Fed up.

david69_2

Does it matter how young she is at the end of the day she is being bullied

earthbound_misfit

Sorry but telling the OP to 'grow a thicker skin' doesn't actually help the situation, and is likely to make them feel worse/guilty for being upset. (And people wonder why it's so hard to go back to work with MH problems! Now you know - there is NO understanding.)

xcarlyx wrote: »

Called about the way I look, told i couldnt do my job, been swore at, they wouldnt help me find the name of a fabric today so couldnt place a order.

This has gone beyond 'banter'. They are personally attacking OP and actually preventing her from doing the job.
I've worked in places where there's lots of swearing, overly sexual talk, etc, but still people were nice to each other and showed the newbie the ropes!

Wyndham

I'm female, and work in IT, so it can be very male dominated (and when I started 20 years ago it definately was). There is more banter, and insulting banter, which you can either take personally, or get upset by - and I've done both. But actually, over time I've learnt to give as good as I get when necessary, and that helps most of all.

Partly it depends on what was said and how it was said. Whie it may not be appropriate to call the OP on her looks, it does depend how it's done. People often tell my 6' 4" husband that he is tall (he knows this) or tell me he's tall (I know this too) but it's more about making conversation rather than being mean. Telling someone they can't do their job could, again, be done in different ways, with different intentions behind it.

But, I would draw the line about not helping her find the name of a fabric, as that seems obstructive. However, it could also be that the OP should know how to do this by now, or has been told a few times, after which people do get less helpful. I'm not saying that's the case here, just wondering out loud.

carew1967

If its a large company then ring your head office, if not then go to the Citizens advice.

DebtClearer

bring perfume in to the office and spray them if they are naughty. Won't be one of the lads then will they!!!!

Seriously - it is unacceptable so I would start looking for another job and chalk it off to life experience.

Dirk_Gently_2

Not knowing whether they're crossing the line here or not, lot of work environments the nature is to test new people to "see what they're made of."

It may not be easy to handle, but sadly the reality of situations like this is if you let people show that it affects you then it only tends to get worse.

zoominatorone

earthbound_misfit wrote: »

Sorry but telling the OP to 'grow a thicker skin' doesn't actually help the situation, and is likely to make them feel worse/guilty for being upset. (And people wonder why it's so hard to go back to work with MH problems! Now you know - there is NO understanding.)



This has gone beyond 'banter'. They are personally attacking OP and actually preventing her from doing the job.
I've worked in places where there's lots of swearing, overly sexual talk, etc, but still people were nice to each other and showed the newbie the ropes!

Unless I am missing something, the opening post had nothing in it about mental health problems in it??

paddedjohn

david69 wrote: »

Does it matter how young she is at the end of the day she is being bullied

It could be a factor. Many times in my working life I have seen young people who start work and find it hard and think that everyone is against them, it could all be a misunderstanding. Sometimes it's hard to take the leap from mothers apron strings to the real world of adulthood. This might not be the case with the OP, that's why I asked how old she was but she hasn't answered yet.

scooby088

xcarlyx wrote: »

I am already looking for another job. I dont want to be one of the lads

Why not, In any workplace there is banter, maybe you aren't used to it!! I'm afraid there is probably nothing you can do if you feel it's bullying apart from move to another job.

maninthestreet

scooby088 wrote: »

Why not, In any workplace there is banter, maybe you aren't used to it!! I'm afraid there is probably nothing you can do if you feel it's bullying apart from move to another job.

Incorrect - the OP maybe a victim of sexual harrassment, and their employer has a duty of care to them. The OP should keep a diary of any incidents where they feel threatened, humiliated or ridiculed by a fellow employee or employees, and present this to their management.