Long term implications of being 'Sectioned'

Corelli

whitewing wrote: »

Corelli,

I know this is a very tough time for you, but I just wanted to say thank you from me.

I was very depressed as a teenager, with suicide attempts and so on. My parents did not want to know. When, after a number of years, I admitted myself into hospital my father refused to speak about. To this day, they never mention it or discuss it. I know times were different then but I still don't understand why they didn't try to help me. I thought daily suicidal thoughts and all the despairing feelings were normal, even had them on my wedding day (nothing to do with husband). Now I still have them sometimes but because I understand that I can ride them out.

You have no idea what a gift it is to have a complete day without these thoughts.

I firmly believe that if somebody had intervened earlier (when I was too young and ill to help myself; and no internet), I could have had a much better quality of life and then I could have helped relieve the suffering of others more effectively and sooner.

I am put off going to America because of my diagnosis, but I have never actually looked into whether it is an issue or not. I only got my official diagnosis recently; it was a relief to be honest because it lets me compartmentalise my life and take a bit longer to deal with my impulses/reactions when they don't fit within a scale of 'normal' behaviour.

Whitewing, that is such a sad story. You say you do not understand your parents' lack of help, their avoiding of your problems. Perhaps they were just plain frightened of the implications.

Parents of children with mental health issues go through some pretty in depth investigations. I do not know how long ago you are talking about but how it has been for us in the last couple of years is that we have been stripped of emotional privacy and our house is full of professionals on a regular basis.

The people doing this have a general rule all been very nice and not been antagonistic but we've had to talk about and analyse past pains and difficult situations in depth, everything.

If they had any inkling of this and hoped you would get better without any professional input then I can understand but not condone what they did. Perhaps they feared being held to blame, or even looking at it more kindly, feared that if you got a 'label' then your future life could be more difficult. As indeed I have been worrying for my son.

If you really want to know and feel that a discussion could be fruitful, why not ask them straight out why they did not get you help when you were younger. I would expect some guilt coming into play on their part making it a hard conversation. Not a conversation I would relish with either of my children but clearing up these areas 'that we do not talk about' can be very painful but in the end very good for a relationship.

Cx

Corelli

Just in case anyone wondered 'what happened in the end' my boy stayed as an inpatient for 7 months. He benefited a lot and came out a lot more robust but there are a LOT of critiscisms to be made of the unit he was in. Mainly down to lack of communication amongst the staff.

His place at school did not work out, he was able to attend so rarely that they decided to refer him to a local place - I'm not sure how to describe it - half is a PRU but the other half takes on youngsters who need to be elsewhere from mainstream school for a variety of medical type issues, not behavioural issues. He never managed to get there either so now we have a tutor coming here. The idea is for him to do his GCSE's with them but much of the time he will not/can not engage with the tutor.

However, as we have now exhausted all the LA has to offer and it is seen that the tutor visiting and my boy hiding in his bedroom is far from ideal. With the approval of all the professionals involved we have started a request for a statement naming a particular independant residential school that specialises in working with young people with Asperger's Syndrome.

Doubtless this will be turned down but we are ready to appeal and every one has said they will write reports in support of this.

It will be good if he can get in a couple of years there before his years of compulsory education finish, and I am fairly hopeful but not 100% confident.

geoffky

Corelli wrote: »

Thanks everyone,

I am not concerned about him going in as such, I was worried particularly about him going to America which is his dream. After googling I've not found anything that particularly states a person with mental health issues in their past will not get a visa. So all that is left is a sadness that it has come to this again.

He had ten months as an inpatient last year and although he protested about it, everyone including himself could see that he benefited from it.

So yes, I can see reasoning with him about this will not work. Next week we have the assessments from the independant people, probably Tuesday if they are available so it won't be long now. Unless my boy can somehow manage to go to the day centre.

Its not easy getting to be inside a mental health unit. I hear of people ending up there by terrible errors on the part of professionals but our own experience is anything but.

I saw another boy, totally losing it, really manic and suicidal and we called an ambulance for him, expecting the paramedics would take him to a place where he would be safe and looked after but when he refused to go they had no power to make him go with them. The paramedics were brilliant, talking to him for ages and one afterwards said she had similar experiences with her own family.

Then another experience of someone I know very well, he was very depressed, drinking a lot and on the edge of killing himself. He managed to get himself to A&E where they refused to take him in. They said that if he had the sense to get to A&E he was not really a danger to himself. After that he did get regular counselling and daily visits from community psychiactric nurses daily

And here is why the paramedics could not make him go...

http://www.academia.edu/1492917

T he death of Kerrie Wooltorton in Norfolk, England,

And regarding his education,Those who shout the loudest get listened to first..Same as the nhs.

