Really confused, husband may have to give up work??!!

tanith

What does your GP say? has he been referred for physio or investigations at the local hospital? there are lots of avenues to pursue before he quits to become an invalid.. he should also be referred to Occupational Health to see how they might help, they will at least see what they can do to ease his working conditions or find a less stressful job for him..

shop-to-drop

You need to get out all his work related documents and pension documents. He should also speak to his union rep. There should be lots of help for him through his work you certainly won't end up on purely benefits as income.

KiKi

Dunroamin wrote: »

I'd just add that osteopathy is also worth investigating for back pain - it made an enormous difference to me.

I tried it - made no difference, unfortunately. It was too 'gentle' for the problem I had. I needed my back realigned!

All the tingling in my arms and the sciatica has stopped, too - hurrah!

Glad it helped you, though.

[Deleted User]

That's what they said mine was turning into sciatica! Luckily my disc is ok it's just muscle damage caused by walking funny and doing things strangly basically compensating for the pain. It was also causing problems with my neck. When she was massaging my neck I felt physically sick as I could feel the knots moving around, but now I can sit, stand, drive pain free :-) :-)

tiddlertot

LeeLee81 wrote: »

Hello i'm new to the site and was hoping for some advice.

My husband is a train driver and 5 years ago he started getting back and neck problems which was aggravated by Post Traumatic Stress Disorder that he has from someone that jumped in front of his train and died. He has continued for 5 years with pain daily to the point sometimes where he has neck cramps and is doubled over in pain and after every shift he comes home and lies on the floor because that is the only relief he gets from the constant pain. He has had time of work and has been referred to all sorts of health professionals telling him all different things. Anyway, things are getting so bad that we think that he is going to have to give up work altogether and we would like to know where we stand with benefits. It's so confusing, i've been on entitled to but i just don't understand it all.

Basically i need someone to help me work it all out with me if i can tell you about our family. We are married and have two children (1 and 5 years). My husband would have to claim some sort of incapacity benefit. Can i get carers allowance for myself for looking after him as i don't know if what i do for him warrants carers allowance. He can't pick up the kids, change nappies, hoover, wash up, cook himself dinner, push a pushchair, bend down for more than five minutes to say look for something in a drawer or a low cupboard, cant put the kids in their car seats, anything really that involves looking downwards or having his arms out in front of him as all these things aggravate this problem to the point sometimes where his fingers go numb. What sort of level of incapacity benefit would he be put on? Any idea?

From what i gather we could get housing benefit, council tax benefit, child benefit (which we already receive), tax credits, free school dinners. But apart from these what else on top could we get?

We would really appreciate any advice as we are so worried about what we are going to do

I can really feel for you. I was in a very similar situation when my children were 12 (twin boys) and I was 45.
I had worked all of my life following my professional career, had never had a day off sick or unemployed. I was reaching the pinnacle of my career and earning a 6 figure salary.

PTSD caused me to have to give up my employment. I had some professional (NHS) help, but it didn't work.

For the next 18 years I have tried to do some work - mainly menial low paid employment - stacking sheves for 18 months. I also volunteered for a few years. But in the main for those 18 years following the 'incident' we have survived on means tested benefits. The cars went, our home was repossessed, most of our clothes are bought from charity shops. We sold everything and anything of any value just to put food on the table and to see both of my sons go through grammer school then into university.

To go from £100,000pa+ to £100 a week was hard.

It is only now 18 years later that I am getting any 'real' help from the NHS and I look back at the waste of the previous 18 years all because the help wasn't offered . I now know that you have to fight for it - it doesn't just come knocking on your door.

Mara69

tiddlertot wrote: »

I can really feel for you. I was in a very similar situation when my children were 12 (twin boys) and I was 45.
I had worked all of my life following my professional career, had never had a day off sick or unemployed. I was reaching the pinnacle of my career and earning a 6 figure salary.

PTSD caused me to have to give up my employment. I had some professional (NHS) help, but it didn't work.

For the next 18 years I have tried to do some work - mainly menial low paid employment - stacking sheves for 18 months. I also volunteered for a few years. But in the main for those 18 years following the 'incident' we have survived on means tested benefits. The cars went, our home was repossessed, most of our clothes are bought from charity shops. We sold everything and anything of any value just to put food on the table and to see both of my sons go through grammer school then into university.

To go from £100,000pa+ to £100 a week was hard.

It is only now 18 years later that I am getting any 'real' help from the NHS and I look back at the waste of the previous 18 years all because the help wasn't offered . I now know that you have to fight for it - it doesn't just come knocking on your door.

Your story is a salutary lesson that if you need medical help, are earning wages in excess of £100k and are not getting the help you need on the NHS then you should consider paying for health care.

KiKi

Totally. I've paid just under £400 for my intensive treatment (3 treatments a week for 4 weeks), that includes X-rays and a scan. Yes, it's a lot of money for some people - but to have your back fixed, the pain gone, mobility and to be able to have your life back, it's nothing. I've cut down elsewhere to pay for it.

OP, as you even mention numbness in his fingers, he needs to get this treated pronto. This is nerve damage. The longer you leave it, the less likely a recovery is. A life on benefits and in pain is just not worth the small price you could pay for private treatment which could potentially halve his symptoms quite quickly.

I don't know where you are, but if you're in the South I can PM you the chiropractor I'm seeing if that's helpful.

KiKi

mumps

I found a chiropractor really helped me, unfortunately it is not for everyone. My husband has severe back problems, much worse than I had, he was warned not to let anyone try to manipulate it in any way. Even the physio at the hospital where he was being treated wouldn't touch him.

xylophone

http://www.aslef.org.uk/shared_asp_files/GFSR.asp?NodeID=132809

Presumably he is a member of the pension scheme.
https://www.railwayspensions.co.uk/Resources/Client/PML.RailwayPensions/Templates/PortalHome.aspx?DocID=2726&

DaisyFlower

Given he as been able to father another child whilst having the condition then preumably he is not unable to do everything.

Whilst looking at other treatments he could look for a job that is more suitable to his condition. With treatment perhaps he can care for the children and you could work instead.