Why 'family flowers only'?

toadhall

we had a coffin spray and 2 bouquets were sent by distant family, because mum was cremated we took the flowers home with us and they lasted for several weeks

Mayflower10cat

A friend who died 5 years ago, and a very keen gardener, asked for no 'formal' bouquets at all but if anyone wanted to pick a single bloom from their own garden to place on her coffin she'd be very happy. This we all did. Her daughters picked a lovely, small posy of flowers that morning and tied them with ribbon. It looked lovely and that little personal touch moved everyone enormously. Donations in lieu were to the local Hospice. I ordered a rosebush (A faithful friend) for her husband to plant in their garden, as I'd also rather give flowers to the living.

poppy_f1

at my dads funeral we specified no flowers and only had 1 arrangement from me and my mum, we asked for donations to charity as well, mainly we seen people spending loads of money on flowers as a waste

suki1001

I also think it's not just about the charity etc, some of the wreaths etc are expensive, very personal and have usually had some thought into the flowers, add a couple of supermarket bouquets and it can make the whole thing look cheap. We colour co-ordinated a couple of wreaths for my grandmothers funeral. The colours were symbolic to her past and asked for donations, but someone still brought these foil wrapped flowers and stuck them on the coffin. I know it's meant well, but I thought everyone who wasn't direct family donated to charity. Felt it was a bit like choosing wedding flowers and someone coming along and just adding a pack from asda.

I can understand when people bring flowers through things like the 2 police women who died at the scene, but when it's a funeral you try really hard to get the details right, so that it fits the person you're saying good bye to.

Torry_Quine

suki1001 wrote: »

I also think it's not just about the charity etc, some of the wreaths etc are expensive, very personal and have usually had some thought into the flowers, add a couple of supermarket bouquets and it can make the whole thing look cheap. We colour co-ordinated a couple of wreaths for my grandmothers funeral. The colours were symbolic to her past and asked for donations, but someone still brought these foil wrapped flowers and stuck them on the coffin. I know it's meant well, but I thought everyone who wasn't direct family donated to charity. Felt it was a bit like choosing wedding flowers and someone coming along and just adding a pack from asda.

I can understand when people bring flowers through things like the 2 police women who died at the scene, but when it's a funeral you try really hard to get the details right, so that it fits the person you're saying good bye to.

I know she was your grandmother but to decry flowers as being from a supermarket and not co-ordinating seems a shame to me.


I just don't get the laying of flowers in a public place for someone you don't know. It looks lovely but to me its a huge waste of money

geri1965_2

Errata wrote: »

Like everyone else, family flowers only and donations to a particular cause from everyone else if they'd like to, or a private donation to a cause they hold dear (hopefully not the local cats home!).

What is wrong with asking people to donate to the local cat's home, if that is the cause the person holds dear?

Savvy_Sue

xoxo wrote: »

For my Nan we asked for family flowers only as she was being cremated and the expensive flower arrangements would have just ended up being left on a grass bank at the crematorium then disposed of by crem staff.

When Dad was cremated, the FD asked if we'd like to take the 3 flower arrangements away with us. We left Mum's wreath as I wasn't sure what she'd do with it, but took the bouquet from us and the planted basket from the grandchildren. They lasted very well!

motherofstudents

My mum used to say she wanted her flowers while she was alive so my brother and I used to buy her the odd bunch of flowers and she loved them. We had close family flowers and asked for donations. The FD asked what we wanted to do with the flowers and offered to take them to a local care home so they weren't wasted.

The cats' home is as good as any other charity. I think it's nice to connect it to the person's own feelings or to a charity connected to what illnesses they suffered from.

jackieb

Here, the wreaths are arranged on top of the grave. I thought it would be a bit weird taking wreaths home?

Torry_Quine

jackieb wrote: »

Here, the wreaths are arranged on top of the grave. I thought it would be a bit weird taking wreaths home?

I agree. I don't really like wreaths so had a spray recently which as I said went to the home