How to deal with stress and obsession!

anastasia666

I've been going through a lot recently with the break down of my marriage, and I've got a long way to go yet before things are sorted out. However I'm finding that on top of all of the stress and anxiety I would expect, I'm over analysing everything that people say to me and getting myself worked up into a frenzy about possible meanings and so on.

I need to nip this in the bud as it's causing me even more misery and upset. Does anyone have any tips of how to overcome this? I've always been the sort of person to analyse everything, and I've always suffered a bit with obessing about things (usually hobbies - I will decide I need to have something for a hobby and will then obsess until I get it). But I cannot carry on like this.

If anyone has any strategies I could attempt or any other words of wisdom I would really appreciate it. I'm much better this week than I was last week, but I find it so hard to not read into things too much and it's starting to affect relationships with my friends, who have been so supportive of me in the last few months.

Fire_Fox

Firstly get proper diagnosis from your doctor and medical treatment if needs be - talking therapies, medication - nobody on here should be recommending anything more than lifestyle modification without this.

Secondly make sure you are consistently meeting or exceeding ALL our government's recommendations for healthy eating and lifestyle. Physical activity and certain nutrients/ foods are effective treatments or adjunct treatments for certain mood disorders including anxiety.

You should be looking at your basic activity levels (at least 10,000 steps every day) plus some more intense exercise three to five times a week if you are physically healthy. Try to get some daylight on a daily basis year round. Food wise low glycaemic index carbs only, plenty of mineral rich foods (particularly magnesium), protein little and often, essential fatty acids especially those from oily fish. Limit or avoid alcohol, caffeine, sugar, white/ refined carbs because these all mess with your blood glucose and stress hormone levels.

anastasia666

Thanks. Yes I do need to get back on top of my diet. I am exercising regularly now (every day) which I do find helps me a lot.

I don't want to take anti depressants. I've been on them before and whilst they worked for me, I just don't want to be on them.

I need to find a coping mechanism of some sort.

Fire_Fox

Don't second guess what the doctor will advise! Anti-depressants are primarily for clinical depression, some also work for anxiety and/ or obsession but there are alternatives, for example low dose beta blockers. With many mental health conditions your brain gets stuck in cyclical and obsessive thinking - medication is one way to break that cycle, CBT or counselling another.

How intensively are you exercising and what forms are you doing? It is believed this works two fold: firstly altering brain chemistry, secondly simply distraction. Training in a group, learning choreography, to music or hardcore/ painful stuff (safely!) can be highly effective at distracting you. It's next to impossible to work at higher intensities daily, athletes are a rare breed.

suki1001

I can only speak for the over analyzing part. It does make life hard work doesn't it? It also doesn't really get you anywhere apart from round in circles!

I have done it in the past, I've seen my mum do it and I've noticed she always has to have a pantomime baddie in her life too! Sometimes, you need to step back and try to be a bit more philosophical about things. You don't need to hang on someone's every word, you don't need to work out their meaning because unless you ask them directly - you won't know.

Just step back and trust yourself a bit more. You don't need other people's opinions. Working with the doctor will help[. don't do what my mum does which is try to get people to constantly feed her statements of reassurance in an effort to make her feel better - it only gets thrown into the bottomless pit! Things will get better and it's okay to feel a bit rubbish.

Errata

anastasia666 wrote: »

Thanks. Yes I do need to get back on top of my diet. I am exercising regularly now (every day) which I do find helps me a lot.

I don't want to take anti depressants. I've been on them before and whilst they worked for me, I just don't want to be on them.

I need to find a coping mechanism of some sort.

You may find this helpful http://www.llttf.com/

meritaten

You are very self-aware hun - that should help! can you catch yourself over-analyzing things at the time? or is it afterwards?

belfastgirl23

I have been finding this book useful - it's written in a very straightforward way and I think addresses exactly this issue.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Stop-Thinking-Start-Living-Happiness/dp/0722535473

alyth

to the OP - what you sometimes need is a lighbulb moment - or a reality check. I am terrible with regards to OCD and having things perfect, and I stress and worry to the point of having panic attacks - badly. I met someone two months ago, fell madly in love, and became obsessed with him - not to the stalking point or anything like that, we both fell for each other, spent a lot of unhealthy time together, and something had to give. I've had in the past week three major panic attacks, blasted my whole life out on facebook at 2am every night, almost jacked in uni (I'm a mature student) and ultimate you crash and burn and that happened to me last night - thankfully I had wonderful friends that had been in touch all day, otherwise I was so so close to doing something horrible. - so I understand your worry and anxiety.

Have you tried crafting/baking/gardening - I was so stressed about things this afternoon I went out and did some weeding - automatically your mind concentrates on pulling out the whole weed to get rid of the roots, rather than just the top bit. Cross stitch is good - you have to concentrate fully otherwise there is nothing worse than ripping back a row you've done.

Reading - something that really interests you - I tried studying today but it didn't work, so I vegged on the sofa for two hours watching Friends and flicking through a book on Chateaux - I'm studying history and I got more interested in the book than the tv and then came back onto the pc to research something I'd read in the book.

Otherwise there is a good website called I think Omharmonics - google it - you get free relaxing music and that always works for me when I can feel myself going into what I call a frantic period. I worry horrendously about the smallest things, to the extent that it affects my whole life now, but I find the things above do help me. Good luck xx

anastasia666

Thanks for all the help. I'll read through everything properly tomorrow morning.

I'm aware that I'm doing it when I'm doing it, but I cannot stop myself. It's like a compulsion. I just go over and over things that have been said and then end up texting when I'm in a state, asking whet this meant or what that meant! I've managed to stop myself from texting someone once, by asking someone at work what they thought of the text and they said to not send it. Lol I can't do that all the time though. I guess it's a form of control.

anastasia666

Thanks for all the help. I'll read through everything properly tomorrow morning.

I'm aware that I'm doing it when I'm doing it, but I cannot stop myself. It's like a compulsion. I just go over and over things that have been said and then end up texting when I'm in a state, asking whet this meant or what that meant! I've managed to stop myself from texting someone once, by asking someone at work what they thought of the text and they said to not send it. Lol I can't do that all the time though. I guess it's a form of control.