Am I wrong to be angry?

VestanPance

She's show what type of person she really is, you are better off without cheats and liars in your life.

bluebird1878

mrs_sparrow wrote: »

My opinion?

She has lied because she is ashamed of being weak. Ashamed that after everything she admitted to you she has gone back to him.

I have been in this exact situation after a friend told me her husband beat her, she got a solicitor, an injunction etc... then a week later let him move back in and then a few months later she was pregnant again by him.

Some people are just weak, they have an addiction to people who treat them badly and they are hooked on negative attention.

The hard decision is to sit back and to have to let them make the sam mistakes again. Sometimes though, after going back, they actually do realise why they left them in the first place as it is not long before the true colours start seeping out. Do not say 'I told you so' as this will make them feel worse, you have to help them realise that life can go on without this bad person in their lives. Whether you can do that depends on you but I absolutely get where you are coming from - especially when you have given up so much of your time and life to help someone, it's almost as if they are throwing it back in your face.

I think you just need to say 'I do know and if you need my help, I am there for you' and leave it there. At least she will not feel trapped in a dire situation and has someone to turn to.

However, if you did all of this because you have feelings for her that go beyond friendship, you really need to back off and not get involved as it will eat you up and you'll end up hurting over it.

:)This, is definetly not the case!!!! I guess i just have values that i have been bought up to respect others and value true friendship? Anyhow, thanks all for your kind words and advice, i have decided that i am going to take a step back and lessen the contact with her for a bit and let her do as she wants. Also, if anyone thinks that i am maybe being a bit too touchy and involved, i should have explained, that the last time he left she called me at work telling me she couldnt take no more and wanted to end things, then basically hung up, wouldnt answer the phone so i ended up driving 30 miles as i couldnt get hold of her family only to find her in a right state with a bottle and pills... i just dont want her to go through that again!
anyway, i will leave it at that now and just let it play out!

pearl123

Old Burton and Liz Taylor went back to each other three times and there was plenty of booze, drugs and pills consummed. They could not live with each other, but it still was a great love affair.

londonsurrey

bluebird1878 wrote: »

the last time he left she called me at work telling me she couldnt take no more and wanted to end things, then basically hung up, wouldnt answer the phone so i ended up driving 30 miles as i couldnt get hold of her family only to find her in a right state with a bottle and pills... i just dont want her to go through that again!

^^^ this points to irresponsible drama llama

Apparently, she's not grown up enough to say that she's gutted, and really needed someone to be with her, please.

To her, it's more acceptable to throw a dramatic wobbly, hang up, refuse to answer the phone, but deign to answer the door when said friend has panicked and driven for miles.

Jinx

I have a friend who does the on/off thing with a really crappy boyfriend. I used to support her and listen to her tales of woe but after the 2nd merry-go-round I now make non-commital noises about them splitting. I dont talk about him at all as I know in minutes theyll be back together.

Shes denying all because she is embarassed and mortified - she probably told you way too much and really slated him and knows you will think shes mad after all she said.

ktb

londonsurrey wrote: »

^^^ this points to irresponsible drama llama.

Love this^^^ !! :rotfl:

There was a girl in my group of friends who was in a relationship that really wasn't working. For 18 months, our conversations were totally dominated by her woes and we all offered our advice (as you do) which she would promptly totally ignore, even though she was miserable. She broke up with him... went back to him... blah blah blah. We were very sympathetic to start with but it's just plain wearing after a few months. I also didn't trust her - her stories just never quite added up.

Eventually i'd just had enough and stopped seeing her. That was 3.5 years ago and I haven't missed her for even a second in that time. She was a selfish, mood hoover and I am no longer being a martyr in her company. Everyone's a winner.

londonsurrey

ktb wrote: »

selfish, mood hoover

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl: