Family Budget

Miss_Bolan

Riversong wrote: »

So you and your wife/hubby earn the same wage. Put half towards all bills each month. But say your OH has less 'free money' at the end of it. So thats money to spend how they want, on whatever. The reason they have less is due to child maintenance, debt from before you got together. You yourself have no debts or child maintenance to pay.

Would you equally split what was left over between you. Is it tough on them for having these outgoings? Or how would 'free money' be divided with you?

Hi Riversong - I am pretty much in this situation, and obviously I would say it depends on the strength of the relationship, and the trust in the relationship. In my mind when you live together/get married and make that step to becomg a partnership that is what you are, warts and all! On a practical level I just don't see how it works if one person has financial commitments and is left with nothing at the end of the month, but their partner has plenty of 'spends' left. What happens if you are invited somewhere but it costs money, does one of you go and one of your stay home?! Seems an odd definition of a 'relationship' to me. Also, what happens if one of you loses your job? Does your partner keep a tab of what they owe?!? (you may think I am exaggerting, but I know someone who had a relationship in which this actually happened-funnily enough it didn't work out!)

Having said that, I suppose if there is plenty of money kicking about and it's just a matter of who has the 'most' money to spend this would be different. But I just can't get my head around this idea of partners who treat their income seperately.

Also I have stepchildren, and I married my husband knowing that - they are my family, not just 'his' children (crazy to me that people think like this!)

ska_lover

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

I would treat his pre existing commitments as HIS commitments.

Otherwise it's not him paying for his own child or his own spending - she's paying for them too.

Money stays separate, as far as I'm concerned. Household expenses for this home, this electric, this gas, this food, are joint. Beer money, hobbies, fags, spliffs, lap dances, other pastimes and things that are not part of running the current house are the responsibility of the person that incurred them.

Exactly my thoughts.

OP you are getting Mugged off!!

ska_lover

FBaby wrote: »

Why are some people on this forum insisting that sharing all finances are the right thing to do morally? This isn't right for everyone. The only thing that is right is what both party agree to.

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I agree, on these forums there is a lot of insinuating that if you aren't sharing all your finances in a joint account, you are somehow less of a couple.

Seriously, I would hate to feel subsidised by my OH if, say, he was earning more than me, so paid more into the household. I am an independant woman - He is an independant Man. If either of us want more money, we work for it, not expect the other to subsidise.