Can i afford to give up work to look after disabled son?

princessdon

£140.80 pw income support and carers
£141.61 tax creditsc(disabled element)
Council tax in full
Help with mortgag
Plus dla

That's my workings out

xylophone

The trouble with mainstream schools is that they really can't meet every child's needs with classroom of 34 kids and the owness on the child to organise themselves and cope with 10 different teacher styles.

Even non- Asperger's children can find the transition from the relative security and class teacher led organisation of primary school to the busy and increasingly self led organisation of secondary school difficult - it is true that

the onus is on the child

to know his timetable and where the next lesson is to take place, (form room, gym, laboratory, art room etc).

However, for a child on the autistic spectrum, this change can be extra disorientating.

Did the school know of the child's situation before he started? It is difficult to see how they didn't since the characteristic Asperger signs show up from an early age.

If so, I am wondering why extra support was not already in place when he arrived?

Another thought, is it this particular school where he cannot settle (although if he has only just started it is early days)?

Has an alternative school been investigated?

If you home school, what arrangements are you able to put in place for each of you so that you don't end up wholly emotionally dependent on each other?

You mention that you are a lone parent - as a lone teacher as well you could end up just as stressed as you are at the moment and possibly very resentful as well that you have been pushed into a corner and can't escape.

Think carefully about whether leaving your job is really a good idea?

tiddlertot

princessdon wrote: »

I get your benefits as circa £1400 pm (depending on council tax bill) Plus mortgage help which depends on your mortgage rate and balance etc. Plus dla so you could be better off actually (mortgage depending)

That is exactly what I was trying to say.

There is no incentive to work when that level of 'free' money is available.

princessdon

tiddlertot wrote: »

That is exactly what I was trying to say.

There is no incentive to work when that level of 'free' money is available.

I 100% agree about the high rate of benefits but I wouldn't wish to be in Op's position and she didn't make the policy.

tiddlertot

razzie wrote: »

tiddlertot it's people like you that really
make my blood boil. It's not free money, i have paid my taxes for 20 years
and never claimed a benefit.

Well all I can say is that i have worked for double that period, never been
out of work and never claimed a 1d in sickness benefit.
So using your logic I should be getting a rebate double what yours is then - because I have paid in twice as much as you?

Many was the time when i could have done with a few weeks on the sick.

Mind you I do give you credit though for working 20 years before claiming a rebate, some never bother working at all and expect 'because they are entitled' to anything and everything.

tiddlertot

princessdon wrote: »

I 100% agree about the high rate of benefits but I wouldn't wish to be in Op's position and she didn't make the policy.

No I absolutley agrre with you - I too would not want to be in that situation.

It's, as you say, the level of money that is thrown at people that gets me.

So what was it £1400 every 4 weeks + the interest paid on a mortage/or rent paid + DLA.

My reckoning is that that will total up to approx £2100 a month - equal to a gross salary of close to £30,000 a year!!!

And what is the poster currently bringing home with working?

System

tiddlertot wrote: »

Well all I can say is that i have worked for double that period, never been
out of work and never claimed a 1d in sickness benefit.
So using your logic I should be getting a rebate double what yours is then - because I have paid in twice as much as you?

Many was the time when i could have done with a few weeks on the sick.

Mind you I do give you credit though for working 20 years before claiming a rebate, some never both working at all and expect 'because they are entitled' to anything and everything.

Really? I'm sure your last incarnation was on ESA

tiddlertot

xXMessedUpXx wrote: »

tiddlertot wrote: »

Really? I'm sure your last incarnation was on ESA

Sorry?

Like I have said i have never claimed any benefits.

tiddlertot

The poster seems very switched on with her knowledge of DLA as well as seeking further info as to what else she can claim.

I only get my bee in my bonnett because of what I see is happening to those that aren't as switched on.
In particular the old folk.

You would be surprised how many don't claim anything that they are clearly entitled to. Some living in dire straights just because they feel embarrassed in asking for help.

It is a well accepted fact that they are the highest group of non claimers - pension credit, housing benefit, council tax benefit & attendance allowance.

It just seems a bit unfair that here we have a poster who will take up every offer of benefits yet there are 1000's of older people that miss out on so much.

LunaLady

tiddlertot wrote: »

I can really feel for you. I was in a very similar situation when my children were 12 (twin boys) and I was 45.
I had worked all of my life following my professional career, had never had a day off sick or unemployed. I was reaching the pinnacle of my career and earning a 6 figure salary.

PTSD caused me to have to give up my employment. I had some professional (NHS) help, but it didn't work.

For the next 18 years I have tried to do some work - mainly menial low paid employment - stacking sheves for 18 months. I also volunteered for a few years. But in the main for those 18 years following the 'incident' we have survived on means tested benefits. The cars went, our home was repossessed, most of our clothes are bought from charity shops. We sold everything and anything of any value just to put food on the table and to see both of my sons go through grammer school then into university.

To go from £100,000pa+ to £100 a week was hard.

It is only now 18 years later that I am getting any 'real' help from the NHS and I look back at the waste of the previous 18 years all because the help wasn't offered . I now know that you have to fight for it - it doesn't just come knocking on your door.

You need a better memory if you are going to lie.