Brewstersmum

Corelli wrote: »

Just in case anyone wondered 'what happened in the end' my boy stayed as an inpatient for 7 months. He benefited a lot and came out a lot more robust but there are a LOT of critiscisms to be made of the unit he was in. Mainly down to lack of communication amongst the staff.

His place at school did not work out, he was able to attend so rarely that they decided to refer him to a local place - I'm not sure how to describe it - half is a PRU but the other half takes on youngsters who need to be elsewhere from mainstream school for a variety of medical type issues, not behavioural issues. He never managed to get there either so now we have a tutor coming here. The idea is for him to do his GCSE's with them but much of the time he will not/can not engage with the tutor.

However, as we have now exhausted all the LA has to offer and it is seen that the tutor visiting and my boy hiding in his bedroom is far from ideal. With the approval of all the professionals involved we have started a request for a statement naming a particular independant residential school that specialises in working with young people with Asperger's Syndrome.

Doubtless this will be turned down but we are ready to appeal and every one has said they will write reports in support of this.

It will be good if he can get in a couple of years there before his years of compulsory education finish, and I am fairly hopeful but not 100% confident.

glad your boy is doing ok Corelli

just a quick thought regarding education, as he is now over 14 he is entitled to be educated in the 14 - 19 provision. if he doesn't or cant go to school/college, there are some good free online things that he can do for core subjects like literacy and numeracy. I work in this provision with boys who have left school at 11 or 12, often expelled. if you need any help feel free to drop me a PM

Corelli

geoffky wrote: »

And here is why the paramedics could not make him go...

http://www.academia.edu/1492917

T he death of Kerrie Wooltorton in Norfolk, England,

And regarding his education,Those who shout the loudest get listened to first..Same as the nhs.

Thanks for this, I was aware of issues of consent but not seen case law.

Corelli

Brewstersmum wrote: »

glad your boy is doing ok Corelli

just a quick thought regarding education, as he is now over 14 he is entitled to be educated in the 14 - 19 provision. if he doesn't or cant go to school/college, there are some good free online things that he can do for core subjects like literacy and numeracy. I work in this provision with boys who have left school at 11 or 12, often expelled. if you need any help feel free to drop me a PM

Thanks so much for the support. We are hoping that he will have some time before he gets to 19 to be in an establishment that meets his needs. We will indeed have to shout loudly, we live in a very impoverished area and our LA do not really have these sorts of funds.

I have suggested these sorts of online activities to him already but he will not do it. The outreach tutors had thought about offering him a Virtual Learning Environment but have already observed that he responds to talking to people rather than doing it via a screen on his own. So they have decided it is not suitable for him. We used to home educate and if he had the motivation I could provide him with loads of resources ... but it's finding a way of motivating and encouraging him ... so far we and all the professionals have not found a way of doing so.

There have been some extremely good therapists and tutors etc. involved with him, despite some critiscisms I have of both hospitals I am overall very grateful for the help we have recieved

esmf73

Corelli, unfortunately you will have to make a fuss to get what he needs. I know, you've not got any energy left with what you go through daily, but if you try then you will find some. I am speaking from experience. Have you heard of pathological demand avoidance? Does this sound familiar? Head to pdaresource.com on the web. Hugs, I know how hard it is. X

Corelli

Like your sig esmf73! I have heard of PDA through this forum and have wondered. I don't think it applies here though. We have a case of such extreme anxiety that he sort of freezes up. It is so tempting to think that a bit of 'firm parenting' would be the answer but he just retreats more.

It is nice to get an answer from someone who has an equally stressful family life. I've been extremely down recently, seriously end it all sort of down and got sent to a most delightful psychiatrist who could emphathise as he has a 14 year old son on the spectrum.

I am feeling supported from your hugs, and from everyone else who has taken time to offer support and share their own stories. Thanks again.

Corelli

Happy New Year to anyone who was following this thread. I'm coming back to update with quite positive news. After another year of such extreme anxiety that my son could not meet with his tutors, or go out to see his psychiatrist, getting so down he was cutting himself his life seems to have changed very much for the better.

Thanks to a persistent psychiatrist who would not give up with him (I went to his appointments instead), home visits from a psychologist, and appropriate medication being found he has been to the small school unit for children with medical issues all week. Twice he cycled in by himself, it was an extraordinary feeling to say goodbye to him as he left to go to school. Today he is out with some of the other pupils. Doing ordinary teenage things, going to a film and hanging out together.

I was so despairing previously, and now life really does seem to be improving for him and so for us, his parents. Next September he will be going to college and it really seems like it could work out for him.

BitterAndTwisted

Oh dear, something seems to have got into my eyes.

So happy for you Corelli, and so happy for your son, too.