OH refuses to have anything to do with finances

Gra76

Errata wrote: »

I'm sorry if this sounds harsh, I think she's behaving like a spoilt brat because she knows she can get away with it. You can't change her behaviour, but if you change yours you may discover she changes hers too.

My problem is I make decisions logically (I think) whereas she makes them with her heart. I like to make sure we can do all the things we want to do in the future, she's only interested in what we can do now. I don't want to bury ourselves in debt again so she can have what she wants. We'll only end up getting it repossessed if we end up in any of the houses she's been eyeballing!

Counting_Pennies_2

I am sorry to hear of your diagnosis

I would contact mortgage companies first and see if you would qualify for a mortgage.

Paying off a mortgage with a critical illness payoff and applying a year later for a new one would send alarm bells ringing for a new mortgage company in these tight times

Counting_Pennies_2

Gra76 wrote: »

I told her to speak to her mum about it but she said she didn't think it was worth it as she couldn't see interest rates going up. I will get her head out of the sand eventually! We're going to see an IFA tomorrow to get a mortgage in principle so I'll raise the subject when we go to see him. See if that helps set her straight!

The bank of England printed yet more money a week ago. Inflation is a very big possibility, the country is anything but stable in terms of money, I would remind her we are not living in a boom time

Any

Gra76 wrote: »

She hasn't worked anything out figures-wise and by her own admission any talk of money sends her into panic mode. Trust me, I've sat down with her to discuss figures and it doesn't last more than 30 seconds because she doesn't want to know! It's hard to discuss figures with someone that has no interest in discussing them. I even printed a chart off of what we'd have to pay at varying interest rates on houses of certain values and she took one look at it and said she wasn't interested!

I now exactly how you feel, I have one of those at home.
But then I will just take the "do whatever you think is best". There is no point of going into arguments if one doesn't want to understand. Some people go immediately into panic mode/blank eyes/starts dancing around when they see numbers. I think she knows down there that her "dream" is unreachable and only tries you. If you thought down there anywhere that there is a chance, you would have granted her the wish, but if you are really carefull your first move would be the most cautious one, not necessarily one that you can really compromise on, that's why she tries. IYKWIM?

I do think you want too much from her. The mortgage advisor will be the best to explain it - they will not give you unafordable mortgage. Also third party is better at getting the message sink!!

JimmyTheWig

Gra76 wrote: »

My diagnosis was September last year, I had bi-weekly chemotherapy to fix it and finished that in February this year. So far so good in terms of it not coming back! I'm past it I hope, never to be seen again! *touches wood*

Nice one! That's the important bit in all of this.

Figures-wise....

We paid nearly £1000 a month (@ 5.5%) on our previous mortgage and I wouldn't want to be paying any more than that at the moment as it didn't leave an awful lot at the end of each month, although the bank balance was still going up.

At the moment I'd be more than comfortable paying £500 a month and overpaying. I'd ideally like to overpay by £300 per month though while the interest rates are so low. So a total of £800 per month including overpayments. I could realistically go higher than that but I want to have plenty of money left every month.

I think we've cut back quite well already but if we cut out absolutely everything I think we could live with paying £1,300 before things got really tight.

The mortgage term would be 25 years.

Ok, lets have a think.
On another thread someone is looking at a 3.99% rate for a 5 year fix. Lets assume that you can get a similar rate.
So you could borrow £100,000 for £527 a month, leaving you £273 a month for overpayments.
At the end of 5 years you would owe 68,934. You could then afford a 12.8% rate and still keep within your £800 a month and a 22.4% rate to keep within your £1300 maximum limit. So I think that is certainly safe!

Lets consider a "worst case" scenario that rates are 10% in 5 years time.
A mortgage of £152,000 now at 3.99% for 5 years would be £801 a month.
This would bring your balance down to £132,376 after 5 years.
Which would be £1277 a month at 10% - which is within your £1300 maximum.
If rates were a more reasonable 6% in 5 years time that would make the monthly repayments £948 at that point in time.

I don't know how that compares to what you and your wife are looking at?

JimmyTheWig

Counting_Pennies wrote: »

The bank of England printed yet more money a week ago. Inflation is a very big possibility, the country is anything but stable in terms of money, I would remind her we are not living in a boom time

High inflation is a reason to buy a big house now!

marisco_2

I am rather staggered that a grown woman cannot see the sense of what you are trying to explain to her. It is very wise to decide on an amount you feel comfortable about borrowing and looking at what the repayments will be at the current interest rate and how much that would increase by, when the inevitable rises start.

Everyone has a monthly budget and your mortgage repayments are a huge part of that. Knowing that this can be covered even when interest rates rise should give peace of mind and confidence in your house buying. All very well your wife saying that talking figures with you gives her panic attacks, I really dont understand that comment. Next time she comes out with that line ask her how she will feel in a few years time discussing being reposessed because you borrowed beyond your means and cant afford the re-payments any more.

Personally I would find it hard work and tedious to have a partner who refused to discuss such important issues in a grown up manner and passed the buck on responsibility the whole time.

Fire_Fox

I don't think it's inherently wrong for you to do all the finances and make all the decisions if you are both comfortable with that. But she then needs to suck up you deciding what price house you can afford to buy.

I'd be inclined to use the 'broken record technique', stock phrase that you repeat ad nauseam when she is being unreasonable even as simple as "we can't afford that" or "I would not be able to enjoy the house with bills that high and interest rates uncertain". If she wants to discuss it like adults or go through the figures let her come to you and ask, don't push her into it.

Counting_Pennies_2

JimmyTheWig wrote: »

High inflation is a reason to buy a big house now!

Only if you can afford it

Gra76

Following the house viewings we did today I'm glad to report that we don't have too much to worry about as she didn't like the most 2 most expensive houses anyway!

The other two were significantly cheaper and well within my comfort zone and I was glad my eldest son thoroughly approved of them both too.

They both need a bit of work on them but you'd do that anyway if you were staying in it for the next 20 years or so.

Oddly, the one I thought was going to be the most disappointing was actually (debatably) the best. Things seem to have turned out well anyway, and if my wife is happy to see both of the two we liked again I'd not have any worries with pricing!