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rpc

quantumleap wrote: »

Sorry MSE, I've got to say this...

You've have well and truely messed up with regard these new forums. What a load of utter nonsense these new board titles are!

Now think about it, as a new father (I've got 3 kids so have some history!) who would you ask for advice on nappy prices etc? I certainly wouldn't post it on this board!

Quoting this because it is so right!

Much of the advice dads need can come from mums and some advice for mums is best coming from dads. Shame we aren't allowed to talk any more...

JimmyTheWig

I think I've slightly changed my opinion on this. Only slightly, but changed nonetheless.
Was the problem that the old Parents board was dominated by mums? Did dads feel like they didn't belong? Did dads feel intimidated in joining a group that was mainly full of mums?
[I doubt it, actually, for an online community. Even netmums, despite the name, has a fair few dads on it. But you never know.]
That's often the case with toddler groups. They are dominated by mums (not surprisingly, as mums form the majority of stay-at-home parents) and dads can feel a little daunted. For that reason I think that it is good when childrens centres run dads groups.

But, despite them running dads groups, dads are still welcome to the other groups.
So, in summary, I have no objection - if this is the reason - to a dads sub-board of a parenting board. A dad can then decide whether to ask about the price of nappies in the main parenting board (where they are likely to get more answers) or in the dads section (where they are likely to get fewer answers but might help them to feel part of a community that they wouldn't necessarily feel in a group dominated by mums).

rpc

I think there is an issue with groups IRL ("oh, look at the man. How quaint/wierd.") If I'm out with my kids, there are often comments about me "giving mum a break". F**k off, no I'm not, I'm just out with my kids.

Online, there can be a lot of sexism (women can do no wrong, men can do no right) but I've never seen dads rejected by forums. There are often things where dad's opinions are rather sought after by mums. Keeping everyone together gets a broader view of issues.

TAMBA forums have a general forum and a separate dads forum, but the latter is pretty quiet and plenty of the posts in it are from mums.

JimmyTheWig

That's my experience, too, rpc.
The worst "comment" I had wasn't a comment at all, but a look. It was a look of _pity_! [To be fair, I did have the children (3 of them, all in/on the one buggy) because my wife was in hospital, but the woman who looked sorry for me wouldn't have known that.]

I also agree about what you say about online forums. In real life I would choose to go to a dads group over a general group (though, with my confidence built having been to various dads groups I wuold now be happy to go to a general group) but online I wouldn't have any problems with a general group.
But if other dads do have such a problem then I see no reason _not_ to have a general group and a dads group on here. I'd read both.

Mrs.W_2

jayII wrote: »

Seperate boards is a really silly idea! It's divisive and limits/halves the people who will see and respond to a thread.

The 1950's really are long gone, as is Victoriana! :rotfl:

Even so there are plenty of folk aound here muttering, "We are not amused!"

Samsonite1

Holy thread revival, but I do think the segregation of parents on forums is a bit silly. I found the same with Mumsnet. I registered there because it seemed to cover parenting topics quite well with good responses and I found it useful, however - it seems as though I committed a crime by being a dad - it let me register, but the assumption was that I was a mum (ok the name of the site suggests that), but there were no similar sites for dads.

Gregory33

I think there is an issue with groups IRL ("oh, look at the man. How quaint/wierd.") If I'm out with my kids, there are often comments about me "giving mum a break". F**k off, no I'm not, I'm just out with my kids.

Online, there can be a lot of sexism (women can do no wrong, men can do no right) but I've never seen dads rejected by forums. There are often things where dad's opinions are rather sought after by mums. Keeping everyone together gets a broader view of issues.

TAMBA forums have a general forum and a separate dads forum, but the latter is pretty quiet and plenty of the posts in it are from mums.

Plonter

Hey. This thread should be activated. Lol.

Cisser

My dad was the opposite.