Anxiety problems ruining everything :(

coinxoperated

Hello, I'm asking for some advice regarding anxiety.

I have been to my GP who's only answer was a medication that would make me drowsy and unable to work, which I can't do.

Basically, when I was 17 a joined a sales company full of big mean bully bosses. After about 3 months in the role I found myself having all the symptoms of IBS and had some medication from my GP.

Even with medication, I had good days and bad. And a constant feeling of worry. That 'oh god' feeling right in your gut.

I've never been able to shift it. I came off the IBS medication as I felt that I was taking medication for something I didn't have, and low and behold, nothing actually changed! My IBS didn't get worse and I changed my job.

I had a lot going on for about 6 months, I cancelled my wedding, re-located to live on my own for the first time and started a new job.

Unfortunately, my new job also came with a nasty boss that constantly threatened to sack me.

I've just been promoted and changed bosses, and I'm really happy in my role now. I KNOW my role is safe, I'm working as hard as I can and I've recently cleared all my debt.

Nothing in my life right now is really particularly stressful. I have a very busy workload, but have managed fine and got everything needed to done. I also know my boss is particular in favour of 'training me up', so even the career issue isn't a problem.

But the constant 'eek' feeling doesn't go away. When I go to bed, my mind races all over the place and I end up worrying myself to sleep.

As an example, I've been allowed to work from home for a couple of days a week. I'm petrified! I almost feel that I'm doing something wrong. I'm so very nervous all the time and find myself feeling so overwhelmed.

On top of all of this, every time I go out, I have a constant urge to go for a number 2!!! It doesn't matter if I've just been, where I'm going, Or what I'm doing, I still have that ache in my stomach, and sometimes a bad stomach because of it.

I'm assuming that I have anxiety problems. My GP is sure I just have IBS, but that doesn't explain the constant worrying...

Going on medication for anxiety is a definite no no. I get addicted to things too easily and don't trust my will power to ensure I do stop taking them. Never mind the side effects.

Does anyone have any techniques for calming and relaxing to help the anxiety?

I don't know how much longer I can live like this


Thank you for reading

whitewing

You could perhaps try Rescue Remedy. My friend found that helpful after her husband died, when she didn't want to go onto regular medication but doing nothing wasn't an option.

I have used the handcream version and I really like that.

coinxoperated

Thank you so much for that. I've just been reading some reviews on amazon and it sounds amazing! Thank you!! I shall try holland and barrett and get some tomorrow. Thank you more than you know. X

System

Mind and body work together, so it's very possible the anxiety and the IBS are feeding off each other in a bit of a vicious circle. Different things work for different people, but the following might help you with your anxiety symptoms:

meditation (you don't have to be a Buddhist!) helps you to live in the here and now, and to concentrate on your breath

self-help books, like this one, for instance:
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Overcoming-Anxiety-Helen-Kennerley/dp/1849010714/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1349982686&sr=8-1

counselling, possibly?

relaxation tapes/cds, - there are dozens of them on the market, and there's also some guided deep relaxation videos on YouTube

Callie22

Have you asked your GP for a referral to a counsellor? Or could you access one privately or through work (does your company have an Employee Assistance Programme?) It sounds like you've had a really bad time at work and it's possible that you're still suffering from that, which can also cause the physical symptoms. It might be helpful if you could talk about it with someone and work on some coping strategies to help you relax a bit.

ktb

I am prone to anxiety and at its worst, I was waking up mid full-on panic attack with seemingly no trigger, which was lovely!! I was also diagnosed with IBS in my early 20s... so I sympathise on both counts.

I second what Avogadro said - I find relaxation and guided meditation audio stuff is great at bedtime. Not only do I sleep better but I wake up more refreshed and less anxious. I also used to have them on my ipod and listen to them at lunch at work if things got a bit much. Even 10 mins calmed me down loads.

If you don't find these helpful, then I also stopped my mind racing at bedtime my putting on an audiobook. I went from semi-insomniac with a brain constantly at a million mph.... to dropping off without even realising i'd been trying. I made sure it was a book I knew well so my brain didn't concentrate on it - but it totally stopped the whirry brain thing.

I also learnt Vipassana meditation - which is about awareness & concentration rather than anything airy, fairy... and it is amazing how your brain suddenly forgets it's anxieties when you are getting it to do nothing but focus on the breath going in and out of one nostril for 20 mins! Sounds silly - but it really works. Does take some patience and practice though. I believe that meditation has been proven to reduce blood pressure and all sorts.... so it's gotta be doing something nice and relaxing to your brain & body!

