childrens xmas stockings?

indebtinsussex

Just a general wondering

I've finished my xmas shopping for the kids from santa, they've basically got 10 pressies each, which includes two books each (although we want to get some small small stocking filling items, ie socks and something xmassy and cheesy).

Even though we agreed that we would limit the amount of pressies each child got to a manageable amount both for the amount of items and costs, when I listen to the amount that other mums on the playground are buying for their kids, and the amount being spent, I feel like a complete tightwad and keep wondering if I should push the boat out more.

do other people feel like this or have I just got a low guilt threshold!

victory

Every other person seems to have bought more, is getting more, all the kids in the playground are outdoing each other, xmas is about the love, family, closeness, being with each other, not how you can outdo the Joneses;)

You are not a tightwad, just smile to yourself and think of them in January with their credit card bills and how they have maxed out but you have been smarter and have kept to a budget so you know that come January you can still buy food and maybe have a bit left over to buy some pressies in the boots 75% off sales:D

indebtinsussex

victory wrote: »

Every other person seems to have bought more, is getting more, all the kids in the playground are outdoing each other, xmas is about the love, family, closeness, being with each other, not how you can outdo the Joneses;)

You are not a tightwad, just smile to yourself and think of them in January with their credit card bills and how they have maxed out but you have been smarter and have kept to a budget so you know that come January you can still buy food and maybe have a bit left over to buy some pressies in the boots 75% off sales:D

I think its the childrens flippant attitudes to what they expect, which is what disturbs me most. A lot of children in ds year (he's 6) got Ipads last year or seem to be getting them this year, and I couldnt think of anything worse to get him, I just want them to stay children a bit longer! and it seems to be a never ending list of the I wants

we've always told ds that santa can only fit a small amount of pressies on the sleigh for each child, and never to ask him for more than 6 things otherwise its just being greedy!

we've chosen to spend most of our xmas money on activities to do as a family throughout december. so will keep reminding myselfof your comment and think screw the rest of the playground!

Possession

While they might feel a bit jealous of the ones with iPads, I think most children realise the boundaries. My son is also in yr 6, and he has only asked for one thing, which costs £15. We've only had my part-time salary coming in for 2 years and things have been tough, so we reminded them last year that there wouldn't be lots of presents. There were more than they thought there would be because I had got bargains throughtout the year, but I know DS really wanted Skylanders and didn't ask as he knew it was too expensive. This year, DH is just about to start a new job so we will have a bit more money by Christmas. DS has entered a competition to win the new Skylanders but little does he know he will be opening one anyway!
So I wouldn't worry too much about what other people get. However many kids get more than your child, there will be just as many who get less.

donnalou

I do think it's the parents fault too. I see photos on Facebook of the massive piles of childrens presents costing hundreds of pounds when the parents are skint so no doubt it goes on credit cards. It's like they have to show off.

Saying that I always felt like the poor kid in the class when it came to christmas or birthday presents.My Mum was and still is the worse person for buying presents. Birthday presents were hardly ever wrapped. I don't think that you have to spend a lot of money but it is the thought that goes into it that counts. When I was 14 or 15 there was a huge box wrapped up in my Mums wardrobe I was convinced it was the Hi Fi I wanted and I remember telling all my friends. I was a typical teenager and loved my music. My Mum was so excited she let me open the present on Christmas Eve. My Hi Fi I longed for was a black and white telly! I never watched telly!

I don't think I'll ever be like my Mum and I hope I wont be one of those show off parents either. My LO will be 11 months old at Christmas. I bought her 6 presents and spent about £30 which I think is plenty my friend whos LO is the same age as spent over £200 and yes it is all on credit cards.

themull1

It depends on what you've done in the past, if you've always bought 50 presents then went to 10, maybe the kids would notice, but if 10 is the norm for you, thats fine. Every family has a different idea on what the right amount of presents is.

bossymoo

I hate that competitive mum thing why do people feel the need to share how much they spend with people in the playground?

