How and why?

[Deleted User]

Thanks for asking lovesale, slightly better, i did sleep a bit more last night but I woke up from a dream where I was trying to seduce a stranger and my husband had started calling me "mate" instead of "love". Bizzarre.

Tomorrow I am seeing a local charity that helps support families going through breakups. I wanted some advice on how best to tell the children on saturday and how to deal with the after math. It won't be easy but I want to do it properly and with the last possible hurt. I didn't want to invite DH to go with me as I knew it would be extremely painful and that I will cry, but having spoken to the charity they said in their opinion its best he comes so we are both on the same page on saturday.

I emailed him and he rang to confirm he is coming. Afterwards I thought he could at least have said thanks for inviting me or thanks for thinking of contacting the charity. I don't know if he had any thoughts in his head of what or how he was going to say it, probably not, he's very last minute and he isn't the best communicator, but I thought it best for us to agree on what is said. Oh well, one of those things, I always did do the organising and thinking/planning of things, so why should this be any different. He could at least have thanked me for doing something he should be considering and sorting out.

I have cried lots again today to be expected I guess but hey, i am hanging in there.

On a positive note, a friend has kindly come round and done some blue jobs for me, so my shower is fixed and i have some security strips along my back fence and a second bolt on the gate. I feel vunerable at night on my own so that will help.

[Deleted User]

I meant to say I need to give the charity a donation towards their time, but I have absolutely no idea what a ball park figure is. I wouldn't want to insult them by offering too little, but can't afford £100 either. (That was a guess).

They said whatever I can afford, but I don't know what is appropriate to offer. Any suggestions or experience of this would be helpful.

Brighton_belle

What a wonderful and caring thing to do for your children Bailey. How about thinking of it as £25 per hour?

Yes, crying will be completely normal and a way of getting it out and coping. Day at a time...day at a time. If necessary, an hour at a time.

Tupperware_Queen

Hiya hun, I was in almost the exact same situation almost 2 years ago. He left suddenly, and although we had been apart for months, I always believed we would reconcile. After a really difficult few months I finally realised that he had been having his cake and eating it, and I was worth more than that.

It was really tough for a while, but I am now with a new fella, who adores me, and we are very happy.

Hang in there, it will get better. oh, and as for donation to charity, I would have said about £20 or so?

loveasale

I would say about £20 to the charity.
I know what u mean about being the one to arrange everything , at least that's something u are used to doing and by that u sound capable of being on your own ( although at the moment I doubt your capable of remembering your own name!!!) a broken heart can turn us into complete idiots, but thankfully it's only temporary !
Take care :A

[Deleted User]

themull1 wrote: »

My husband left me and our children after 14 years, i cried so much that the tears burned my face and i had to wear nappy cream in the house!! that was two years ago, i've got a new partner after swearing that there would never be anyone else in my life. My ex has a new girlfriend and they've bought a house together. I can honestly say that i now have no feelings for my ex, and that him leaving was for the best. I know it doesn't feel like you will ever move on, but i promise you, it does get easier. x

I can so identify with the first part of your post, yesterday my eyes were in a red raw state and i have back ache from tense tight muscles.

I can't imagine ever wanting to be with anyone else, its too hard. I know this is now, but the whole meeting someone new fills me with dread. I hate the whole being on best behaviour, making a good impression thing. I want to be comfortable and relaxed, be able to speak without a head check first, be able to burp or fart/use toilet without embarrassment, know what their preferences for things are, enjoy someone for them not for the impression they think they need to create.

ARGHHH........no no no, way too difficult. I know its day 2 but its still my husband who i want :eek: Other men are scary! Or I might scare them.......

TheMull and Tupperware Queen, I recognise you as respected posters on this board and appreciate what you wrote, I don't know you but I feel like i do in some way as I know your "names". Thank you.

[Deleted User]

loveasale wrote: »

u sound capable of being on your own ( although at the moment I doubt your capable of remembering your own name!!!) a broken heart can turn us into complete idiots, but thankfully it's only temporary !
Take care :A

yes perfectly capable, but at the moment, definitely not safe to be let out alone!!!