Family Budget

Rebecca01

lowlitmemory wrote: »

That'd be completely different surely as the child would be both of yours. In this case the child is the husband's non-resident child, not his partner's child.

Personally, we don't have any pre-existing debts or commitments, so it was easy enough to share everything. I genuinely don't know how I'd feel in the case outlined in the OP.

Yes I see that if she left for maternity, but its still about sharing. What if she was made redundant and she had no money but he still had his.

I think its down to each couple though. However I couldnt be in a relationship where we didnt share money, bills etc

maman

Rebecca01 wrote: »

I think its down to each couple though. However I couldnt be in a relationship where we didnt share money, bills etc

Agree it's an individual choice. personally I couldn't cope with a partner who expected me to pay his debts for him. However, if I was to offer.....

DuckEggGingham

We just have one bank account ( apart from savings etc but then even they are joint!,) everything goes in there and we pay our bills via DD and then shop/live through the month together. There is no "that amount is his and this amount is mine" its just ours. If we were to do a big purchase we chat about it as we go about our day, we are always both aware of what is in there.

It literally is what is his is mine and what is mine is his! Maybe I am doing it all wrong? lol

masonsmum

I live with my partner and we have a son together plus I have a son from a previous relationship who my OH treats as his own. I only work part time so earn less than half of what my OH earns but all our money and tax credits etc are put into one joint account.

When I was in my previous relationship again I worked part time as I couldnt work any more hours due to childcare issues but I had my account and he had his account but I was still expected to contribute to half of the household bills, holidays etc and therefore never ever had anything for myself and OH always had money for himself but me or his son never saw any of that! Thank God Im not in that situation now, so glad my partner and I share everything!

*Beki*

I think as soon as children are involved it becomes a different scenario, and hopefully money should have been discussed in the whole family planning conversation!

My partner and I have a joint account which we both pay the same amount into every month to cover rent/bills/gym membership and then whatever we each have left is ours to spend individually. He earns more than me, so will pay for dinner out more often but he would never pay off any debts I incurred, nor I for him (unless they were due to a joint spend on say, a new sofa, or something).

Tiglath

We just view all income and outgoings as joint, although I earn about £10k more. All bills except the car are handled by me, and DH transfers a set amount to me each month so we have equal spending money when all required outgoings are paid. I paid half of the maintenance for my stepchildren for 14 years, and I didn't resent it because they're family.

martinsurrey

When you married him, he took all your baggage, and you his, some of his just happens to be financial, and I assume you knew about it before you married.

Just like everyone here would expect him to help you deal with some emotional trauma from before you married (and not just say “well its from before we met so I don’t care, you can deal with it alone”), his financial past is now part of your financial future.

So I would do any split AFTER looking at this

Just the way I see it and marriage...

seashore22

WestonDave wrote: »

Don't ask me! We practice the strange quaint practice of having one joint account and whatever is left is spent as we agree. We have some discussions about financial priorities but I don't think we've had any real arguments about money.

In the example you give, if you are together then the child maintenance (and those children) are part of you as a couple, not just theirs - in my view which I suspect is these days a minority view!

As someone else has already said, definitely this.

I hope this doesn't sound too soppy, but when we got married we became a unit. That meant combining our money too. I don't think it crossed our minds to do it any other way. If either of us wants to buy something, and we can afford it, then we will get it. I think most of our friends and family would say the same thing.

Having said that we came to marriage with no previous marriages or children. That probably makes it easier to manage.

Sorry, op. I know that isn't much help to you.

kloana

We earn the same amount of money, but I pay more than half of the bills. On our paydays, I settle the bills, keep a very small amount spare for me, and give my OH a larger amount, which is always fixed, no matter who earns what, or what costs what. In turn, whenever we have a day/night out, he pays 100%. He also pays 100% of our holiday spending money (I pay for travel and accommodation only). If anything goes wrong around the house and we need to fix/replace anything, he also does that. It works out just about right, for us.

FBaby

Why are some people on this forum insisting that sharing all finances are the right thing to do morally? This isn't right for everyone. The only thing that is right is what both party agree to.

My partner and I earn the same income, but we have very different outgoings. My partner has a company car so no car related expenses, and a company phone. He also gets a annual bonus. I get none of that and have many children related expenses. On this basis, we have agreed to put all our expenses together, and then divide in two what is left over so we have the same amount of disposible income. This means that he pays more towards the bills than I. I transfer my part to his account and he pays all the joint bills.

We are both people who are value being financially independent due mainly to issues with previous partners. This doesn't mean we share everything half and half or that the amounts are fixed. We divided our income on the basis that I received no maintenance from my children's dad because I normally don't, but when he has for a few months, we haven't readjusted our contributions. Similarly, we haven't counted in his work bonuses. He usually tends to pay for meals out, but not always, I normally pay for outings that we do for the benefit of my children, but he normally insists on paying half. If at any time we felt one was left with much more disposable income than the other, than we were review it. It might seem odd for some, but it works well for both of us and that's what matters.

If one of us had debts from before getting together, I am pretty sure we would both agree that it needed to come out of the owner's disposable income, but then again, it might depend on what it was for and how much the payments are.