Oh still doesnt get it!

notanothernewbie

Will start off with some background info. About 4 years ago OH had amassed about £80k's worth of debt (very long tale) At the time I was in a very dark lonely place and made the mistake of being talked into a re-mortgage to clear his debts. I cut down on everything, worked extra and have cleared all my credit cards and a loan. He appears to be seriously in arrears, which he refuses to discuss.
The real problems at the moment are Frederickson Int, he owes about £15k and either Cougar or Transcomm whom he owes about £4k, these are seriously behind (I have read the letters) Other accounts are roughly up to date. He is refusing to speak to, or write to anyone and thinks I will sort it out. Whilst I appreciate that a marriage is a partnership, I feel he has done nothing to help himself and I refuse to pay his debts.
My biggest worry is the house, if either of these companies take him to court, would they be likely to apply for immediate charging orders, or could we be forced to sell the house? We havfe 4 children, 3 still at school
Many thanks for any advice.
NANB.

FireWyrm

UNfortunatley, by rolling the debt into the mortgage, you made yourself responsible for his debts. I'm afraid that for better or worse, you're involved in this now.

Is there anyway you can get a decent statement of accounts from the debts and post it? Perhaps we can offer some more targetted advice.

notanothernewbie

Thanks for your reply Firewyrm. The amount of the remortgage I know I'm Stuck with (please don't tell me I was stupid, I know!) Its the accounts which are now in arrears I am not prepared to help with. Will look around for statements and get back
NANB.

notanothernewbie

Here goes, list of creditors:
Captial One (with Fredrickson Int.) Limit £14000. Balance £15976 all due
American Express (with Cougar) Limit £4500 Balance £4002 all due
Lloyds tsb Limit £3850 Balance £3768 Pyt £106.37 due tomorrow
Santander Limit £4000 Balance £2627 Pyt £78.86 due next week
Creation Limit £3150 Balance £2916 Pyt £124.00 due 2/11
RBS Limit £3820 Balance £3844 Pyt £168.26 due 4/11
tsb loan £13000 Balance £12293 Pyt £288 due 25/11
tsb O/d £500 ish
Looks frightening! It is the first 2 I am most concerned about

FireWyrm

OK. I think you need the services of CCCS here. There is obviously no way you will informally pay this lot off yourself, so you need to come to arrangements with your creditors.

Speak to CCCS as a matter of urgency and they will be able to advise in detail and contact your creditors to negotiate.

However, I caution you that this arrangment will have quite strict conditions, and one of those is that you live within the budget for the term of the arrangement.

You need to get your husband on board, because at those sort of values, the credit card companies will almost certainly be seeking CCJs in very short order, if not an outright charging order against the house. They might be seeking bankrupsy against your husband and either way, its a bleak outlook unless you do something decisive to get control.

notanothernewbie

I wish I could get OH on board!! That is the biggest problem. Tried discussing it last night and was told to mind my own business, he would sort it when he was ready. I asked when was that likely to be? reply "soon" I then lost it completely and pointed out that we were in danger of losing the house. His reply "If you don't loke it you can always leave!!" Will try CCCS later but don't know how far I'll get as the accounts are not mine. Only joint finalcial matters are the mortgage and a joint bank account with about £10.00 in (never use it) All bills are paid from my account and are up to date. (deep sigh)

kj*daisy

Are those all debts he run up since you paid of the last ones with the re-mortgage? It looks like you need some advice from CCCS on this as you are concerned bout the house.

notanothernewbie

Thanks KJ. No these debts are the ones which were not repaid out of the re-mortgage. We were unable to borrow enough to clear all his debts (sould I say thankfully) so this is the residue. Will be contacting CCCS as soon as all children out of house. NANB

FireWyrm

This sound like it's far more serious than normal.

Please go to the council and explain that you are in a vulnerable situation. They will then be able to point you in the direction of more 'targeted' help via local groups of women. If what is happening is what I suspect, you need to start making plans to extricate yourself entirely from this situation.

Bottom line, short of a religious epiphany, your husband wont change. He will continue to bleed your combined finances until he has destroyed you both. For your own health and future, you must seek professional help and advice right now.

This isnt a debt problem now. Thats a symptom of a wider issue which I suggest you start making plans to deal with.

milliemonster

I've just quickly added up this additional debt which comes to another £45k, has he amassed this on top of the £80k you remortgaged for only 4 years ago?

I think aside from the issue of how to tackle this astonishing amount again in such a short space of time and fact that your OH is not on board, you also need to take a step back and look at your lifestyles, is this something that you have just become aware of or have you known since the last remortgage that he has continued to spend beyond his means and month by month continue to accrue debt?

It's one thing tackling the debt, it's another totally changing your lives to learn from the experience and learn to live within your means, what is he spending all this money on? and why?, can you give us more information? as if you both as a couple can't get to the bottom of this and break the cycle your financial future looks incredibly bleak

XXSCOTSLASSXX

£45k is a lot to have run up in 4 years.... does he have anything to show for it ...is there a gambling issue?? if nothing to show for it and no other issues then have the funds been used for living expenses?? if so then it would seem you are maybe BOTH living outwith your means.. whilst you feel it has nothing to do with you and isnt your debt if funds have been used for 'family' I could maybe understand his reluctance to talk about it etc if you have already said to him is nothing to do with you and you are not paying it etc.... maybe an soa would be a good idea....