How to deal with stress and obsession!

meritaten

anastasia - if you aware you are obsessing or being compulsive, could you give yourself a mantra or catchword which would switch your behaviour to something else?
for example - if you were over analysing something said at work and caught yourself doing it - would then saying a word like .......oh ......'Supper' switch your mind into wondering what to do for for food? sounds a bit silly I know - its difficult to suggest a 'switch' word without knowing you!

littlestar1981

Hey,
I have recently been diagnosed with OCD (primarily obsessive thoughts and ruminations). There have been flourishes of depression and anxiety as a side effect of that also and things did get pretty bad a couple of months ago. It's taken a year to even get that far and I'm currently off sick from work, which is hard as I have no escape from my thoughts.

One of the important things is to keep busy. I find that spending time with people means I can concentrate on them and it takes me away from my own world. It's a difficult balance though as sometimes doing too much gives you more to obsess about and then you end up achieving nothing.

Analysing what everything says to you has links to low self esteem, so it's worth looking that up online for tips (avoid US sites, they're way too cheesy!!). For me, I will obsess and obsess about what someone thinks of me, so I'll end up asking outright, then instead of feeling relief I then start obsessing about what that person thinks of me for asking, and also whether they are really telling the truth... so it doesn't help matters.

I know medication is not seen as a good thing and can be a rough ride . I'm currently on an increasing dose of fluoxetine which is supposed to be good for obsessive thoughts. I'm hoping to get them under control enough to be responsive to CBT, and once that's helped I hope to slowly come off medications.... but I know it's a long road.

Talking to an understanding GP can help. Yes their first instinct will be to reach for their prescription pad but they should be able to refer for talking therapy without medication. Beware of long waiting times though.

Good luck and feel free to PM me xx

anastasia666

littlestar1981 wrote: »

Hey,

Analysing what everything says to you has links to low self esteem, so it's worth looking that up online for tips (avoid US sites, they're way too cheesy!!). For me, I will obsess and obsess about what someone thinks of me, so I'll end up asking outright, then instead of feeling relief I then start obsessing about what that person thinks of me for asking, and also whether they are really telling the truth... so it doesn't help matters.

This is me. I get myself so worked up about what someone thinks of me that I ask them, and then worry that they will now go off me because I asked them or that perhaps they're lying to shut me up. lol Vicious circle.

Thank you so much to everyone that has responded. I've downloaded that book and will read that (I read the sample of it and thought it looked interesting so it's worth a try).

I like the idea of a catchword meritan. I think anything food related probably isn't best for me (food is another obsession and one that I've bene trying to combat for a long time!) But yes, something that I could sya or think to snap me out of it and focus my mind on something else.

I hope that things will calm down a lot when my husband moves out. At the moment we seem to be in limbo, and this isn't good for either of us. I suspect I'm obsessing over other things mroe than usual in order to not obsess about my home situation!

One thing that has helped me over the last few days is walking my beautiful doggie. I don't really exercise intensively, I am rather over weight and although I lost 4 stone last year (and then put 1 stone back on) I still have a lot to lose. But I do find that going out for a brisk walk at lunch times and then out in the evening with my doggie is helping. It's almost like I walk my worries away.

I've always been very aware of my flaws and my issues. Probably because I believe my grandmother is a narcissist and my mother never really protected me from it. I had to grow up very quickly and it's taken me a long time to get to the stage I'm at now - i do have low self esteem still, but I am nowhere near as bad as I used to be. I'm much better with social situations now and I force myself to participate in things that are outside of my comfort zone in order to overcome this stuff. I guess I can't just erase all the damage that they did to me though, and this seems to come out in my obsessions and over-analysing.

Mojisola

meritaten wrote: »

anastasia - if you aware you are obsessing or being compulsive, could you give yourself a mantra or catchword which would switch your behaviour to something else?
for example - if you were over analysing something said at work and caught yourself doing it - would then saying a word like .......oh ......'Supper' switch your mind into wondering what to do for for food? sounds a bit silly I know - its difficult to suggest a 'switch' word without knowing you!

This distraction method does work. Another version - an elastic band worn round your wrist - snap it when you find yourself starting to obsess and your thinking is suddenly interrupted. If you can then (silently, if you're in public!) recite a nursery rhyme or sing a song you can then further distance your thinking from the obsessive thought.

Littlemadam83

Hey Anastasia,

This is me also, I obsessed over everything and it triggered again badly after my marriage break up. Everything was analysed from what my boss was saying to me, to what my friends were saying, I'd go away and think that blah comment meant they didn't like me.

I also obsess over things like booking holidays and finding answers to deep things and it just consumes me.

I finally had to take a stand when my anxiety levels went through the roof when I met a new partner. The doctor did put me on anti anxiety tablets, but also enrolled me in CBT.

These methods helped me so much, and there are so many exercises for CBT you can do that will make you think in a more positive and unbiased view.

My CBT lady recommended me a book called overcoming low self esteem, I never thought I had that as am not a shy person, but she was right! The book really helped and maybe this could be a start for you?

I definitely think CBT will also help you immensely like it did me xxxx