Get outside as much as possible. Might be a cliche, and I don't know if you are in the city or countryside, but there is something truly beneficial about being around & appreciating nature.

Re: the IBS, over the years I haven't found much to help in all honesty. I tried all the recommended diets, exclusions and drinking plenty of water... blah, blah, blah. But I have just started to take Symprove (is on Amazon and there are plenty of details online) .... and after just a week my horrible bloating problems & the painful spasm in the lower lefthand side of my pelvis is reduced by about 95%.... I realise this could be a coincidence after such a short time & will only know for sure after a more extended trial, but I just feel so much better already! It's not cheap @ £77 for the month.... but they say just 1 month should improve things (although they recommend 12 weeks for the full benefit), so we'll see if I want to fork out another £77 in 3 weeks time.

I really hope you start to feel better soon! Anxiety can be crippling and dominate every area of your life. It is a horrible black cloud and I hope you find the tools to get out from underneath it. Good luck!

podperson

I would second mediation being a really useful aid.
Regular exercise can also be really good for helping with anxiety. Not only can it help to provide a distraction from your worries, but from a physiological point of view, when you get anxious your body is building up a lot of adrenaline, which adds to the physical feelings - sweating, nauseua, churning stomach etc. and when you exercise this is released from the body, helping you feel more relaxed for a bit.

guineapig

I think that some of us are "born worriers" it is part of our DNA, if there is no outside rational "thing" to worry over ( like your previous job problems) then our subconcious goes into " I know I should be worrying over something" mode.
I was a nurse and I loved my job and was told I was very good at what I did (I had to retire after an accident). For years I worried I would be "found out",
about what, I am not sure! maybe that I wasn't qualified ( I was!) maybe that I wasn't that good at my job ( my feed back from my bosses and patients was always excellent).
After I retired, I STILL dreamt I was working as a nurse and still the dreams about "being found out"/found lacking.
I started to have panic attacks linked to hot flushes, the hot flush came and I found I was having a panic attack at the same time??? weird, anyway I didn't want to take anything (HRT orwhatnot) so I found a retired GP who specialised in Hypnotherapy, I went to see him and it was the best money I have everspent!
At the time, I was very, very relaxed but aware of everything he was saying and he had a very boring monotone voice ( which is the idea I guess as you are supposed to be "sleepy"!!), I didn't feel like it had done much, but I have never had a full blown panic since! in fact, I have been in situations ( one very recently, where I felt it coming on) and I "talked myself down", I was so proud of myself!! So what ever he did it worked and I have to say I am normally very sceptical about that kind of thing.
I have a degree in Clinical Psychology and I am aware of the workings of the mind, but just like being a nurse and the not being bothered about the site of blood,it is different "when it's your own!!" ( mind in this case, not blood!).

You will probably find that your bowels will always be a physical manifestation of your current state of mind and they will relax to a greater or lesser extent when you have found something that works on a much deeper level ( in my case the hypnotherapy).
That said, humans are pre-programmed to the "fight or flight" response, so that, you may find you get a "nervous tummy"/busy bladder even if on the outside you are keeping it all together. For example, even though I am medically qualified and have all this information about how the mind works, I still find my blood pressure shoots up when I go to the hospital or even my GP even when it's routine and there is no operations in sight!
We need to be nicer to ourselves and realise that not everything has a "cure", but everything can be "managed" in a way that REDUCES the side effects.
I wish you all the best. A good book to read is "Managing your Mind" by Tony Hope and Gillian Butler

SailorSam

Maybe change your diet, particularly of a night before bedtime. Or exercise is suppose to help even if it was only a walk around the block.

Pennylane

I also recommend Rescue Remedy - I used it for quite some time and it helped. A few months ago though I came across a lady who makes up a personal flower remedy for the individual after talking to you and that REALLY has been marvellous. PM me if you'd like her details and you can have a chat to her and she'll make one up specifically for you. Mine contains about 16 different flower remedies and is wonderful.
I was really anxious and it was affecting my life in so many ways - very much like you sound.

I'd also recommend a relaxation tape. I have the Paul McKeena book and tape and that is good when I'm travelling.

trumpton

Here are some books that may help. All on Amazon or WHSmiths:

Self Help for your Nerves - Claire Weekes. Read the reviews, this book has been a life saver for many people.

Stop Thinking, Start Living - Richards Carlson

The Worry Cure - Robert Leahy

The last two are cognitive therapy books that help you overcome negative thoughts.

Jon Kabbat Zinn books on mindfulness are good too - there is one with a cd that is very good.