Is it time to give up

wilfulsprite

It's not boring OP - obviously you need to talk. Keeping it all in your head is very self-destructive and miserable. Praying might give some people strength, but it doesn't really change anything materially. If you need to talk, there are people out there who want to listen, and if you need debt counselling, there are people who can help with that also.
If you can only change things a bit at a time, it's better than not changing them at all. Good luck.

Evilm

You are obviously depressed whether it is situation based or not. Hence the reason people are saying "go to your doctor". The fact it is job hunting related is not the issue - the issue is where its put you mentally and the fact you have to get yourself out of that right now.

ScaredCrow

I'm in a similar position but I'm 21 years old. I've been looking for a job since I was 19 and am so sick of all these rejections, I feel like I've wasted two years of my life just looking for employment and failing. However I guess I'm lucky in the sense that I'm still pretty young and live with my parents, but then that just makes me feel even more pathetic, as most of my friends have gone to and completed University and now have degrees and multiple jobs and I can't even get a part time Christmas temp job, I'm sick of people asking me what I do, it's so disheartening. I'm assuming you're much older than I am, but I urge you to keep trying. I must admit I myself also tend to give up pretty easily, but I'm working on it because it's all you can do, just keep on trying. I think what you lack is confidence and it's completely understandable at this point, countless rejections can do that. My main problem is lack of confidence too, it's something that takes a lot of time and effort to repair. I hope you manage to find someone to talk to eventually do find a job, all the best.

paddyrg

Things change. Things always change. You can always rely on things changing, and usually not the way you predict. This won't be forever.

Now...how to get back into work? If you're applying for everything, perhaps there's something about your CV that needs attention. Perhaps you have lost your confidence. What you need is to get your mojo back - get yourself feeling back on top of things, make new contacts, get feelers out, etc. How to do this? Can you volunteer a day or two a week at a charity shop/hospice/etc? They always need help, it will get you back into a rhythm, back into the world. It will also get you meeting people again, and doing something useful with your time. It will also (and crucially) show the next employer that you've not just sat on your hands and got down, but have stepped up and made something of the time. They love to see that.

Sambucus_Nigra

CuffCake wrote: »

Evening all,

I have been looking for work for over a year now and i am now tired of lookimg. I'm tired of the rejectio, tired of filling out endless application forms, tired of the debts. Tired of everything. There's no hope. Everytime it looks as though I might get a break, i have the rug pulled from under me.

I'm really considering ending it all. I used to worry about what my mother would do but she's old and probably won't live much longer any way so what's the harm? Sorry but I've really had it with this crap.

That's just a year out of your whole life.

You will get a break one day - and look back and think 'thank goodness i didn't'.

Takeaway_Addict

ScaredCrow wrote: »

I'm in a similar position but I'm 21 years old. I've been looking for a job since I was 19 and am so sick of all these rejections, I feel like I've wasted two years of my life just looking for employment and failing. However I guess I'm lucky in the sense that I'm still pretty young and live with my parents, but then that just makes me feel even more pathetic, as most of my friends have gone to and completed University and now have degrees and multiple jobs and I can't even get a part time Christmas temp job, I'm sick of people asking me what I do, it's so disheartening. I'm assuming you're much older than I am, but I urge you to keep trying. I must admit I myself also tend to give up pretty easily, but I'm working on it because it's all you can do, just keep on trying. I think what you lack is confidence and it's completely understandable at this point, countless rejections can do that. My main problem is lack of confidence too, it's something that takes a lot of time and effort to repair. I hope you manage to find someone to talk to eventually do find a job, all the best.

Why don't you goto Uni now?

Mischa8

marybelle01 wrote: »

So what are you looking for? Nobody is going to tell you to give up, or that it would be better if you slit your wrists. The advice you have had is excellent - see your GP and see them NOW if that is how you feel. As my mother used to say: "You are a long time dead". In other words, while you are alive then there are always possibilities and you should grab every moment you can. I can tell you right now exactly what the harm would be - your mother would be devastated and so would everyone else who is in your family or who knows you. You think nobody would miss you or care? You are wrong. While you are alive there is ALWAYS hope.

