the priority here.

Tell her yu dont need her to pay the money off, think about how badly she feels about all this. If you make a decision and stick to it, then everybody is sorted and your mum will stop mithering as to how to pay you back.

Do you think your new husband would object to this, if so, perhaps he is not as kind as you thought he was. Just tell him, and then get on with it.
Just let me ask you, if mum hadnt paid for the dress, who would have paid for it, if it was you, then it is completelyup to you.