Enhanced Logistics for Insight and Tactical Excellence

pattylabelle

rose28454 wrote: »

Sitting here feeling really down. As you know I care for my Mum and she is quite difficult.

Rose you know you can't go on like this forever - too much pressure on you. You will have to talk to her social worker before you reach breaking point. Px

fuzzgun19

eightieschick88 wrote: »

That's the one that's always been showing for me at £5.50 v £3.66, though the box is actually half the size but double layered if that makes sense?

aau1 wrote: »

You sure?

I was going off the picture. Is it the wrong pic?

wendyak

rose28454 wrote: »

Sitting here feeling really down. As you know I care for my Mum and she is quite difficult. Now she finally agreed a few weeks ago to have some care from an agency as she need help washing and dressing. I dont mind helping her dress but dont really want to wash her ( does that sound mean?). Anyway got the agency started and at the meeting a 10.00a.m. call time was suggested but Mum said 10.30 to 11.00 a.m. It worked ok for the first 2 weeks and they came and showered and dressed her. However if they offered to make a cup of t or brush her hair she just said no my daughter will do it when she comes later. But they were good and suggested she needed cream on her legs ( which we had in the cupboard anyway) and when I read the notes all seemed well.
But after Sunday last week she got herself up and dressed before they came ( and said she had washed - but I know she had not) so basically they care coming for nothing. Now a couple of times they have been late ( due to weather I presume) and she is now moaning and saying she wants to cancel it. When I said that maybe an earlier start was needed she just told me it was non of my business.
I am living on carer's allowance and a bit of money from her and am struggling and for what. Both my sisters and one brother are away either working or on holiday and the other one only bothers with her when he needs money.
I usually go 2 or 3 times a day, do housework, sort her meals, all her paperwork, all the washing, take her to appts etc.
When I told her I was off out shopping she just said " Of course you are!". She is not mobile and we have to use a wheelchair when she goes out and my shopping trips are my escape. Am I being selfish. Dont know what to do and I have no one to talk to. My DD and OH are kind of sick of the whole thing as it seems to be swallowing my life and after I just seemed to get some life of my own when OH left and sorted himself out it seems to be going pearshaped again.

Oh, Rose I do feel for you as I have also been in the same postiion.
It's so hard to keep everyone happy and your mum, unfortunately, will always be the least happy.
You might have to speak to the care agency yourself as they always let the times slide, especially at this time of year.
As for the washing, I found that my mum didn't want me to do the personal care, it took away her dignity.
Try to catch the main carer one day and speak to him/her, they are used to resistance and also you might find later that your mum might make up stories about you, some not nice.....don't take it to heart its all part of their anger at being immobile and unable to do everything themselves.
Most of all make time for yourself, even if it is just a wander round the shops or a soak in the bath, its your right too......chin up at least you are doing your bit.

fairclaire

pattylabelle wrote: »

Unfortunately Pattylabelle is in her late 40's - but I am 21 inside my head. Many a great tune was played on an old fiddle:D

couldn't have put it better myself:rotfl::rotfl:

rose28454

Iamsohappy wrote: »

rose
Can you maybe talk to social services to see if they can help . Maybe they could talk to your mum or the others in the family. Don't feel guilty about taing a little shopping time - you need time for yourself and you have a family to look after as well. Is there anyone, maybe a friend who knows the situation, who you can confide in.

I am going to call the Social Services lady tommorow to ask her advice and to ask to make the time earlier. And Mum can like it or lump it. I will also ask younger brother to come to meeting on Thursday when they are coming to check how things are going. I dont really have anyone I can confide in other than my DD but she is away for a week working aswell and is in a bad place herself at the moment. Thanks

aau1

fuzzgun19 wrote: »

I waws going off the picture. Is it the wrong pic?

I try not to go by the MSM pic as it's not always right. (mostly maybe, but not always)

Anon

tronlegacy wrote: »

G&B with fingers is definately NOT working.Shop done at 9.03 this morning and results just in.:(

Bother! More stuff to take back...!

Anon

rose28454

pattylabelle wrote: »

Rose you know you can't go on like this forever - too much pressure on you. You will have to talk to her social worker before you reach breaking point. Px

Yes I am feeling the pressure a lot. I am not sleeping well and have a stomach disorder that flares up if I am under pressure. Still XMAS on the way and thanks to MSE I have some lovely cheap pressies organised and then off to Lisbon for 4 days in Jan with my 2 sisters to celebrate my youngest sisters bday. Mum is unhappy about that too even though my Aunt will probably come to stay with her.

LaaCaz

Afternoon all

Just left sada. Got my first ever £2 gift card for a wrong sel price! Status 8 way surge protected individually switched socket. Sel was £10, scanned at £12. Bc 5022822167698. lady on cs was lovely.

rose28454

wendyak wrote: »

Oh, Rose I do feel for you as I have also been in the same postiion.
It's so hard to keep everyone happy and your mum, unfortunately, will always be the least happy.
You might have to speak to the care agency yourself as they always let the times slide, especially at this time of year.
As for the washing, I found that my mum didn't want me to do the personal care, it took away her dignity.
Try to catch the main carer one day and speak to him/her, they are used to resistance and also you might find later that your mum might make up stories about you, some not nice.....don't take it to heart its all part of their anger at being immobile and unable to do everything themselves.
Most of all make time for yourself, even if it is just a wander round the shops or a soak in the bath, its your right too......chin up at least you are doing your bit.

Dont know how to multi quote so am replying ot each one seperately. I think tommorow I will wait outside Mums in the morning to try to catch the carer to see what is going on. I did the personal care thing for Dad for 18 months before he dies and he was incontinent and had dementia so it was tough. I would not mind but she does not even appreciate what I do and if I suggest one of my brothers should come occasionally she os horrified and says they are men they cant do anything ( only take most of my parents money over the years!!). Anyway rant over off out shopping. What is this about a 2p eyeshadow?