A little advice needed please

Peanut_butter_2

Hi everyone, my mother passed away in August and made me executor of her estate.. I have an older sister who saw very little of our mother but seems to be a little upset this duty wasn't left to her. I have a couple of questions if anyone could be so kind as to help.

My mother owned her own property (and lived alone) and my sister is insisting having keys to the property. Do I have to give them to her? My sister and I stand to benefit from the sale of the property (it is specified in the will that the property is to be sold) but surely this just allows access to the proceeds not the actual property?

Secondly, with regards to reasonable expenses, can I claim back for fuel for the journeys I make to my mothers property? She lived almost 200 miles from me (and my sister) and there is no other family closer who can keep an eye on the property so I am making fortnightly visits to check on the place and keep the outside/garden tidy. I have started to keep a record of each visit in case of any issue my sister may have at a later date, Im just not sure if this would be classed as being excessive (the expense for visiting the property this often).

Sorry for such a long post, this is all new to me and such a minefield. I just want to do things properly and have it all dealt with as quickly as reasonably possible ( which as I haven't yet been able to access all the necessary tax information yet it will probably take some time:-S ).

TonyMMM

As executor you are responsible for the property until it is sold - you can give keys to whoever you choose (or not).

Is there a reason you don't want your sister to have keys ? If you feel she will remove items, maybe you should meet at the house with her and agree the split of any particular sentimental/valuable things ?

You can claim reasonable expenses for your role as executor - travel, phone, stamps etc. but not for your time. Whether your fortnightly visit is "reasonable" is a subjective opinion. When the proceeds of the Will are finally distributed, it would be for your sister to take action if she felt you had taken too much for your costs.

As in all these cases, if at all possible, it is best to sit down and discuss things now.

Peanut_butter_2

Thank-you For that. We have arranged to sort through my mothers belongings, which she may or may not want. Whatever she doesn't take will be going to charity.

I would rather she did not have keys (unsupervised access) as she has a rather coloured life and mixes with some unsavoury characters and it concerns me what she could need to access the property for. As I said we both live some distance away from my mothers house and my sister doesn't work so could quite easily arrange to spend time there which would not be desirable.

Obviously where expenses are concerned I will be keeping them to a minimum and would be prepared to do most things without claiming the money back, she was after all my mother. However depending how long probate takes to obtain and then also the sale of the property, costs could soon mount up and the ideal would be to keep these as low as possible. As you say, I am responsible for the property and I want to ensure it is maintained to it's current condition as well as kept secure.

Thank-you again for your response :-)

troubleinparadise

You should also arrange for insurance for a furnished but unoccupied house - that will probably require that you visit the house perhaps weekly, along with other stipulations re utilities. The cost of that can be borne by the estate.

That might also give you a reason not to give your sister the keys (apart from the fact that although she is due a share of the proceeds of the sale, being in the house prior to that would not be a right) as it might invalidate the insurance?

Do try to keep things mellow if possible - although the demands of your sister are not exactly mellow! It is quite amazing how very unpleasant things can become when it involves money and families; and how much time and energy can be expended on these issues when there wasn't the time or energy available to see the person before they died.....

Peanut_butter_2

You are so right, loosing my mother is a huge loss in my life and I don't want the added stress from my sister making things more difficult. I haven't come across any insurance papers yet so shall look into insuring the property. You so often hear about relatives crawling out of the woodwork but you hope you will never be in a position to have to deal with it yourself. Thank-you for taking the time to reply :-)

troubleinparadise

Dear Peanut Butter,

Yes, losing your mum (well, pretty much any loss really) is a huge issue, so don't think you're alone in that nor overreacting.

It sounds as though you had a good relationship with her, and losing that is going to make a big hole in your life, and your sadness is understandable.

Try not to let your sister's bad behaviour get to you too much, and just try to look after yourself as much as you can as you get on with the tedious admin that is involved in executorship. It is difficult to deal with all that stuff as well as your own grief and bereavement.

As for your sister - well, hopefully one day she will have the insight to see that her behaviour at this time was not good. Sadly all too often the damage has been done; but that is her problem.

Good luck with it all - you will get through it, and one day it will be in the past and behind you, and you can get on with looking forwards.

Peanut_butter_2

Oh thank-you so much for your kind words. I'm hoping the whole admin process will be fairly straightforward, just need to sort out the probate/tax forms and then things should get moving.

hardpressed

You really do need to make sure the house is insured incase anything happened to it, your sister could then claim that you had acted irresponsibly by not insuring it, best not to give her any cause for complaint.

Fire_Fox

You might switch off the water and electricity for a while plus drain down the system, that would stop anyone using the house for more than a few hours, and obviously make leaks and bust pipes less likely. Depends what type of circuit breaker/ fuse box/ stopc0ck you have how easy it is for someone with the right tools to get it all working again. Also if you empty out certain items of furniture it will be whole lot less comfortable British Heart Foundation may take away any large items that are not worth selling for free.

Obviously you can refuse a key, but this is an alternative if you feel pressured into agreeing. Do the neighbours have your phone number and are they aware the house should be empty? You might ask them to report ANY night time activity to the police and then to you.

As others have said you must inform the contents and buildings insurers of your mother's passing and that the place is empty ASAP. If you have bank statements you might find the payments there which will give you a clue as to which company your mother was insured with.

Peanut_butter_2

Gosh, hadn't considered switching off the water, sound advice now the weather is much colder, i will add it to my 'to do' list. Trying to also sort the insurance too.

The neighbours do have my number and were previously aware of my sister from my mother. I shall have a look into BHF re furniture, thanks for that tip :-)

I stopped all accounts as soon as my mother died to ensure they could not be abused by anyone. My mother did all her banking online, do you think the banks would still be able to provide me with statements (or just details of payments to/from the account) even though the account is no longer active? Something else to add to the growing list.

troubleinparadise

Another admin item on the house front - have you contacted the Council about the Council tax yet? Each council has its own rules, but there is usually an exemption from paying CT whilst a house is "in Probate", and sometimes for a period afterwards (although furnished properties sometimes don't qualify).

But that's a large sum of money that doesn't need paying for a while, which all helps, and of course there may be a refund to be claimed for the estate.

And another reason why someone shouldn't be in residence....

My late parent's house is unoccupied but furnished, and I have been able to get insurance for that, with a visitation proviso; I haven't had to turn the utilities off under the requirements, but am mindful of the frozen pipes issue if we get another cold winter!

If you were to visit a branch of the bank your mother had her online account with, along with paperwork such as the Will, Death Certificate and your passport (to verify your id as an Executor) and sometimes a utility bill of your own to verify your address, they should be able to provide you with details of the account she held, or at least set the ball rolling. Best to phone up first as sometimes you have to make an appointment to see the person trained in this area; sadly banks seem to fluctuate in the staff training and their abilities to understand the procedures. Try looking online for a central helpline number for that bank, and give them a call to find out what their procedure is.