My husband has stormed off after a row

lasbahamas

What do you all do when you row? Twice I asked him not to go, normally we talk about it but I could not persuade him to stay, now angry I guess because I asked him not to go and he ignored it.

He was just being silly, jokey, sarcastic,he went too far, usually we sit and talk about it, that is what adults do but not this time, he left, very unusual, he left hours ago. His mobile is in the kitchen.

I have 3 teenagers upstairs,been with him several years, I could also go out but what is the point to that?

Shall I just wait for him to come back?

Who cares whose fault it was it just seems so OTT to leave when I asked him not to go twice.

fluffnutter

Just do what you want to do this evening. If that's stay in and watch telly, then do it. If it's go out with the girls, then do that instead. Don't change your plans (unless they involved him I guess!).

TBH, when you've had a nasty row there's not an awful lot you can do to take your mind off things. You're going to be sat there waiting for him to come back regardless of how much you try to forget about it. Watch X Factor or spend all evening on here.

cavework

Have a warm bath , drink a glass ( or 2) of wine then go to bed..
Let him cool off and please don't worry .. we have had a few of these over the years and are still together.
xxx

Tommelise

I have been with my DH for almost 19 years, we don’t often have rows anymore, but if we do my DH will sometimes leave for a short time,

I am much more in control of words than he is and he needs to leave to clear his head and be able to think strait.

He leaves because if he stays, he might lose control and damage something like a door or a wall. (This has happened 3 times over the years, - he would never harm me)

I let him leave, and wait for him to calm down - often the argument was silly in the first place, and when we both have calmed down it is easier to solve the issue.

I am sure he will come back soon.

lostinrates

I think I am the odd one out, I am the woman, and it's me who likes to distance myself in rows in all my relationships.

Dh and I very rarely row, but he is kind enough to let me flee when I need to. We then discuss things calmly later.

londonsurrey

Although it's not very nice, he has every right to go off and calm himself down. It can even be a sensible thing to do.

IMHO it's more unacceptable for him to stay, and then do passive aggressive sulking. That's so immature.

podperson

lostinrates wrote: »

I think I am the odd one out, I am the woman, and it's me who likes to distance myself in rows in all my relationships.

Dh and I very rarely row, but he is kind enough to let me flee when I need to. We then discuss things calmly later.

I'm the same and tbh it makes rows worse sometimes as I'll want some time out to calm down and clear my head and he'll want to thrash out every part of the argument to 'sort it out' and not want me to leave until we do.
OP, I'm sure he just needed some time to calm down and will be back soon x

Gloomendoom

lasbahamas wrote: »

He was just being silly, jokey, sarcastic,he went too far, usually we sit and talk about it, that is what adults do but not this time, he left, very unusual, he left hours ago. His mobile is in the kitchen..

I think that you would be surprised how many adults wouldn't agree. Sometimes it's better just to go for a walk, calm down, and return to deal with the problem with a clear head.

lostinrates

Have to say though, after so lopng I do feel for op. atext to say he's ok but cooling down, or whatever, would be considerate.

VitaK

When he comes home, dont forget to give him a good cuddle and tell him that you love him.

claire16c

I guess it depends on what you normally do after a row.

If my DH walked out I would be shocked because neither of us would do that. The furthest either of us would get would be upstairs and even that would be dramatic for us.

So if he literally went outside Id be really worried. And if he went out for hours with no mobile Id be really ***sed off. Although the row would have to be incredibly bad for that to have happened so perhaps it would all be depending on what the row was about anyway.