3 under 5 - when does it get easier?

Tea-and-Cake_3

Can I have a little moan and get a little advise please? I have 3 kids under 5, the youngest is 2 months old so everday is non stop hard work. I have a crying baby, a potty training toddler who hits (to get attention I think) and a 4.5 year old who constantly want help with arts and crafts and never stops talking. So the house is chaotic, messy and loud and I have a headache and a thousand tasks to do everyday. The only way to get things done it to put the tv on for the children but I try not to rely on it for more than an hour a day (broken into chunks) When will this get easier, life is not much fun at the moment, I knew it would be busy with 3 young children but I also thought it would be fun!

pawsies

Can you not try and do activities together with the 2 older ones?

e.g. baking/painting?

That would keep them busy whilst you do other things?

JimmyTheWig

Think back to when your first two were little.
Did things get easier with them?
I'm guessing yes as you went on to have more children.
So maybe in a year's time?

The other thing to cling on to is that window in a baby's life when they can sit up but can't really move around. This is the point in time when you can put them down to do something like go to the toilet, which is a great achievement!

So yes, things will get better. But it sounds like you need some help now.
I presume that you are a mum with a partner who works. I presume that he wants to be supportive but isn't always around to be supportive. As a dad of four (currently aged between 2 and 8 so I know where you're coming from), I'd say what often what we need is to be told exactly what we can do to help. Whether that's taking the baby, dealing with the older children, taking on responsibility for bedtime, etc. Plan how to best use his time and tell him that's what would help.

Other suggestions...
A crying baby will often be soothed when carried in a sling or baby carrier. This also makes it possible to get on with other things at the same time.
There is an organisation called Home Start who have volunteers who will come out and help people in your situation for an hour or two a week. They could, for example, hold the baby while you get on with some washing or do some activities with an older child.
Sure Start Children's Centres are great. Get along to yours and find out what's going on there. Whether they've got activities that particularly suit you or not, you should find other people in similar situations to you who you can talk to. Often they'll run dads groups at the weekends, too, which your partner (still assuming, sorry!) may be able to go to. I wasn't confident taking ours out on my own until I started going to those.
Talk to your Health Visitor about how you are feeling. They may have some suggestions.
Some people seem to manage to keep a tidy house and have small children. I don't know how. Don't bother trying to be one of those people!

Owain_Moneysaver

Tea-and-Cake wrote: »

4.5 year old

Here's a new toy.

NAR

Tea-and-Cake wrote: »

When will this get easier,

When you stop having children!! :rotfl: :rotfl:

jackyann

I totally agree about the sling / carrier.
You may not want to be a slave to TV, but don't be a slave to arts & crafts either. Limit mess to certain times.
As many wooden blocks as you can possibly get are a great toy for all ages.
Give middlest child a cushion / large soft toy and say "that is for hitting"

Nearly 40 years ago I did my Health Visitor training. I had no children, but the only person I knew when the course began was a mother of 5, so i sat myself next to her hoping to learn by proximity! After a few months I asked her how come she got everything done on time and to a high standard, when other mums on the course (1,2 or 3 children) were struggling. "Tell you what" she said "3 is the hardest number, once you have number 4 it's a doddle"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm ducking for cover!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

JimmyTheWig

jackyann wrote: »

"Tell you what" she said "3 is the hardest number, once you have number 4 it's a doddle"

We say that 2 was the hardest. Biggest shock to the system, certainly.

beanymagoo

jackyann wrote: »

I totally agree about the sling / carrier.
"Tell you what" she said "3 is the hardest number, once you have number 4 it's a doddle"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm ducking for cover!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have just had my 5th and I have to agree with the above quote that the more you have the easier it gets lol! My eldest is 8 and he is great at helping out with homework etc for my two 5 year olds. My 5 year olds help get drinks etc for my 2 year old and my 2 year old helps get things like nappys and wipes! I decided years ago to not listen to the reports about limiting tv etc for children. Thanks to the tv and internet my 2 year old can work a mouse, knows all her numbers up to 20 and can recite the alphabet. While she is busy learning from the internet it gives me a little time to get some household jobs done! You will get there and it will all be worth it although it might not feel that way at times. x

Familyof6

it does get easier, my eldest girls were 4.3 and 2.2 when my third daughter was born. i cut my expectations and muddled through for probably the first year, though once the youngest is less dependant it helps. the older children can help though fetching nappies and things. my current 5 year old loves hoovering! now i have a 7 week old too as well as a 3,5 and 7 year old i wouldnt say life is easier but i can remember that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, just dont ask me at 3am!

madison-nyc

pawsies wrote: »

Can you not try and do activities together with the 2 older ones?

e.g. baking/painting?

That would keep them busy whilst you do other things?

how do you bake with two tolddlers and do other things?? do you leave the toddlers in charge of the mixer and oven?!

zaksmum

It never gets easier. Mine are 40 and 33 with kids of their own, and I still worry so much about them.