80 year old Dad...a danger on the roads

margaretclare

Gingernutmeg, this was the article:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/femail/article.html?in_article_id=446763&in_page_id=1879

We have a friend who had a stroke on New Year's Day and while in hospital, she had a brain scan which showed that she'd been having mini-strokes unnoticed over a period of time (the kind that lead to ischaemic dementia). She's about 90, I think. She's always been the driver in the marriage - her husband uses a white stick.

We thought that would be the end of her driving, but guess what - she was told she could resume driving as soon as she felt up to it!

I was in our surgery this morning, watched a little old woman with braces on her very thin wrists, pushing her husband into the doctor's room in the surgery wheelchair. She then pushed him out to the car, he got in and, my DH said, she wasn't driving, he was!! As DH frequently says: 'we have to share the roads with these people'.

Margaret

Dan_Thunder

Lots of people in wheelchairs drive though, all it means is that they can't use their legs well.

lynzpower

my grandparents are starting to lose it a bit as well on the roads, mum said that grandad went the wrong way round a roundabout in peak trfaffic last year.

Its not easy, but my mum gawd love her, has taken to using booze as the carrot. Mum barely ever drinks, and says things like come for sunday lunch we thought we could have it in the garden with a nice G&T/ bottle of wine/ cold beer etc" mum drives cos she dosnt drink and ferries them to and fro. Having pi**ed grandparents is a hell of a lot better than having thier mondeo wrapped round a tree

grandma is a better driver, well shes actually OK, shes not good at parking but then again neither am i- its not age that the problem! they tend to now do shopping almost daily, buying bits & bats to get them out of the house, and walk to the village and carry the bits home.

My dad works for a fruit & veg importer gets a lot of stuff free , so he drives round "the heavy stuff" potatoes, fruit & veg, so at least this bit is avoided, or when they come to the house, my dad gives it to them then

Also local authorities do taxicards, where older people can get taxis at a reduced rate- however, usually, you have to have some sort of health need to be able to qualify, but its certainly worth looking into just in case.

anonymousie

Lesley998 wrote: »

Thanks all.

I may have a chat to my own GP about what I should do in the circumstances...I don't know if you can speak to someone elses GP about them because of patient confidentiality etc. I don't even think he has seen his own GP for years, he is a healthy old soul, but his mind is definitely going.

I think if he has another minor scrape, he might have to have a good re think. He was definitely contrite about the car we lent him...I could see he was concerned, although he would not admit he did it, or at least couldnt remember doing it, which is even worse!

I don't think I can just go on worrying and doing nothing.

Your father GP can listen to you but not tell you anythink IYSWIM so it is probably worth telling him- it may tie in with what he already knows, but unless there is a medical reason for him not to drive ther eisn't much he can do.

I would get straight onto the DVLA- you can do this anonymously so he doesn't find it was you and they can review/revoke his license as they feel fit.
You have to do something ((hug))

Slapps

not sure if i'm gonna be any help here but can you not ask him how he would feel if those 3 scrapes he's had had been children? there use to be a game thingy online that tested your reactions so maybe find that and see if he will have ago. then again knowin wot some older peeps are like i'm sure he would blame the pc lol

http://www.bbc.co.uk/science/humanbody/sleep/sheep/reaction_version5.swf

it scared me and i'm only 33 lol

Errata

I wonder if it's an eyesight problem? As people age they're prone to developing cataracts. It could be that he actually can't see very well and doesn't realise. A clue to this would be if he doesn't like driving when it's dark. Might be worth encouraging him to have an eye test.

Nicki

My OH's grandfather was similar, and gave up only when a police officer had a friendly word in his ear, telling him he could either give up voluntarily now, or risk a prosecution in the future if he continued to drive in the way he was doing (it was actually said a lot more nicely than this, but this was the gist!)

My mum is now in a similar situation - regularly drives through red lights, and onto roundabouts without giving way, but as she lives in a rural village with no bus service and no shops to speak of, its hard to persuade her to stop. She also doesn't accept that she is driving dangerously by doing this. I'll be dipping into this thread with interest to see if anyone comes up with a solution which would definitely work for her!

chika

I've been reading this thread with interest. I realise that this will offend some people but if you know anyone at all who is a dangerous driver old or young - you need to take some responsibility and STOP them from being on the road.

I'm a little wound up at the moment after almost being killed by an old person who drove straight through a red light. I had to swerve to avoid them and almost mounted the pavement where several people were standing at a bus stop.

That person should not be on the road and I have done my best to ensure their licence is revoked. Unfortunatly I'm not in the UK at the moment so I don't know what will happen.

Anyway - please don't !!!!!foot around dangerous drivers. Being nice and tactful to such people is just the same as handing someone who has had 8 pints their car keys.