Need a listening Ear

Lyndsay_21

I often feel very much like this, i have lots of friends but one really one best friend and she is single, no children so isn't really in the same position i am in.
I am quite friendly with some of the mums up the school but not enough to have 'proper' chats with or invite over.
I think when children are young it can be a really lonely time for mums/dads.

Psykicpup

I so Identify with these post....I felt exactly the same (crowded room etc) when the kids where small. I had my kids much younger than all my school, college & pub mates & gradually lost contact with them all. I am just starting to socialize with my work mates (after 3yrs:eek: !) & finally invited one round the other day.- not that you would know at work that we get on as we hardly speak but we natter away at least twice a week on MSN! I've met some nice people thru forums & mates of mates on MSN, & would recommend that if you find chatting aimlessly face hard like I do!
If anyone from above posts wants to PM me I will give you my MSN addy & we can meet up for a chat there sometime!:T
alot of my friends now are friends of my now adult kids (as I said I had mine when young so can get on really well with most of them) & work collegues..

bunty109

I really do appreciate how you feel. There are just days when your children are very young that you feel you can't switch out of being a mummy and would relish some proper (non OH) adult chat. Thinking about this, I had few friends locally until my youngest started nursery school (although I did work so I had friends there), but then I didn't work locally and hadn't long moved to the area. When my DD did start nursery, there were a lot of other mums with their first child going to school and we bonded really well. Yes, there are cliques, but there's always someone who you will getting chatting to you! I may be very fortunate, but 6 years on most of my closest friends are those I have made at the school/pre-school gates.

I've never done the mother and toddler thing as it never appealed to me; a bit too forced a way of making friends (IMO). However, I have taken my 2 sons to a messy play club and found this a really good way of meeting new people.

Recently I've also got involved with a book group. Some mums from school set it up and it's been a great way of ending up with some female company. A lot of book groups round my way were for more mature people (or seemed to consist of them), so we set our own up!! Maybe there's something similar around your way (ask at the local library)....if there isn't, maybe you could bite the bullet and put up some notices in your library to start one. It really needn't be highbrow reading you do, but the fact you are all chatting about something you have in common really breaks the ice and can lead to some interesting chatter (believe me, we ended up cackling over circumcision the other week!!!).

Not sure that's a help, but I really do understand how you feel and know from experience that with your eldest being 3, things should pick up on the meeting people front.

Spendless

Oh my goodness yes, why do you think my post count is so high :rotfl: . You're probably very restricted if both yours are pre-school age. I couple of years ago I enrolled at the womens centre (YWCA) and did a word processing course. It was free with a free creche and started me off on getting some qualifications back for when I do return to work. It also got me out of the house and gave me some adult conversation. I'm still at college nearly 2 years later, working round my daughters nursery hours now.

Have you had a look at netmums, I once met someone off there with her child and my youngest at a local park. I've also met some MSE members when it was discovered we didn't live that far away from each other and had children of similar ages.

I also used to have an evening job, not all of them are every night. See what's available in your area.

donny_osmonds_mad_fan

Hiya, I dont have any real female friends to be honest after always making the wrong friends etc I have given up. I just dont trust people, sad I know...my hubby is my best friend however it doesnt stop the loneliness I sometimes feel.

I did/do always enjoy work for the social side of it ie talking to other peole but am currently long term sick..but for the past few years I have had a fantastic hobby...it's called scrapbooking. There are many sites dedicated to it, you can do it around the kids and might meet local friends or go to local crops. It is a lovely way to create memory albums for the kids.

https://www.ukscrappers.co.uk has forums so you can talk to others too.

this is what a page looks like

yummymummyof2

thanks for all the replies.

my little girl is at nursery so i meet mums from there , but never really talk about anything more than the weather. and believe it or not i do run a mums chat group. but i still don't and haven't got close to anyone enough to really tlk to if u get my drift.

i did have a long chat with hubby last night. and although he not against me going to work he would prefer if i didn't. i can see his point. he said after working 10/12 hour days he wants to come home to me and spend time with me and kids. as it helps him through his day. he only working so much at mo as he has progressed up ladder at work and is now running job's. but he been given 2 jobs to run at mo cause they short staffed. but i so proud of what he's doing.

i do feel guilty at feeling lonely, but at least hubby understands a bit now.

1sttimer_2

It's good you've talked to your OH. I was like this many many moons ago (children adult now) even though I ran the parent & toddler group, took children to all the clubs they were interested in and joined any parents club/committees I never felt I really belonged. I used to be left out of meals out for some reason which knocked my self esteem down somewhat and I think I tried too hard. II used to think that I was not as clever as some of the other mums as they all seemed to have been to uni or a grammar school where I didn't. Im a church member and I look as that as my extended family and there is plenty going on there, but only 1 person whom I could call my 'friend' to invite for coffee etc. I have 1 friend from school/work (35 years ago) who I meet most often but she works ft and is a single mum with not a lot of spare cash so it's hard for her to go out too many times.

I work for my OH and in an office where I am the only staff so it's lonely there too. I've joined a slimming group, a gym (in the past) and am at a computer course and although I talk to people from them, I don't class any of them 'friends'.

OH and I rarely go out until I decided to join my BIL's quiz team and then my hubby joined me and now that's a regular night out.

I'm also like you where I had everything, 2 great kids, a great home, and lots of interests but allways felt lonely. I view things a little different now, although nothing much has changed in that I still feel on my own, I now go out by myself shopping/coffee etc and face the fact that my life is what I make it and I can relax about it.

So cheer up YMof2, this feeling will pass and just keep yourself immersed in your children's lives. You may get to make new friends along the way and as someone says, you are never alone if you can get on line here and chat to someone. This is something I never had until 2 years ago (talk about being behind the times LOL).

Take care :grouphug:

Pink_butterfly_3

I really do know how you feel!

Can I suggest https://www.netmums.com - they have a local 'meet a mum' board where you can meet other mums in your area who are in exactly the same position as you. I have met lots of lovely people via that site.