Aaaaaarrrrgggghhhhh

azjh77

Might be worth asking someone if this is the case, perhaps Citizens Advice? Lots of people who are in the know about these things will be on soon and they will help you.

Good Luck.

angchris

Merch_boy wrote: »

I could prove I was either away at sea or at my flat when the applications were made. But, I have accepted them as my debt by paying the argos and speaking to CAPQUEST - have I?

not too sure of the legalities of fraudulant use of your name as it is your wife, as far as the companies are concerned its yours, for the time being definately phone them up and explain the situation and get them to put a block on the cards, also get a copy of your credit history from experian to see what else she`s been up to. maybe nows the time to tell a close friend, you need support through this and a good friend will be there for you whatever...you need to unburden and have a good rant dont bottle it all up, we have all been there at one point or another through different reasons. none of this is your fault other than you trying to be a loving caring husband etc. like the previous poster said get some proper advice from the citizens advise and this might make things a bit clearer in your head and you can find a suitable plan of action

Merch_boy

Thanks - I couldnt go to the CAB locally - my sister works there!
She wasnt my wife at the time she took the cards out - does that matter?
I have checked my credit report - only a big red no. 8 with EGG...nothing else.
At the moment i dont think i could tell any of my mates - this writing it down lark is helping a bit mind - thanks!

hypno06

Your sister is likely to find out in due course what is happening anyway, surely, so perhaps it is wise to go to the CAB and for her to be on your side right from the word "go".

Not only might she be more supportive, but she might get upset that you didn't confide in her later down the line.

You have nothing to be ashamed of, and so the support from family will be invaluable over the next few days, and weeks etc.

Good luck x

vindalooloo

Hi Merch boy - Sorry you are in such a situation! I was feeling really fed up about stuff this morning, but my difficulties come nowhere near yours so big hugs from vindalooloo!!!

Merch_boy wrote: »

She wasnt my wife at the time she took the cards out - does that matter?

Gosh - if this woman wasn't your wife at the time but still took out cards in your name, isn't that identity fraud??? You could get the Police involved surely .... especially is she 'tries anything' for example trying to get the house off you.

Sorry to be harsh, but you need to lose this person. It sounds like she is dragging you down (for the second time). Have you any equity left on any of the properties? If so, wouldn't it be wisest to sell everything up, pay everything off and start again ....... ALONE?

If she tries anything, (trying to get property or maintainence etc) threaten her with exposing her fraudulent activity to the authorities. Do you have any kiddies together? If not, it might be quite hard for her to claim maintainence for step kids. Also, you have only been married for such a short time ..... it's not like the woman as 25 years with you so entitled to the world when you split up?

Untangle yourself as soon as possible - make it legal if you can, for example file at a solicitors the date when you seperate (even if you are still living under the same roof). This is so if she starts taking debt out in your name again you have some redress - or sort of proof that you haven't collaborated with her to take out the debt.

Get the properties on the market and as soon as you get some cash file for divorce as soon as you can. If not, she'll drag you so far down that it will take you till you're 65 to get yourself out of the mire!

bandraoi

You need to take legal advice ASAP.

Not 100% but the "in my name/in her name" thing is alot less relevant because you're married. Personally I'd still start gathering an evidence trail showing that she took out and ran up the debts and what each of you had before you came into the marriage.

Prudent

Do make sure you gather together as many financial documents and statements as you can. Make out a spread sheet showing assests before the marraieg and assets now. Make a file of all the credit card statements and highlight her personal spending and spending on her children.

Make another spread sheet showing your essential outgoings and your income and do the same for her. Remember she will also get child benefit for the children and add any money the father contributes.

Take all of this too a good solicitor and don't make her any promises before you have sought advise. The marriage has been very short and she will only have a limited claim on any joint assets.

silvercar

Taking credit in someones name is fraud. The fact you are married just means that you are less likely to take action and if even if you did, you would have a harder time proving it. There is a big difference between her taking credit with your agreement and without. The fact is she committed fraud. You need to get copies of the application forms with your forged signature on them. Put them together with any other evidence, including statements that will show that she spent the money on herself. You then show her all the paperwork and stuff it a big envelope and entrust it to a solicitor or a close friend of yours or a relative. Preferably someone who distrusts her and is unlikely to be wrapped around her little finger like you are!

That evidence nicely tucked away, you both need to control the debt situation. You have far too many mortgages. Sell the flat and get rid of those mortgages. Then one of you needs to move out of the house, if it is you then you need to be taken off the mortgage, if she can't afford it on her own then she needs to be living in a smaller place.

She will continue to feed off you while you let her. Reading between the lines, you still want to support her and she is taking advantage of that; she wants your money but not your affection. You need to play this back to her, if she really wanted to support you she would understand that you need to reduce the debt and help.

sheraz2

You sound like a right door mat!

silvercar

sheraz2 wrote: »

You sound like a right door mat!

Thats not a very helpful comment, why bother posting?.

People inside a relationship often cannot see what may be clearer to those outside.