Real-life MMD: Pet dog or doghouse?



  • janineo
    janineo Posts: 56 Forumite
    This has probably been said before, but dogs can live a long time.

    We got a dog when I was 10. My younger sister was the one who wanted it, and it took me about 6 months before I was comfortable with him.
    He was a rescue dog, a mongrel, and became part of the family.
    However, being children, we didn't want to walk him every day, and my parents set up a rota to try and avoid arguments about it.

    And then we grew up and went to university or moved out of the family home and my mum ended up doing all the walking. It was something she liked doing, but it could have been a problem if she was unwilling or unable to do this.

    When I was 27, he finally died after having a stroke. We were all very sad, but I hadn't lived at home for nearly 10 years at that point.

    So seriously think about getting a dog, because it really isn't for Christmas. It could be for the best part of 20 years, and it might not be your son that looks after him.
  • purple.sarah
    purple.sarah Posts: 2,517 Forumite
    First Anniversary First Post Combo Breaker
    Don't get a dog unless you are agreed upon it as a family because it will be a family pet and responsibility. Your son won't be paying the vets bills! You do need to talk to your family about this, not strangers on the internet. Your wife is an adult and should have an equal say in the household finances, tell her you were saving for a holiday and see what she says. Look at your budget together and work out whether you can afford the regular expenses of pet ownership. Check how much responsibility she would take for walking the dog etc. Once you have come to an agreement, you can talk to your son together.
  • BNT wrote: »
    They are married, so I don't think 'his' and 'her' money is relevant.

    This attitude really annoys me. Why do some people think there's a rule that married couples MUST have joint finances for everything? If you both work and you both pay your share of the bills, then what's wrong with having some money of your own to spend on yourself and your partner/family as you choose?

    As to the question itself, I'm noticing a trend recently with more and more of these MMDs being very personal and not really 'moral' dilemmas at all. We can give you our opinions on what it's like to have a dog and so on, but not a single person here can tell you what will work for YOUR family! So, no comment from me.
  • A holiday is for a few days - a dog is for years and can be a tie, but responsible ownership is extremely rewarding, particularly if you do as many others and visit an animal rescue centre, where individual dogs can be matched to suitable owners. It's much less expensive than buying a pedigree, and some breeds are more prone to illness than others, leading to costly vet bills.

    If I were you, I'd go along with your wife's preference, as this will make the three of you happy in the long run. Taking a holiday might, by the sound of it, make you happy and ease your conscience, but it's a very short-term solution and it will not solve the problem of making your son very happy for a long time.
  • freddy27
    freddy27 Posts: 58 Forumite
    Go for the holiday. Dogs at the end of the day are a damn nuisance and cost a lot more than a holiday.:beer:
  • BNT
    BNT Posts: 2,788 Forumite
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker
    This attitude really annoys me. Why do some people think there's a rule that married couples MUST have joint finances for everything? If you both work and you both pay your share of the bills, then what's wrong with having some money of your own to spend on yourself and your partner/family as you choose?

    There is no rule that married couple must have joint finances; if anyone has told you that he has misinformed you. The law is that assets belong to the couple, but that is not the same as having joint finances.

    There is nothing wrong with having some money of one's own to spend as one chooses. However, this is not some money. In the context, this is a significant amount of money that one person is saving secretly (albeit with good intentions) and which is preventing them as a couple from discussing whether they should buy something for their son.
  • A dog is a living being, not an object to consider buying as a present. This should never have been brought up for discussion. You should not be comparing a living, feeling being with a holiday or any other material possession. Don't get the dog, if you can't see this you are not worthy of having such a precious soul.
  • JayD
    JayD Posts: 698 Forumite
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Post
    Oh Lordy! If you are going to get a dog - whether it be now or later - you can say goodbye to any holidays abroad and to staying in many places in the UK too.

    Me? I value holidays over the commitments of pets.

    I had years of bieng held back because I had a dog - trying to find people to look after it if I was going to be out of the house for anything more than a few hours at a time.

    That was hard enough but going away - even for just an overnight stay was much worse. Going to any friend or family occasion was a nightmare and yes, then there is the never ending costs.

    I say take the holiday - this year and every year!
  • If he has not already got a pet why not start him off with some stick insects to see if he can look after pets? They are cheap (starter kit under a tenner) and no other costs.
    If successful then a dog can be considered,if not then you have the answer. Whichever way you should have had the holiday before the decision has to be made.
  • First thing is find out if your son is committed by getting him to do some dogwalking for either a rescue centre or elderly people etc. He could actually earn money doing this. I was not allowed a dog when I was at home and this is what I did.
    Next is to find out why he and your wife want a dog. If it is because they genuinely love all dogs and don't mind what kind of dog they get then I would be more inclined to agree.
    I, currently, have two dogs. The older one is a huge committment as she needs lots of vet visits, physiotherapy, acupuncture, hydrotherapy etc. Most of this is covered by her insurance but I still have to take her to all these appointment. Her insurance is £69 per month. The younger one has a lifetime disease and needs similar care.
    Are your family prepared for all of this? If so get yourself down the rescue centre and get a dog!
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