How and why?

flutterby_lil

Big hugs sweet, get an hours sleep here and there to revive yourself.

X

Mojisola

Protogenia wrote: »

Can you focus on all the bad things he has said and done...ever?

Try not to see him through rose coloured glasses and thinking about all the good times you had together...you will make yourself feel worse and it really isn't a truthful picture.

This might be a temporary way through the pain but please don't get into this mindset permanently.

You must have had good times with him and the children you made together are half you and half him. It won't be good for them if they pick up from you that there's something bad about their father.

Be kind to yourself and don't expect too much too quickly. Just coping with each day at a time is enough at the moment.

1940sGal

My mum and dad separated last September after 30 years together and Mum has struggled since, while Dad almost instantly got together with someone else.

Mum had been fine until a couple of weeks ago when she got really down and didn't want to do anything, go to work or see anyone. She felt like she couldn't talk to family as they were biased and too involved, if you know what I mean. So she went to the doctors and was booked in for some counselling. She's only been once and he told her he was amazed that she'd gone this long without getting this sort of help before.

I know what some people think of going to counselling and some say you should deal with it yourself but the counsellor is there as someone independent and impartial. I'd recommend it, Mum said she's glad she went and is glad she has someone to talk to who doesn't know the whole history and who's done what etc.

Something to think about anyway. Hope you feel better soon.

lurvlyloz

Big hugs lovely. you will get through it xx

fannyadams

{{{{{bailey}}}}}

You WILL survive.

Baby steps are where it's at.

[Deleted User]

Thank you everyone for your kind replies. I am still in shock despite living separately for 5 months, its now reality. I always hoped and at times thought we might survive, but no.

I am grieving the loss of what I thought I would have, I am used to him not being here but its hard as his stuff is still here and we haven't told the children yet. These will be dealt with at the weekend.

I am seeing a counsellor next week and have the support of family and friends, but I can't help desperately missing my husband, I still find him attractive, still love him and my pain and tears are constant.

I know I will survive but right now so so so hard, everywhere I turn are reminders, memories, conversations, I guess its called grieve.

I am trying to nurture and look after myself in practical ways, but it doesn't fix a broken heart.

sibles

I don't have anything useful to say, just remember you aren't alone. I'm glad to see you are trying to be kind to yourself, make sure you eat and give yourself space to grieve.

All the best, lots of hugs

loveasale

Hi Bailey, just wondering how your feeling today?

arlybarly

Ahh just read and reallynsorry, but it will get better i promise xx

themull1

My husband left me and our children after 14 years, i cried so much that the tears burned my face and i had to wear nappy cream in the house!! that was two years ago, i've got a new partner after swearing that there would never be anyone else in my life. My ex has a new girlfriend and they've bought a house together. I can honestly say that i now have no feelings for my ex, and that him leaving was for the best. I know it doesn't feel like you will ever move on, but i promise you, it does get easier. x