Real-life MMD: Should I pay to see my girlfriend?

Former_MSE_Debs Former MSE Posts: 890 Forumite
edited 13 November 2012 at 5:41PM in MoneySaving polls
Money Moral Dilemma: Should I pay to see my girlfriend?

My girlfriend's recently moved away to study. Though I want to see her on weekends, it's not cheap to travel. I've suggested we go halves, since I normally pay the fare to go to her, but she thinks she shouldn't contribute as I'm earning and she's not. However, I don't earn much and while I know she's worse off than me, I think it's a little unfair I should effectively pay to see her.

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  • mazz1953
    mazz1953 Forumite Posts: 190
    Part of the Furniture 100 Posts Combo Breaker Holiday Haggler
    Do you really need to see her every weekend? If you went once a month, then you would be able to afford it yourself.
  • DKLS
    DKLS Forumite Posts: 13,459
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    Man up, if you dont like paying dump her, if you do want to see her put some effort there is plenty of tips and advice on here on how to minimise travelling costs.
  • Dasa
    Dasa Forumite Posts: 702
    Tenth Anniversary 500 Posts
    As you're earning and she isn't it's unfair to expect her to go halves.
    Perhaps if you can't afford it don't go every weekend, go say every other weekend. She could pay for a meal for you both now and again to compensate.
  • MothballsWallet
    MothballsWallet Forumite Posts: 15,848
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    When my wife was still my girlfriend, we often didn't see each for a year or more - we kept in touch by letter and phone and saw each other as and when we could.
  • bylromarha
    bylromarha Forumite Posts: 10,085
    I've been Money Tipped!
    If it's a casual thing, dump her.

    If it's a serious relationship or got the potential to be, then talk to her about it rather than ask the internet. Good communication is vital in a good relationship.
    Who made hogs and dogs and frogs?
  • ironlady2022
    ironlady2022 Forumite Posts: 1,544
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    Depending on where both your locations are. Try Megabus/mega train, split ticketing on trains and booking at least 3 months in advance :)
  • System
    System Community Admin Posts: 178,004
    10,000 Posts Photogenic Name Dropper
    Community Admin
    edited 14 November 2012 at 9:00AM
    I'd say go halves. I'm currently not working but my bf is, but i still give him money for train fare, and i also bought him a railcard (1/3 off!), however he always comes to see me (he still lives at home where as i don't)

    Heck when i was still in 6th form i used to save up half my dinner money so i could go visit my then bf :eek:
  • marisa
    marisa Forumite Posts: 151 Forumite
    Can she actually afford to go halves or would that leave her short for essentials?
    If it is a matter of you pay or you don't see each other then your choice is right there.
    If she can afford it, even though she has no income, e.g has lots of money spare it is up to her if she thinks you are worth paying to come see her.
    If she chooses to spend her money on things other than seeing you when she could afford it, then it is hardly meant to be.
    It all comes down to what her social budget is and if she chooses to spend it on you or not.

    What did you want from this thread, if we tell her she has to pay will you link this and she will cough up without resentment??

    If we say no you should pay, but we can tell you don't want to, you will keep arguing and resenting her.

    So decide if she is worth it and if so don't nag her to pay, if she can afford it but doesn't pay that shows you aren't worth much to her anyway so best apart.

    Saving for a year in Japan.
    I need around £10,000. Help me get there! :cool:
  • oldtrout
    oldtrout Forumite Posts: 129
    Part of the Furniture Combo Breaker
    She moved away to study. Didn't she plan to return now and again anyway, ie some travel costs? Suppose it depends on how much you need to see each other.
  • lisawaters
    lisawaters Forumite Posts: 2,081 Forumite
    If her family lives near you, maybe she's got a cute sister?
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