I think you have to do what's right for your family. My kiddies got loads last year (they were only 1 and 2, it wasn't all from me, and they didn't know what to look at first!) and this year I want to be more selective. I want them to enjoy what they get and not get stressed from being overwhelmed! X

jubilee14

we are having a much more frugal christmas this year but every year we have never given kids more than 5 presents max plus their stockings ( which is mostly made up of poundshop) but we have all the presents bought for the kids this year agreed no more for them except stockings and stick to it. I grew up in a big family and i remember being the child that just couldnt be happy as i never got the new bike or stereo my friends got. But i am older now i see my parents gave everything they could and the importance was not on xmas. So whether there are a few tears on xmas morning - because there will be even if you bought the kids everything and more they wanted... or at least by lunchtime.. if they grow up to remember you did it with love then thats what matters.

MrsNoir

indebtinsussex wrote: »

Just a general wondering

I've finished my xmas shopping for the kids from santa, they've basically got 10 pressies each, which includes two books each (although we want to get some small small stocking filling items, ie socks and something xmassy and cheesy).

Even though we agreed that we would limit the amount of pressies each child got to a manageable amount both for the amount of items and costs, when I listen to the amount that other mums on the playground are buying for their kids, and the amount being spent, I feel like a complete tightwad and keep wondering if I should push the boat out more.

do other people feel like this or have I just got a low guilt threshold!

Love its all relevant - some people may earn a hell of a lot an spend loads because they can, others may now have a fair amount of debt paying things off, others may have saved all year etc etc Really dont worry - you do what is comfortable for you, and what you're happy with. Its not all about the presents, or the amount spent and some people dont get that - I knew people growing up that would positively delight in gloating about what they'd had for xmas etc, yet half of it wasnt appreciated (I realise I could tie myself in knots here desperately trying not to offend and yet actually offending someone ) however these 'friends' of mine never had the kind of christmas I dreamed of having - a happy family eating together and enjoying the day and the season, watching a xmas film together etc.

Ive told my 2 (6 and 4) that its okay to hope for a couple of things in particular, and maybe if they are really good they'll get them, but to want everything they see is unrealistic and what about all the other children that want a present?

When your children are older, they will remember the xmas films you watched as a family, the xmas day walks, baking xmas tree decs... You see my point? Im sure you and your children will have a beautiful day

mum2one

As the others have said I bet that all these presents are on the credit card and come Jan they won't know which way to turn, and yes they may have the latest gadget but I bet those children won't be having half a gd time as your are.

Its not the money spent, its more about the love, for my DD shes 10 and yes whats things but from a young age she been given a choice of items even if it was a tshirt, because I wanted to bring her up with values that everything doesn't fall into your lap, and now shes a little demon for sale items, if I come home and say i've got another christmas present done off the list, the 1st question she will ask was it in the sale!

Her 1st xmas she was only 3 months old, I spent about £300 on her, flipping stupid looking back on things now, but at the time it seemed right.

Now I rather spend a smaller amount at Christmas and we have treats throughtout the year, and she remembers the treats more than what she had for last xmas xx

bubblegumcola

indebtinsussex wrote: »

Just a general wondering

I've finished my xmas shopping for the kids from santa, they've basically got 10 pressies each, which includes two books each (although we want to get some small small stocking filling items, ie socks and something xmassy and cheesy).

Even though we agreed that we would limit the amount of pressies each child got to a manageable amount both for the amount of items and costs, when I listen to the amount that other mums on the playground are buying for their kids, and the amount being spent, I feel like a complete tightwad and keep wondering if I should push the boat out more.

do other people feel like this or have I just got a low guilt threshold!

Don't beat yourself up about the amount you are spending at Christmas compared to others. You have a limit and stick to it, your family will appreciate what they get. When I was younger I used to hate the competitiveness in the school playground and being asked what I had been given for Christmas. I would never say because usually I didn't get loads and loads and didn't usually get any of the 'in' stuff. I grew up fine and I did appreciate how difficult it must have been for my parents as I knew there wasn't a lot of money floating about.

It's not the cost or the trendiness of the gifts you are giving. I feel it's the thought and the memories of the day and who you spend it with. I know it's easy to say but I have been there when I was younger. I don't have a huge budget now, I can get some things my kids want but they do know there are limits. My middle child asked for a very expensive computer console and whilst I really wish I could I've just had to tell him there is no way I can afford it. I feel bad for letting him down but I think he understands and he has come up with alternative suggestions for less expensive things, he is a teenager though but it's difficult with the younger ones.

You will have a great christmas no matter how inexpensive the gifts. XXX