'supporting each other through really tough times'

[Deleted User]

FUDDLE there are some things in life that can't be altered or changed and I think your Mum might be one of them. Many years ago I was having similar problems with mine that couldn't be resolved. No matter what I did, it was the wrong thing, she drank but not really heavily, just enough to make her unpredictable. She fell in with a group of people that I didn't feel safe with let alone the girls on the odd occasion that we came into comtact with them. The final straw came for me, and it was at that point that I severed all contact and have maintained it to this day,when she proudly announced that she was giving our name and address to anyone who lived in our area that she came into contact with in her job as a crazy golf booth attendant with the local authority as she thought they would like to come to us for coffee and telling down and outs that we would give them a bed for the night!!!!! The girls were 8 and 2 at the time, it was the stuff of nightmares. I made the cut for our sakes not hers as I came to the realisation that nothing would ever be any different no matter how hard I tried. She did try to contact us a few times, but not for many years now, and I must confess I don't know if she is still alive or not. I still feel guilty to this day, but I know that it was the right decision, I hate to even consider what might have happened had I not done so!! Cheers Lyn xxx.

Cheapskate

Oh MrsL, what a thing to feel guilty about! You're always telling us lot how well we do, but that's a big burden to carry all this time. I'm sure you did the right thing, too. You've gone up in my estimation even further!

A xo

mardatha

I had a very unpredictable mum who drank too Mrs L. Makes you tougher doesn't it!

elona

Softstuff

You don't need a "talking to" pet - you need a chance to rest and be good to yourself and not to do yourself down. Even when DH gets "the look" it is because I am trying not to get down and burst into tears of worry and panic myself. So the "We can and will do this" is as much to myself as it is to him. It is a bit like "if I did not laugh I would cry" .

If it really is darkest just before the dawn then it is shaping up for some beautiful mornings eventually

Mrs L

You had to safeguard your children and put them first and you know that really you had no other choice at the time. Even now you still could find she is a danger to you all without realising it.

McCulloch

I am so sorry for the loss of your friend but glad that you had her in your life.

Hardup_Hester

Hugs to those with alcohol dependent rellies, half my in laws are the same & the other half refuse to see/admit it & constantly make excuses. I shield hubby from the worst of it, the in laws don't like me, they think I'm being difficult, & I am, but I know how much hubby can cope with & will protect him as much as I can.
Hester

[Deleted User]

Bless your little heart CHEAPSKATE I wanted to share that with Fuddle to let her know she doesn't suffer alone, I had no choice and don't go thinking I'm riddled with guilt, I made a very hard decision but I know in my heart that not making it would have been even harder. I'm a tough old birdie, and as Mar says from experience, things like that do toughen you up but that doesn't mean you can't still care about anyone else who has a problem that hurts them and makes them unhappy. If I can say or do anything to change how they feel or change the situation I do it willingly because I care about people, thank you for caring about me, Cheers Lyn xxx.

ELONA thanks m'dear, she doesn't know where we live and I've severed all ties with anyone back where we came from, I don't worry so much now as the girls are both out in the world and independent and I've made sure they are more than able to look after themselves too, Thanks Lyn xxx.

mardatha

My nearest butcher has lamb for stewing at £5.50 lb - is that dear or about average?

[Deleted User]

MAR it's a really good price, I haven't bought even neck of lamb for a very long time as it is so expensive. I always find that surprising as sheep are the one animal that only need to graze most of the time, they are the least mucked about of our farm animals and possibly the most expensive, it's a mystery why, yes? Cheers Lyn xxx.

mardatha

I know, and there are so many of the bloody things - they outnumber the humans up here ten times over!

Nargleblast

Jumping off the lurkers' bus for a moment......all your tales of family problems and stresses have struck a chord with me, as I could tell a few tales of issues in my own family and amongst the people I come into contact with at work.

I came to the conclusion some time ago that my first priority in life has to be me, because if I don't look after myself first, I would be neither use nor ornament to anyone else. With that in mind, I would like to share with you some words of wisdom that might help...

The Rights Charter

I have the right to be treated with respect as an equal human being
I have the right to acknowledge my needs as being equal to those of others
I have the right to express my opinions, thoughts and feelings
I have the right to make mistakes
I have the right to choose not to take responsibility for other people
I have the right to be me without being dependent on the approval of others.

(Holland, Ward and Whitbread 1990)