Get some help. There is no shame in feeling this bad. But there is in doing nothing about it and depriving your familly and friends of your company. Trust me, I know. A close friend killed herself last year after many attempts. She thought this would be better for her and better for her friends. She's dead, so I don't think she feeling better. And I can tell you for a fact that it it is not better for her friends. Despite the fact that we couldn't have stopped her or done anything more for her, we all live with the wondering about whether we could have done something better, or different, that would have stopped her. We will live with that for the rest of our lives. We will never get over her death. That's the legacy she left us with. We loved her and cared for her. Still do. But what she did was cruel and selfish.

Do you really want to be responsible for all that? I don't think you do. See your doctor. No they can't give you a job. But they can help how you feel. And a year out of work is miserable and hard. But people get back to work. After a lot longer than that. Use this board for what it is meant for - tell people why you are out of work, why you can't get a job, what you want to do and what is stopping you. You can get loads of useful advice on those things, maybe enough to be back in a few months saying you got a job! There is always a chance and always hope, no mater how bad it feels.

Marybelle - I agree with the vast majority of what you say, but telling someone who is feeling suicidal what someone else did who committed suicide was cruel and selfish is unwise. When a suicidal person wants to end it all they don't care how/why/what they do and they're not being cruel or selfish they just want to be away from their life and situation. Indeed others may say it takes courage and a degree of unselfishness to actually end it all.

and yes, a close friend of mine committed suicide a few years ago (but she was mentally ill) and I don't consider her actions to have been cruel or selfish as she was let down badly by the health authorities regarding doses of medication etc. if anything she was confused.

also I myself a few years ago felt suicidal and although I *may* have been feeling cruel and selfish at the time, to be honest I felt alone, unsupported and really didn't want to live my life and thought others wouldn't care if I was around. But I certainly didn't feel cruel or selfish.

Two4Tuesday

Mischa8 wrote: »

but telling someone who is feeling suicidal what someone else did who committed suicide was cruel and selfish is unwise

+1 for this. Trying to make a suicidal person feel guilty is counter-productive.

I have been in this exact situation, and spent months in a psychiatric hospital when all I wanted to do was die. There was no treatment as such and it was a horrible place to be, wanting to end it all but being restrained from doing so.

I will not forgive my GP for putting me in that place, and I do not consider that I was helped at all by being there.

To the OP, I feel for you and hope that one day you do feel better. If there is still anything that you enjoy doing, do it now. That is all.

heretolearn_2

Again, not helpful for the OP.

On the other side of the coin I have a relative who was hospitalised and greatly helped, received excellent treatment, and came out much healthier mentally.

Op - I feel for you so much. You say no one but your mum cares - isn't that enough. Don't do this to her. Also, I don't believe there is no one else who would be effected - this is your depression talking to you. If a bunch of strangers on an internet forum care about you, please take heart from that too.

Please go and see your GP. How you feel is a result of depression, not a result of being unemployed. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem - sounds glib, but it's true. With help you can feel so much better.

And your depression can also be making it harder to find work as it will show in any interviews you get. When we've interviewed sometimes we've had good candidates that have seemed depressed/negative/downbeat, and fairly or not, we don't want to take on someone in that state due to the effect on colleagues. These people maybe weren't actually depressed, maybe they were just Victor Meldrew types, but we don't want them bringing down the atmosphere in the office if that's just their personality. Having said that, we have employed someone who was clinically depressed and talked to us about it, we agreed some reasonable adjustments with them, and it all worked out well for both parties, so a diagnosis won't necessarily stop you finding a job.

inmypocketnottheirs

Cuff cake, I feel your pain. I went for almost three years before finding a job, spiralling into depression, and then something just clicked and I found a great job.

My advice to you is don't give up. The time to keep going is when everyone else would give up.

I'm not a religious person, I don't believe in God, so I am not going to tell you pray. All I will say is concentrate hard on what you really want, and make getting a job a job in itself.

Please don't give up on yourself.