3 under 5 - when does it get easier?

madison-nyc

it will get eaiser op , same as it did when you went from one to two kids. your youngest is only 2 months , very early days. just take one day at a time, in a few months baby will be weaned and in more of a rountine. Hang in there! x

ariba10

It can only get better, but by God when they are grown up and flown the nest, you won't half miss them.

JC9297

Presumably your oldest is at school for most of the day, so tell him/her that you will do art and craft things at the weekend. When they are at school get out with the other two to the park or toddler groups so your toddler can burn off some energy. There's nothing wrong with leaving children to entertain themselves some of the time, remember most of our mums didn't feel they had to fill our days with activities.

averagemummy

I agree - get them wrapped up and in the park to wear themselves out!

Counting_Pennies_2

You need to drop your standards.

The million things that need to get done, don't need to be done.

When you are with the children, you are giving them your time.

The house will become a mess the minute it is tidy. When they are in bed, do a little whizz about. No more than 20 mins.

The only job I say to do when the children are awake is the washing, and get them to help. Get your food shopping done online, and get the delivery booked for when OH is home.

Ironing, just do work shirts for OH, or get him to do them. Put less in the washing machine, so it does not crease so much, and shake everything firmly out and fold as soon as it is dried.

Can you afford a cleaner, £20 a week or a fortnight? If not, OH needs to pitch in.

The only arts and crafts I have in the house is the contents of the recycling bin and cellotape and some crayons and value printer paper from Tesco. Paint, play dough, and felt pens are strictly for play groups only, no where near my house!

Drop your standards on tv also, you have a new baby. If Peppa Pig needs to go on repeat on the dvd then do so. It was the only way I survived the dreaded morning sickness with my second child.

Cbeebies on the internet is also great.

Don't see tv as a demon, see it as your friend these next few months.

4.5 year old must be in preschool, have you any chance of increasing that? Or are they even at school now?

The 2 year old must be able to get into a preschool somewhere locally to give you a break. If you get a chance, try and do a couple of full days as opposed to 5 half days.

Do whatever you can to get help to stay sane in these coming months. If you don't have friends or family near by contact Homestart who have volunteers who come and entertain the children for 2 hours a week to give you a break.

It does get better, hang in there, you have a new baby, everyone is reacting to the change.

pinkcandyflossprincess

my youngest is now 4 and just started reception and thankgod for that:T
3 under 5 is a massive undertaking, i went though it with health problems too so know its a nightmare. I breast fed all mine too so found myself trying to separate two toddlers with a baby still clinging on for milk at some points:eek::rotfl:
counting pennies advise is spot on....its simply not doing you any good trying to get everything done perfect. honestly that will drive you mental:(
i found it helped sometimes just to get out..a visit to a library, playgroups etc. they wear off some energy then hopefully have a little nap so you can run about and get a few things done.
cbeebies teaches your kids quite a lot, mr tumble taught mine sign language:o

theres nothing wrong in letting kids watch a bit of tv if it helps you be able to get things done in the kitchen etc.
when i had my first child she was spotless well dressed, house was tidy and i cooked from recipes etc but i was so stressed trying to be perfect i think i missed out soewhere...
having a gap then a set of 3 together caused me stress in other ways, yeah they get more sweetie bribes than my eldest did etc, yeah they didnt immediately get changed into a new fresh white dress as soon as they had eaten a youghart etc but they are just as well looked after:o

it isnt easy and it is exhausting but i think the bond they have growing up is something special..i felt like i would go insane at times but when it got too much id take them out for a bit or have a moan to my mom then the messes and madness didnt seem as bad.
if you find it too hard though you could ask for a homestart referal? they can send a volunteer(moms like you usually who have been through it all) to help mind the kids so you can get on with jobs or just for a chat etc x
i used to go to a homestart playgroup and even though i stopped after my kids left for nursery, i still made some good friends through it and friday was a godsend as they got to play and do activites so i could sit back and chat knowing they were safe, then at the end they had worn themselves out :T
xx

melb

love the poster that thinks you can leave a 4 year old and a toddler to do crafts and even baking while you do the hoovering. love the poster who has 5 kids and expects the 8 year old to supervise homework and the 5 year olds to get drinks for the younger ones. They'll be all grown up and having kids of their own by 15. Can't understand having kids so close together that it makes life so hard - i was at the other extreme and left 4 year gaps but each one had plenty of attention until the next was born

pawsies

melb wrote: »

love the poster that thinks you can leave a 4 year old and a toddler to do crafts and even baking while you do the hoovering. love the poster who has 5 kids and expects the 8 year old to supervise homework and the 5 year olds to get drinks for the younger ones. They'll be all grown up and having kids of their own by 15. Can't understand having kids so close together that it makes life so hard - i was at the other extreme and left 4 year gaps but each one had plenty of attention until the next was born

wow, that was quite rude. Not everyone is as 'perfect' as you.

madison-nyc wrote: »

how do you bake with two tolddlers and do other things?? do you leave the toddlers in charge of the mixer and oven?!

In response to these obviously they wouldn't be left to deal with the oven etc but they could mix ingredients together, get recipe book out, wash ingredients if necessary and decorate.

The arts and crafts would be better suited tbh but baking was just a suggestion.

melb

i'm not perfect - far from it - but it's too much to cope with so many young ones at once as they have different needs. Children want a bit of undivided attention sometimes!

jen007

OP, the middle child who hits.

I wouldn't suggest getting a soft toy/cushion as another poster suggested. That would only lead to more problems.

When DD/S2 does hit, remove them from the situation. Firmly tell them that we do not hit our friends/family/brother/sister.
DD/S2 is currently learning their social skills and he/she needs to know from yourself and their older sibling/peers that this kind of behaviour is unacceptable.
Encourage your eldest to say 'Ow, that's sore XXXX'.

I had a child in my place of study who done this kind of behaviour and I set up a role play with a teddy. I was mean to teddy and I hit him, I then asked XXXX to ask teddy how he feels. We done this weekly until XXXX realised hitting makes people sad and sore.