CSA payments demanded even though private arrangement in place

wayne0

I would pay directly via the CSA also. I continued making payments, via my bank, marked as "child maintenance for XXXsons nameXXX" my ex said i hadnt paid anything when i called csa about "arrears figure"...

luckily she had said that i was making a voluntary contribution on her first call to them, so they took the payments off the "debt"... and im paying a fiver on top of my CM payments to clear the debt. (still got about 80 or 90 quid to pay off)

I can understand your plight though OP. its rediculous when child doesnt even have clothes that fit them, yet you struggle to live etc as a result of providing for them...

the CSA were going to put a DOE order on my wage, because i didnt want to set up a Direct Debit .. (i didnt want them to be able to change the amount as they wished etc) in the end one of the managers called my ex, and said that if they went the DOE method, the first payment wouldnt get to her for at least 3 months, and then theres no "reliable date for payment"... she might get a payment one month, then another one two months later ETC, because my employer has a timescale to send the money onto them...

after being explained, she has agreed to maintenance direct, and i got a letter from CSA explaining the payment must be made to XXXXX account, wth a reference to child maintenance. and any payments marked as such would be considered as child maintenance...

amazingly she has already called up saying im not paying, despite it being on my bank statement. etc... - just looking forward to next year when collection fees are payable... lol 7% off her, yet 20% extra off NRP? how is that FAIR?

PreludeForTimeFeelers

Collection charges are still up in the air, as the MPs can't decide what to do.

wayne0

i thought the legislation was already sorted?

labyrinth84

clearingout wrote: »

I made the comment that the tax credit system is 'generous'. I made no comment whatsoever that as to whether or not I consider this 'more than enough to bring a kid up'.

There are plenty of PWC who receive little or nothing at all in tax credit and very soon, a significant number will receive no child benefit either. My own feelings are that even if the PWC is a millonaire in their own right, the NRP still has a responsiblity to make a contribution towards the upbringing of his/her child. Whether tax credits are generous or not has no bearing on this whatsoever.

Was reading through this thread as I was not sure whether previous payments made by me (Non Resident Parents Partner) to Resident Parent would stand if she decided to go for backpay.

I spent 7years as a single working mother, and lived comfortably through the help tax credits gave on top of my wages. My child wanted for nothing, and I was able to work through the generous amount of Childcare element. We had holidays, a car and I had a great social life! Single parents are a great deal better off!!

Now, I live with my partner who has 2 children from a previous relationship and contemplating living separately as my child goes without a great deal now the Tax Credits allocated to help me support her are deducted for his other children. I have given up my car, I do not have the privilege of holidays with my child and have zero spare cash for the luxury of a social life....guess what, unemployed mother of my partners 2 children has it all.

Having the experience of being a single mother I can honestly say single mothers are better off, and its no surprise there are split-ups of families once they get a sniff of this fact.

Maybe if I live on my own with my child, and my help is not deducted I can get back to enjoying my life that I deserve through the hours I work, and Resident Parent may have to get off her bum to support her lavish lady of leisure lifestyle!

clearingout

labyrinth84 wrote: »

Single parents are a great deal better off!!

Having the experience of being a single mother I can honestly say single mothers are better off, and its no surprise there are split-ups of families once they get a sniff of this fact.

Maybe if I live on my own with my child, and my help is not deducted I can get back to enjoying my life that I deserve through the hours I work, and Resident Parent may have to get off her bum to support her lavish lady of leisure lifestyle!

this may be your experience but I am pretty certain that it's not everyone's experience. If I were to move in with someone on an equal salary to mine and assuming he had maintenance to pay for a couple of children and he was reasoanble and fair with his money (ie. he was happy to evenly contribute to our outgoings), there would be more money coming in. Obviously, there would be more money going out and it might be the case that pound for pound, I had less in my pocket but I personally consider that a small price to pay for a quality, supportive relationship. If I were to marry someone of my age who had been in my profession for the last 20 years and had made fair progress there is no doubt whatsoever that I would be far, far better off than I am now.

We make choices. It is easy to say, of course, that not everything is about money but as someone who has surived the last 4 years with small children on a pittance compared with her married life, I know that with determination and a bit of sense, a pittance goes a long way. It would be lovely to live on a pittance with a partner!

labyrinth84

clearingout wrote: »

this may be your experience but I am pretty certain that it's not everyone's experience. If I were to move in with someone on an equal salary to mine and assuming he had maintenance to pay for a couple of children and he was reasoanble and fair with his money (ie. he was happy to evenly contribute to our outgoings), there would be more money coming in. Obviously, there would be more money going out and it might be the case that pound for pound, I had less in my pocket but I personally consider that a small price to pay for a quality, supportive relationship. If I were to marry someone of my age who had been in my profession for the last 20 years and had made fair progress there is no doubt whatsoever that I would be far, far better off than I am now.

We make choices. It is easy to say, of course, that not everything is about money but as someone who has surived the last 4 years with small children on a pittance compared with her married life, I know that with determination and a bit of sense, a pittance goes a long way. It would be lovely to live on a pittance with a partner!

Your last paragraph has a lovely sentiment, and yes when you look at it like that- very true! Hopefully, changes with regards to Universal Credit won't be as disastrous as I fear and we'll still have that pittance to share together

My anger at certain aspects have definitely clouded my thoughts with ''shes got, I've not'' and thats probably the worst way to look at things!

Thanks for that x