Are only Children Lonely?

Bargainbabe_2

I am an only child and always wanted a sister to play with..not only that, when my parents got divorced ( I was 11) I really wished I had someone to share the heartache with. Now I am 30, I still wish I had a sibling as when my parents got ill recently it was an enormous strain on me having to try and look after them as well as my own family. It would of been great if someone else could of helped out!
I have 1 lil boy who is 7 and am now pregnant with my 2nd. It took a long time to decide on whether to have another, but now we are, I am so glad that we have decided to extend our family.

Bettyboop

Another thing I find is that sometimes people will say to me "so when are you going to be having a brother or sister for ......? When I hear that I really feel bad and if things werent so bad she would have siblings.

Vashti

Bettyboop wrote: »

Vashti, the future is looking very bleak. I still love my husband but even though we both contributed to the seperation and he was the one who had 2 affairs. He doesn't want to be with me anymore and if it all worked out and he had another affair sometime in the future I don't know what I would do.

For now though I am putting my daughter first. She's the world to me and having custody of her and - I'm trying to get our home back is all I want from him along + Child Support of course but that's it. Thanks.

Bettyboop... been there.

My husband left me for his long term ex girlfriend, a year after we married, and he had a couple of affairs too. The way I see it now, I wonder why I adored him so much when he was such a sh*it to me, but I couldn't see it then and the fact we had a child who was my whole world (he didn't seem to feel the same...still has no contact) just made things worse. I found I spent a good part of what should have been going through life enjoying my child, feeling guilty and worrying about his future. He has turned out to be very well adjusted and happy. Yes, as he gets older I guess he would have preferred the comfort of siblings..for all the reasons that another poster states, but it was not meant to be, so why grieve what he never had, and never will have.

Early days yet. Perhaps once you fall out of love with him, and feel able to move on, you will meet someone else and have everything you *think* will make yours a perfect world. For the moment though, just be happy with your lot, know that you are doing the very best for your darling girl and remember what ever happens, if we love our children, they will grow up feeling wanted, valued, secure and happy. They don't need siblings for that.

I wish you the best.

Spendless

Hi,

Well I do have 2 children but bear in mind when my eldest was 4 despite having a sister, he couldn't play with her cos she was only 12 months old. Now she is 4 she does have a 7yo brother, so she has a playmate but only in holidays, weekends as he is at school full-time and she isn't and he doesn't want to play fairies and make believe games, whereas she doesn't always think his game of soaking her with cold water or play fighting is a great idea:rolleyes: , and when they do fall out, you don't get the easy option of sending the other child home.;)

Mark7799

As an only child, I don't know the answer. Yes, I never had anyone to compete for attention with but I know no different so It's a hard one to respond to.

Toto

I have 5 brothers, I am the only girl, for years I thought the sole purpose of a barbie doll was to be the target for airgun practice!

Anyway, we were close-ish as kids, had to be, there were so many of us, but we did fight for attention. Now we are all grown and in our 30s and 40s and to be honest we may as well be only children. WE see each other for weddings and funerals, that's it. We haven't fallen out, there are no issues, we do love each other to bits, but I think we grew up so on top of each other it drove us physically apart in lots of ways. The boys are all useless if anyone is sick or needs us, I'm the girl so it's my gig to deal with that. When I was growing up I longed for a sister, I guess we always want what we don't have, perhaps if you did have another child your daughter would want you all to herself again.

Bettyboop

Thanks everyone for sharing your thoughts. My little one really loves playing Barbies with me. I don't mind but from what I have been reading having siblings and being an only child has it's good and bad points.

Vashti - for a very long time to come I don't want to meet anyone else. I',m just one of those people if it comes to kids that I want them to have the same father if you know what I mean. I can't imagine having another kid with anyone else.

I have been asked to work today and won't be able to make it to Church today but I will catch up this afternoon.

Have a great Sunday everyone.

bluebell13

Bettyboop, how sad that you feel everything is so bleak. I know you won't believe this but you will move on in time.

My Millenium year was the worst ever. My 3rd IVF treatment failed, my marriage broke up, I had to move out ( I could not afford to buy him out so I moved), and to cap it all my parents had a massive row with my sibling and did not speak for 2 years.

2007 - I have a lovely home, a new partner, a son of 5, and a daughter of 2, and my family are all speaking again. Im not saying it has been easy, and I still suffer from anxiety that everything will go wrong, but it goes to show that things can turn around.

You deserve someone who treats you better than that. I hope one day you will find it.

Just to say I had to stop writing this as my daughter has just bitten my son on the arm for stealing her blanket!!!!!!

bobmacuk

Bettyboop wrote: »

Hi All,

It really breaks my heart when she says things like why don't I have a brother or sister to play with? or I want to play with a friend etc...I don't want to be by myself : (.

Bettyboop. x

My daughter was and is the same, still has a lot more friends round and take them away on holiday so she has a play pal ( shes 14 now).

My wife and I have separated in the last year and my daughter has said that she would like me to find a woman young enough to have a baby so she can have a brother or sister.

hope i have helped

Bettyboop

bluebell13, thanks for sharing. I hope your son is okay. I suffer with Anxiety/depression and have anti-depressants that I take everyday. Geez, you really did go through one hell of a time. It must have felt like ages for everything to work out for you.

Hope I will find happiness someday like you to : ).