Revelation Not For The Faint Hearted Its An Epic

pippo

Hello again IDA,
Just checking back to see how you are doing.

I think this thread proves you are not alone and that there area lot of us who care.:grouphug: :grouphug:

you've taken a huge step by telling it as it is - just keep going with it.
Pippo

rosieben

I was abused as a child and how well I understand your longing for someone to stand up for you and to protect you. But remember that we are all on your side here.

I cant add anything to the good advice already given here, but from your post I know you are a strong person, you can do this and do it - not for your husband, not for your kids - but for yourself. Its become a bit of an advertising cliche but 'You Are Worth It'!

Triker

Just checking in on you also.

Seems like today is the first day of the rest of your life eh?

For you to have put down in words your thoughts and experiences is a brave and positive step and I salute you for doing so.

Obviously change is happening for you, proven by you taking this step of posting.

What can I say other than keep on going girl, you're amongst friends here.

Although it takes time to assess what it is you want from life, I've a feeling you are already setting things in motion, good luck and positive vibes to you :grinheart

in_debt_again_but_dealing_with_it

Thank you all so much your kind words mean so much to me. Unfortunately my computer won't let me thank you all personally. Feeling a little better preparing myself for setting the wheels in motion and the first thing on my to do list is speak to DH - hopefully very soon. I think I will look at counselling, until last night I don't think I had recognised how "damaged" I was by my brother, I never considered it abuse and always feel I was somehow to blame for all the bad things that have happened in my life - it sounds such a cliche but I really feel that I don't deserve any good things and that I simply must be a "bad" person. Almost like "being there" for everyone else somehow proves who I am and without it I'm nothing, so rush around like a headless chicken. I hope that makes sense and doesn't sound like the ranting of a mad woman!! Thank you all once again - mse and you lot are keeping me sane.
love
IDA
xx

Scottishmummy

Hi IDA

Everyone has already said anything I could say other than in posting your first post you have taken the first step towards the newer stronger you. Have a bit of you time, be self-indulgent for a change even it is just sitting down with your favourite bar of chocolate, then work out where your next step is going to take you whether it be counselling (which I think would help a lot) or talking things through with your husband.

Remember we are all here for you and will try to help in any way we can.

dubgirl

Hi Ida, I have just finished reading the threads and just wanted to say that I think you have been very brave to make your first post and I hope that this will be the start of the rest of your life (I'm sorry if that sounds a bit corny!) All of us will be supporting you every step, please keep us posted.

pippo

Hi IDA,
You seem to be doing so well!

Speak to your OH if you feel up to it, but if needs be put it on hold until you have found counsellor. However good it may be in the long term it is sure to be cr&p at the time, and a professional support may be useful!

Please go to bed & have some sleep - you were up at stupid o'clock this morning! I know that may be easier said than done, but you need it, as do your children.

Sleep well, dear & sweet dreams.:smileyhea
Pippo

pippo

P.S. IDA,
What are you studying at Uni??

rosieben

Just one thing I forgot to say. The first time I ever confided in someone about my being abused he just held me and said 'It wasnt your fault!' I have clung to that in bad times and its been a help to me in working through the guilt.

And what happened to you wasn't your fault. Please remember that; I hope you find a little comfort in it too.

in_debt_again_but_dealing_with_it

Thank you rosieben, thank you all so much. Haven't done anything on my to do list yet, feel very exposed at the moment, however there is also a feeling of relief and release. I don't think I'd realised how damaged I had been by the abuse and had always played it down in my head saying it meant nothing. I think my daughter reaching the age I was when it happened brought it to a head, looking at her and thinking "how could he, I was that small once"! Writing it down made it real and made it mean something and I feel so much better for it. Will still look at the counselling and the book that was recommended. Today has been a good day! Its thanks to all the support and advice of my "virtual" friends more real in many ways than any other friends I have. Thank you all once again.
IDA
xx

ps: If anyone reading this has suffered similarly it really does help to open up and let it out, you don't have to post, just write it down and burn it or whatever - I'm a cynic and had always poo pooed that advice but it really worked for me and can be the beginning of a new era - please try!