Why 'family flowers only'?

xoxo_2

We had family flowers only at my Grandads funeral because he had stated he didn't want them before hand. We were going to go completely flowerless but decided a few days before that the family would buy a joint flower arrangement for the coffin. Everyone else was asked to donate what they would have spent on flowers to the hospice that cared for him in his final weeks, if they felt comfortable with it.

For my Nan we asked for family flowers only as she was being cremated and the expensive flower arrangements would have just ended up being left on a grass bank at the crematorium then disposed of by crem staff. Had she been buried we would have been more comfortable with people buying flowers. People were asked to donate to a charity of their choice instead on this occasion.

Hezzawithkids

Ditto above posters. It's because although the family may welcome some flowers they dont want to be overwhelmed by them, especially as they dont get used afterwards. For all the funerals I've been to lately this has been the arrangement and I have been quite happy to comply.

tea_lover

A rare 'total agreement' thread!

anmarj

we had family flowers only at my fil funeral in the summer, my mother in law was of the opinioin was that what would happen to the flowers afterwards as she did not want them really, but we had a collection for the ward that treated my father in law instead, which people gave very generously to.

Mojisola

We had a large coffin spray for my mother's funeral with a request for donations to charity. The spray was given to the church afterwards and the flower rota ladies used the flowers for the following Sunday.

bestpud

As already said, if they are cremated the flowers are just left at the crematorium afterwards and it's not like the person is 'there' to visit.

It's a different decision for a burial in my opinion.

Mostly it's become a way of raising money for something the deceased believed in.

My mum always says she doesn't want flowers when she is dead - if we want to buy her flowers then she'd rather it is now when she can appreciate them! I'm sure she's not alone in thinking that.

Errata

Like everyone else, family flowers only and donations to a particular cause from everyone else if they'd like to, or a private donation to a cause they hold dear (hopefully not the local cats home!).
Our family flowers have always been in the region of a total of £20's worth and WE donate to a cause as well.
Flowers are left outside the church / crem, and if it's winter and a bit frosty are as dead as a doornail the next day. Not nice to remember the deceased with an expensive bunch of dead flowers.

StaffieTerrier

Mojisola wrote: »

We had a large coffin spray for my mother's funeral with a request for donations to charity. The spray was given to the church afterwards and the flower rota ladies used the flowers for the following Sunday.

We did this for my Dad's funeral. The spray went to the chapel of rest at the crematorium. We were told that if we didn't donate the flowers the crematorium would put them in the skip the following day- such a waste.

Torry_Quine

Have just today posted a cheque for the collection at my relative's funeral. There were two lots of flowers a spray from us and a wreath from the care home. The funeral director asked what we wanted to happen to our flowers and we decided to put them to the care home which completed the circle.

jackyann

I do agree with all of this, but have to add: when I worked in central London in 1971 or thereabouts, I saw a funeral procession come round Piccadilly - it was one of the old "flower girls" and all of the cars were heaped with beautiful flowers - I found it very moving. We all stopped, in the old-fashioned way and stood watching the procession circle Eros.
This is in no way an excuse to be wasting flowers normally - just glad I saw it!