Do teachers really throw away homebaked gifts?

tom9980

2monkeys wrote: »

My child has an ASD and we battle prejudices within the school and inequalities within the education system everyday, but thanks for making a completey baseless assumption about me, you should be ashamed.

Why should i feel ashamed for you not giving the full story in the first place? i am not a mind reader and can only assume you are a mother of a normal child in a normal average school. I am sure i and others would have made suggestions to help you overcome your issues with the school and education system if you gave us the chance to, instead you assumed we know everything that you do.

So it now has all becomes clear to me that you have an axe to grind and your decision to give no gift is the right one given the circumstances.

There are 5 children in OH's school with issues she has a girl in her class with ASD and her mother has been amazed how well the school/teacher, child and herself are managing the whole process and making it a reality that her child may make it thought main stream education.

I am sorry you feel that things are not working out for you and your child but the issues can be extremely complex where individual human performance, funding and government meddling come into play.

Fire_Fox

Teachers need unhealthy food from their charges like they need a hole in the head. Don't encourage your kid's teachers to be overweight or go off sick (sugar and white carbs suppress immune function and promote systemic inflammation).

valk_scot

Back in the years my kids were in the school nursery one mum would do the rounds collecting a £5 donation each and then she'd buy M&S vouchers for the staff. |There were 80 kids in the nursery over two sessions and usually there would be £300 (not £600!!!) or so collected to buy vouchers to split between the four nursery staff. I thought it was a great idea, £5 for four pressies was a bargain for me and I think the staff were pretty happy with £75 each in M&S vouchers as opposed to 70 boxes of cheap chocolates. One of them told me she saved her vouchers for the M&S sale and had a great time spending them. The kids all made cards too of course.

Lately though it's just been one teacher to buy for. I go to the local posh chocolate shop, buy their very smallest gift box which contains six chocolates and costs that same £5 and DD takes that in together with a home made card. Crossed fingers that's acceptable, at least they don't have too many calories in them and it's a cute box!

Fire_Fox

valk_scot wrote: »

Back in the years my kids were in the school nursery one mum would do the rounds collecting a £5 donation each and then she'd buy M&S vouchers for the staff. |There were 80 kids in the nursery over two sessions and usually there would be £600 or so collected to buy vouchers to split between the four nursery staff. I thought it was a great idea, £5 for four pressies was a bargain for me and I think the staff were pretty happy with £75 each in M&S vouchers as opposed to 70 boxes of cheap chocolates. One of them told me she saved her vouchers for the M&S sale and had a great time spending them. The kids all made cards too of course.

Who was creaming off the profits? Because those numbers don't stack up!

valk_scot

Fire_Fox wrote: »

Who was creaming off the profits? Because those numbers don't stack up!

Some parents didn't contribute, either because they preferred to give their own gift or they didn't want to give a gift at all. It wasn't compulsory.

Also I meant £300, not £600. Duhh!! £75 each!!!

2monkeys

tom9980 wrote: »

Why should i feel ashamed for you not giving the full story in the first place? i am not a mind reader and can only assume you are a mother of a normal child in a normal average school. I am sure i and others would have made suggestions to help you overcome your issues with the school and education system if you gave us the chance to, instead you assumed we know everything that you do.

So it now has all becomes clear to me that you have an axe to grind and your decision to give no gift is the right one given the circumstances.

There are 5 children in OH's school with issues she has a girl in her class with ASD and her mother has been amazed how well the school/teacher, child and herself are managing the whole process and making it a reality that her child may make it thought main stream education.

I am sorry you feel that things are not working out for you and your child but the issues can be extremely complex where individual human performance, funding and government meddling come into play.

You said I clearly don't appreciate the time and effort teachers put in with my children, if this was the case why on would I ask whether my idea of a gift was appropriate or not? If I didn't want to give a thank you gift then I wouldn't, but as the general consensus on this thread is no to every kind of gift apart from a hearfelt note from the student then no gift is the best option.

duchy

daisiegg wrote: »

If you only tool 'a tiny bite' from some of them, what did you do with the rest of it if you wouldn't dream of throwing it away?! Is your house full of 11 year old cakes with one bite taken out of them?!

I'm so glad I'm not the only one who wondered that.

I used to have neighbours who were both teachers-whilst they lived next to me I rarely needed to buy wine or chocolates at Christmastime or flowers. They used to go home to family every Christmas so none of it ever was useful to them so the neighbours used to benefit.

At primary school we always had collections -made far more sense to buy a voucher or a nice bottle of perfume we knew they liked than lots of bits.

duchy

2monkeys wrote: »

My child has an ASD and we battle prejudices within the school and inequalities within the education system everyday, but thanks for making a completey baseless assumption about me, you should be ashamed.

Oh don't be so silly-this conversation isn't about YOU it's about the general thoughts about giving gifts to teachers at Christmas.

I've done my share of "battling prejudices within the school and inequalities within the education system everyday" but that has never stopped me expressing appreciation for the individual efforts of particular teachers (or fellow battlers of an unequal and sometimes prejudiced education system .....as I've sometimes found them to be) at a time of year gifts are an acceptable method of showing appreciation to such people. (and my son is ASD too btw......and the battling is well worth it -mine has just started a degree in business -it was a long and bumpy journey and I'm still emotionally supporting him but worth every meeting, battle and tear shed in despair or anger)

If you don't want to give a gift -because you don't feel appreciative -then that is fine -but it doesn't invalidate the actions of those who don't share your opinion.

Idiophreak

2monkeys wrote: »

I was planning on making mini xmas cakes out of an extra cake I made then letting the children stick a few xmas cake decorations on the top and colour the cake box but if it's going to be thrown out then I don't want to waste both the time and perfectly good cake!

Just because they don't eat the stuff, it doesn't mean they don't appreciate the time and effort that's gone into making it, so it's not exactly a "waste"... I always think the home made gifts my wife gets are much nicer than the generic boxes of chocolates she gets - although, realistically, it's the sealed boxes of stuff that actually get eaten...

I'm really envious of the people on here who don't appreciate the "standards" some people have in their homes - must be nice. the wife has received some *disgusting* non-edible gifts, where you take the wrapping off (which is easy, with all the hair, dust and "others" that are stuck under the tape) and clouds of cigarette smoke waft out of the thing, which is yellowed and filthy...We're both quite clean people and we're almost afraid to touch some of the things...Again, it's not that the thought isn't appreciated...just that we have *very* different ideas of cleanliness to some of the children's parents. The idea of eating anything that was cooked in one of these houses is just mortifying...

Owain_Moneysaver

Lilyplonk wrote: »

In the 80's I used to help out with School Fairs on the Cake Stall. I KNOW my kitchen was clean and that I followed Rules of Hygiene but one of my neighbours (who appeared outwardly clean) also used to contribute to the same Cake Stall. Sometimes customers would whisper to us 'Who made the cakes?' - I would never point the finger at that particular neighbour as she was a 'sort-of' friend, but I would just tell them which ones had come from MY kitchen and let them make their own choice .

I thought the etiquette was you bought your own cake that you'd donated earlier. That way you know the hygiene is acceptable (to you).