Help - My Brother's 15 yo kid is in some trouble

lou34_2

There doesn't sound like there's a quick and easy solution. From personal experience I can only suggest the school nurse.In my case a team was pulled together, had links to the doctors and social worker and actually tried to help. Things weren't fixed immediately but it got communications rolling.

floss2

Get a GP appointment - ask for a double one - and detail everything to them and ask for their help with regard to his behaviour & any psychological support, maybe asking for an urgent referral to CaMHS.

dancingfairy

This might sound stupid but can't he be removed/take himself off to a quiet room (with a counsellor if necessary) to calm down?
I wonder also whether the gym would help - something after school to take out all that anger and frustration that must be building up?
I'm afraid I don't know much about the appeals process and getting him the right help though. Does the school have a special needs person (SENCO) or a counsellor or anyone you can get help from?
Best of Luck
df

whitewing

Could you try home schooling so that he is at least getting some education.

Maybe connexions will be able to help.

FatVonD

Not much help in the short term but an old friend had a boyfriend (younger than her) who was getting into trouble with the Police stealing cars etc. He was sent on a programme where he helped out fixing up cars for banger racing. Maybe you could channel your nephew's interests into something similar to keep him busy and allow him to tinker with cars?

RAS

Hi

Have the parents demanded post adoption support from the LA? Not asked nicely - demanded.

Also have they read up on foetal alcohol syndrome? Just to check as he is the youngest? People with that need very little booze or drugs to lose all sense of danger and tend to have no memory of their actions once they are sobered up.

daska

Re the situation with the school, may I suggest that they contact IPSEA. Ironically, the fact that it has got as far as exclusion may itself be evidence that the lad was not getting appropriate support.

The other person I would contact with immediate effect is the lad's consultant. How long is it since he had his medication reviewed etc?

Surely there should be support from SS as the children are fostered - but with SS it is those who shout loudest and longest who get heard.

I'm really not up to speed with which organisations offer support to those with ADHD but, on the basis that any enquiry might lead to a helpful suggestion it's probably worth putting in calls to any that offer a contact number. Just had a look and found ADISS

RAS

The kids are adopted, not fostered so SS will have washed their hands of them.

mrs_sparrow

Just wanted to add my piece here as my son as ADHD as it's been a massive fight - one that is nowhere near over.

First off - really - why is the boy going out? He should be at home - sorry if no-one agrees with that, he is a vunerable young person and one that can easily be taken advantage of. Most people with ADHD will also have another form of ASD. Have you spoken to Social Services about getting some help?

Get a proper diagnosis for when you get back to court! Sadly you do not have much time. Not sure where you are in the country but google 'private paediatrician +autism'. I found a good one by doing this, the list of their specialised areas came up and I found one that specialised in ADHD and Spectrum Disorders and then I called, explained that the NHS were not dfoing anything and made an appointment. They will tell you that you need to be referred.

Once you have done this, call your GP and ask them to refer you and they will fax the private doctor, once the referral ties up they will confirm the appointment and often see you quicker. We got ours within a week.

Sadly you will need to pay - we paid £200 for ours, if you go via the NHS you will be waiting AT LEAST 6 months to be seen and you do not have this time if a court case if going to be looming. We have been waiting 4 years for my son's assessment. We are 'lucky' as he is only 9. You do not have this time as once your lad becomes an adult he will have even less chance of help.

Does the lad already have a paediatrician? Is he medicated? What help do you get for him? When was the med reviewed? Things can chage quickly if they are not on top of the medication.

My son is medicated, school would be hell otherwise and he struggles and yes, I do not think school would have him without it. It is sad but yes, they do not want children there that are disruptive and hard to manage.

Sadly statements are long way back in the past - especially for kids with ADHD - and yes my opinion is schools do not want kids with ADHD (I have even been told this by 2 schools). Because it takes at least 6 months to get a statement sorted they'll not be bothering as he will soon be out of their hands. There will be some very good schools in the area that have a support base, these are few and far between though but maybe you can find one nearby. if he gets in, sthe LEA will have to pay for a taxi.

What has your solicitor said in regards to the ADHD and the charges against your son?

You could also consider going to a private child physchologist for your report. CAHMS will not see you this side of Easter. You can then get a report to give to the court. ADHD makes someone very impulsive so they act first without realising the implications of their actions.

You are not going to get any help from the NHS within the next 6-12 months. We was supposed to be seen in July - not even had the appointment yet.... It's October now. The NHS are letting our kids with spectrum disorders down, as are the doctors and the teachers. It's just shameful.

I don't know if this has not been much help but you do need to get this sorted quite quickly. Your solicitor should have recommended some of this stuff already. I'd be looking at whether he has some form of Aspergers as well because he is hanging out with the wrong people and not realising the consequences, sadly these conditions are very misunderstood. Our kids get very easily lead and they are always looking for a 'high' it does not have to be in the drug sense but they have no fear and lash out first without thinking of the consequences later. All of which are not an excuse but are relevant.

I used to go to a support group - if you have one nearby, use it, they are invaluable source of information and help and will find the right people to help you. See if you can find one locally to you, I do not know where you are to advise on one, sorry.

mrs_sparrow

RAS wrote: »

The kids are adopted, not fostered so SS will have washed their hands of them.

For the adotion side, yes, but for the other stuff, no - Social Services can still be involved because of the ADHD, especially if a child is at the point of being arrested and getting expelled. If they have not asked social services for help then they need to.

Someone at our support group used to get help from social services and her lad used to get taken out twice a week to different things like bowling or cinema to give her a break. They are not only there for the bad stuff. It might be worth giving them a call.