Depression, Money Saving and it all becoming a bit too much!

LameWolf

Three cheers for helpful hubbies!:T:T:T I'd certainly be in deep doo-doo without mine!:o

Starlight it's a good idea to let your hubby take over doing the shopping again for the time being - why not try doing the shopping together when you're a little more settled in yourself, as a halfway step towards doing it yourself? Mr LW always has to come with me these days - for one thing I need him to push my wheelchair, but also I'm too scared of people to cope alone. We make it a fun occasion if we can (Mr LW has a very quirky sense of humour, which helps). Put the wobbles of this week firmly behind you now, and next week will be better.

lol I hope I'm making sense - I'm trying to type this and listen to Mr LW reading out loud from the newspaper at the same time!:eek::rotfl:

Rainy-Days

You can take this from me - a Psychologist - that the biggest problem this country faces in the next 20 years is mental health. Whether that is with geriatric (alzheimers and senile dementia) or the varying spectrum of depression through to personality disorders there is a time bomb waiting to go off. We are unprepared for it. Even in the criminal justice system it is limited as to what we can offer.

The truth is there is little in way of support for those who have depression. The CPN's tend to focus more of their energies on those with Bi-Polar and schizophrenia as that is where their priorites are. It is only when you are classed as a extremel;y vulnerable (i.e suicidal)or a danger to the public that things start to change and help is there - but it is only just.

I have sat around meeting tables where there is only a finite amount of money in the NHS pot. You have oncology (cancer) saying they need more money and they should get a bigger portion, then a heart surgeon will argue for their share for their department. Everyone is pitching for that amount of money and squeezed in the middle of it all is mental health whose budget becomes ever smaller. Why does the budget become smaller - because the end result is that the public expects both thorasic and cancer care to be the best in this country but turns a proverbial blind eye to those who are suffering mentally.

Things are changing, but it is a slow process. Don't give up with your quest, just give your mind a break, find a set time in the day to think things through and deal with them, then try and leave your thoughts with them after that. Worry is the biggest cause and when your mind is whirring ten to the dozen you are not giving yourself a break, because both emotionally and physically you are putting your body through extremes. I could go on about how your body is being affected by the chemical imbalance as well, but I will not bore you with that.

The important thing is to get well, to break things down in bite sized chunks to deal with, set yourself small goals and attain them, then move on to the next. Even if you go out walking for say 15 minutes a day, just getting out of the house and the four walls helps you concentrate your mind. Then when you have done 15 minutes, move it up to 20 minutes and so on. It's easy to sit in the house and let everything come in on you.

Finding a way through and working towards small set peaks will help you to build your confidence and bring you back onto a more even keel. When you get a confidence boost it will help you to feel better about yourself and slowly climb out of the dark that has engulfed you.

Clench your fists and say to yourself "I am going to be alright" keep saying it, believe it.

kittendothroar

Firstly, Starlight - well done on admitting your depression - I fought mine along with anxiety to name a few for a very long time and was in complete denial that I had a 'mental health problem' until we made peace with each other earlier this year! I wouldn't wish it upon anyone and whilst I am mostly good to great, its a slippery slope back down but I have been doing a lot of reading and soul searching and am slowly putting all the pieces back together. On an MSE note the library has been great resource of reading material - 'feel the fear and do it anyway' was quite liberating and currently on 'depression: a way out of your prison' Your admission really is the first step to recovery so well done!

I do understand completely your stress over throwing things too - I threw out a carrot last week - was my only food waste and still aggravating me! Which seems entirely silly to write down but it does grate on me! One thing that is good is finding a home for random things - I had for ages a bag of bubblewrap, that I couldn't bear to part with 'just incase I needed it' (moved twice in 14 months) but found out a younger colleague *loves* it, and so gave it to her, and her utter joy convinced me I had done the right thing, for once!

Life has changed considerably for me over the past 18 months, I really am responsible just for myself nowadays and find that hard enough some days, so for you and others raising families I am in complete admiration, have a ((big group hug))

You could use your yoghurt pot to grow herbs in...

~take care xx

StarLight

Thank you Rainy Days for your wonderful insight. I totally understand the problem with the funding of NHS treatments for NHS. To be honest I am just happy to be back on the tablets. I really feel a different person. Like kittendothroar I think I have made peace with myself. I know I will struggle with the fact that I can't do what I used to take for granted, but I am now trying to learn to relax and not feel I have to be doing something all the time. I find this very hard.

Lamewolf you made perfect sense to me. Hubby is wonderful as he has his own issues to bear but he is a caring person and I really value him for that. In all the time we have been together (about 8 years now) I have probably been shopping with him a handful of times and each everytime it becomes very very stressful. He doesn't like a lot of people and I think having me there aswell to either have to support or me interfering is just too much for him! Also we have our little girl to look after and I try hard not to take her shopping, even though she is very good, as I think that it can cause issues i.e. her wanting to get something and me not wanting to buy it!! So I shall let hubby go shopping on his own and we'll both be happy.

kittendothroar - I am exactly the same as you with the bubblewrap. I can't bear throwing things away and have to find them a home. Went to the tip the other day and threw two chipped mugs into the non recycling, as I did so I heard a chap ask where to put old crockery and the man said 'in the rubble'. I was gutted thinking I had put something into land fill when it could have been recycled. I know it is silly but that is how I feel.

I try not to come on MSE too often as I was finding I was on here for hours. However I do come on to have a quick catch up from time to time. So thank you again everyone who has posted, again it is much appreciated. x

Shropshirelass

Starlight you are being very sensible here. It is so difficult for children to go shopping these days, they can learn shopping skills when they are old enough. I always sympathise with the stressed families trying to cope with serious shopping and children wanting attention.

Things may go up and down for you, but will get better now. I'm sure one day you will look back from a stronger, happier position and remember how you slowly took control again. xxx