The granny thread

[Deleted User]

Thank you all for your replies. I have to admit that I am apprehensive re the loss of free time but there`s no question of me helping on a daily basis while they are at work. I volunteered so that they didn`t have to ask me

I was the oldest of 7 and had 3 children so much of my life has involved babycare. I was looking forward to flitting off here, there and everywhere but I can put that on hold for now. They need me for a while

The cabriofix car seat and easyfix base came today. By golly they are sturdy. When I think how we all drove around with a baby carrycot strapped on the back seat. I wouldn`t go back to those days

The sleeping postion answer was really interesting. I suppose the alternative to bedding is a sleeping bag

Immediate needs then so far (until sitting up when I have to add more)

steriliser
bottles
milk
changing mat
nappies
nappy sac
wipes
nappy cream
spare clothing

lol, I had forgotten: its all concerning either end or sleeping

I`m 60 in january and am counting on them not over-using us ie I will not be volunteering to babysit for their leisure time. We had no-one to turn to and we managed although it was difficult at times so they will have to manage in out-of-work times. I think that`s fair

[Deleted User]

This thread
http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=425697
is a replica of my thread on the families thread but it might be better on here

I am calling on any child-minding granny to give me some hints and tips about helping and coping. Please

southwestmaid

Congratulations Kitty! I look after my 7 month old grandaughter 3 days a week and there is nothing like it, I really love it.

I can't think of anything else to add to the list of things you will need, we seem to have got everything here that my daughter has at her place. I do find the folding high chair I've got handy so that I can put it away when we don't need it. I've not bought anything new, I've managed to borrow things from family including a cot and travel cot which I use as a playpen, again it folds away when not in use. I bought some brilliant toys at boot sales and ebay.

I'm sure your daughter will appreciate what you are doing and you will get so much enjoyment from your new grandchild.

smileypigface

Your 'physical' preparations seem very thorough and you've clearly spent a lot of time thinking it all through .. the advice I have is based on my experience as a mum (not a grandmother yet .. thank goodness as my eldest is only 16!! Hope I've got another 15 years yet ... at least!!!! )

My parents didn't look after any of my children full time, just the usual weekend stuff and evening babysitting - which was lovely for the children to spend time with their grandparents and great for us parents to be able to go out on our own every now and then. However, we had lots of 'falling out' over the fact that my parents would do things that I didn't want them to do .. allow bad behaviour to go unchecked, feed foods that I didn't want them to have, cart them around distant relatives to "show" them (trophy grandchildren!) - it all sounds very petty now - and to be fair, my parents point of view is probably that I am too controlling. However, at the time I felt that as a parent I would wish to be 'backed up' by the rest of the family and for the children to have consistency.

I think now, with the benefit of a bit of maturity, that I was too controlling, to be fair, particularly as my parents weren't full time carers of my gang - but at the time it all seemed very important to me, particularly with my first baby. There was one incident when they kindy stepped in and looked after my eldest when she couldn't go to nursery because of a tummy bug. I had taken her to the doctor and been told to starve her for 24 hours and then to offer only water and bland food the following day. I'd had a day off with her for the 'starving' day and my parents had her the following day with instructions to give her weetabix with water for breakfast then beans on toast for lunch. When I rang at lunchtime my mother told me they thought I was wrong and had fried (yes ... FRIED) her some fishfingers for lunch ... which she really enjoyed .. but had then been sick all afternoon again!!!!!!!!!!!! GRRRRRRRR! I was fuming - they thought they knew better and their actions resulted in the baby being ill for longer than necessary. As a result I didn't speak to my parents for a month or so, I was so mad :eek:

Now of course, I can see that she might have been ill after beans on toast - but it was the principal ... they thought they knew better so ignored what I wanted.

I know all families are different .. but I would thoroughly recommend that you sit down with the parents-to-be and make sure you are all absolutely in tune with what is acceptable and what the ground rules are. (Not suggesting for one second that you would ignore your daughter's views of course)

My children went to a nursery and I felt that I was able to influence my child's day as I was paying for a service to be provided the way I wanted it to be. I always felt my parents held it over me that they were doing me a favour and saving me money and therefore I should accept they were 'entitled' to do things their own way and only pay lip service to my wishes. Certainly when I was a registered childminder for a while when my middle one was a baby, I was very clear that, regardless of my views, I was being paid to represent the working parent in their absence and uphold their views and values to their child.

Sorry to ramble on ... hope you can find something useful in there!!!:D

I suppose my point is to talk it all through with the parents to be .. and make sure you all have the same expectations of how the situation will work.

jennifernil

Someone once told me that 1 grandmother hour = 4 regular hours!

i.e. if your daughter/son asks you to take grandchild while they pop out for an hour for some shopping, you can realistically expect them to return after 4 hours!

cha97michelle

My in-laws bought a cheap baby bath to keep at their house which was very handy for leaky nappy incidents, and saved running a full bath every time.

Also, see what toiletries they will use at home,so that they can use the same at yours. My baby is sensitive if we swap brands.

I would also highly recommend a 'gro-bag' (sleeping bag) as they really help baby to settle.

Also, we always take our bouncy chair when we visit as it is really good to sit him in to feed him, as well as a chair to keep him safe. Although, once he gets past 6 months and fully sitting up we will probably invest in one of the high chairs that are like a booster seat that straps onto a normal chair.

Congratulations.
Michelle

[Deleted User]

There are some really excellent ideas so far. The cheap bath one is excellent. I can store that in the bath.

Yes I will sit down with the parents but I think we`re pretty much in tune. Food etc is no problem as I always cook fresh and mostly organic. I expect good manners and behaviour etc and I am patient and remember all the nursery rhymes etc.

Thank you for your answers. Good prep is important to me, I`m a capricorn after all but I`ll be able to enjoy being grandma if I don`t have to think about the basics.

Spendless

kittie wrote: »

I`m 60 in january and am counting on them not over-using us ie I will not be volunteering to babysit for their leisure time. We had no-one to turn to and we managed although it was difficult at times so they will have to manage in out-of-work times. I think that`s fair

Have you told them this. I think it's fair too BTW.

liney

My mom has Ds for 2.5 days per week while i work. I know that he is getting the best possible care and is the next best thing to him being at home with mom, so i am very grateful to her. I would never ask her to babysit at any other time as i think she does more than enough, so i imagine your daughter will understand completely.

As far as equiptment goes - changing mat - travel cot - high chair - nappies and wipes to stay with you weekly - cot bedding and blankie - special toys for grandmas house only - spare clothes in a bag which travels as if you have special clothes they may never get worn, and then are grown out of.

Have fun both!

stefejb

first of all congratulations - it is wonderful being a nana. There is only a gap of 8 years between my younges dd and my dgs but i still foundthat a lot had changed. Probably the weirdest thing for you will be sleeping position - this changed between my two eldest dds and i never really got used to it having had it drummed into me that a baby sleeping on her back would be at risk from choking. I've been reading the good granny guide by jane fearnly wittingwotsit (hugh's mother) which i got from tesco - i've lent it out so i can't even give you the isbn but it's very good on equipment and suchlike that wouldn't have been around "back in the day". The parents are very lucky to have you and I think should show their appreciation by buying some of this equipment for you - after all having duplicates at yours saves them lugging it backwards and forwards.
have fun