Obligated to buy gift or not?

CharlieRabbit01

I've been with my partner for nearly 6 years, we are spending Christmas on our own and then visiting his parents for a family Christmas between Christmas day and new years.

Also there on that day will be his auntie, older brother and his brothers girlfriend.

Usually I'll buy a token gift for his parents and Auntie, its hit and miss whether I buy a gift for his brother or just contribute towards the gift my partner is getting.

The question is: Am I obliged to get his brothers girlfriend a gift?

tyllwyd

If you haven't ever bought her a gift before, then whatever you do this year probably sets the pattern for the next few years to come.

I wouldn't feel obliged to buy her a gift (or for you and your partner to buy separate gifts for his brother). I would probably buy gifts which are from you jointly, either one each for them separately, or one thing for them both together (assuming they are living together?).

CharlieRabbit01

The don't live together, and have been a couple since November last year.

His brother can't stand being single at family gatherings so often meets a girl just before.

tbh I'm surprised they are still together.

podperson

I wouldn't say you were obligated to (and I certainly wouldn't buy a separate gift to your OH). If you're thinking that she might feel a bit left out though if she's the only one not receiving a gift then depending on what your OH is getting his brother could you perhaps add a box of choccies or bottle of wine with 'for both on you' on it?

welshone27

If it was me id buy a cheap box of chocs or wine. Saves awkwardness. Home bargains do cheap chocolates.

robpw2

buy one or don't its entirely up to you but there are no set rules

Bella73

I think I would probably go with the chocs route as I wouldn't want his gf to be left out if we had got everyone else gifts to be honest I think would look a little mean and unwelcoming.

Remember the gf probably is worried about being with her bf family for Christmas as it is especially meeting family members on their own territory, which however nice you all are can be quite intimidating at special occasions.

springdreams

She has been with your brother for over a year now, and no longer qualifies as someone he just hooked up with for the festive season, so I'd definitely get her something small.

I'd also go with only getting one gift from your partner and yourself for his brother and each of the other family members. The separate gifts thing implies that you are not a couple somehow, or it does to me anyway.

quinechinoise

Agree with springdreams. Get her a gift (or include her in a "couples" gift). And if your partner is doing the shopping, no need for you to duplicate his efforts.

spam88

It'd be a nice gesture to get her something, just wine or chocolates or something as other people have suggested And I totally agree with everyone about not getting separate presents from yourself and your partner - it's hard enough trying to find one set of presents for my boyfriend's family, never mind two!

SandC

I agree with the others. Chocs are something generic and she will have something to open so she isn't just sitting there while everyone else is opening theirs. Also, it won't set a precedent for gifts in the future. She will 'get' the gesture, I'm sure.