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Depression, Money Saving and it all becoming a bit too much!
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Popperwell - Losing my dad was very difficult as we hadn't spoken for over 5 years and that was the second time we had fallen out. My mum died in 2003 after a very difficult time following a stroke. I think that probably I have never really come to terms with the difficulties that I have had since I was 11 (when my parents split up) and have just put on a front and pushed on through because that's what I thought I should do.
The difficulty at the moment is learning to live with the person who I am not the person who I think I should be. I was very driven when I was younger, managed to get a degree when everyone doubted me, became a retail manager doing rediculous hours and travelling and then slowly it just all unravelled, along with my first marriage.
I worry about money because although my husband works full time we don't have enough to cover every out going. I am looking to cut back where I can, but I am finding it tiring. I tried to do some work but found that I just can't face it. I find it stressful and I become unreliable because I just don't want to be there, but at home I feel guilty and tired all the time. Everywhere around me I see women coping with everyday life and sometimes I just can't. I worry constantly that I making the wrong decisions about everything. I just can't trust my own state of mind. Plus I just can't seem to concentrate.
I really appreciate that people have taken time to post. Thank you everybody.
I am on my 3rd day of tablets, but already have started feeling better in myself, so much so I managed to sort out the garage and get rid of a load of stuff to the charity shop and recycling centre. I have really had to focus on not feeling guilty about giving stuff away that I think has some financial value and that I should make some money back on it! I think it is a bit obsessive, so I have chosen a couple of items that I think will sell, but the rest has gone. With a promise to myself that I will only buy what I need or the family needs. This can be an issue in itself, as sometimes the need feels overwhelming (I have always been like that!!)
Anyway the rain has started so I am feeling good that I got my jobs done.
For those of you who are on anti-depressants, just like me, I realise that we need them and if they make us enjoy our lives more then there can be no harm in that. x#7 20p Savings Club 20130 -
I have been on anti d's for 2 years now. I recently went for a medication review and we have a new GP who is brilliant, she just asked am I happy - I replied yes and she said - well lets leave it as it is then.
I can't imagine going back to how I was before I started them, over the last year have had quite a bit of ill health and until recently was tired all the time, we think we have got to the bottom of that now and although I had low days as I wasn't able to get things done I still was no where near as bad as I was before the anti d's.
I have a long way to go to get my life straight but I love this board and it can be motivating but also excellent listening to people who are or have been in the same position as you are.
As you say Starlight if they make outrlives better and there are no side effects then it is all good.x0 -
Before I came on here I didnt believe there were other people who a) had no money or were in debt b) had emotional problems and/or c) did not have perfect lives.
I know there are lots of people on here that have depression and maybe for a lot of people thats related to their financial circumstances. Struggling to make ends meet is really wearing, especially when other things in your life arent going too well.
We all need to keep being honest and talking about it. There is nothing wrong with medication for any illness if you need it, whether thats mental or physical. Good luck to you. x0 -
Hi all
Another AD (bi-polar) person here. I can emulate the poster who said they have come to terms with the fact they will have to take a tablet for the rest of their lives. I am in that position too.
I had 11 months off sick before I returned to work, which I have done now for over two years and that is only possible because of the medication.
I had a wobble in May and dealt with it by going to our OH nurse and sorting out my problems with her. She signed me off last week, commenting that she had seen me turn a corner
Our lives are so pressured, I have two children, one income – which is ok but as prices keep rising, is becoming more of a challenge. I understand how all of us including the OP feel about how we are going to deal with the pressures ahead.
I sometimes feel some of the older generation do not understand, my ex-mother in law certainly could not get to grips with depression and anxiety and is part of the ‘get a grip and get on with it brigade’.Yet my father, whom grew up in the war (he does like to tell us that on a regular basis), was very understanding and has been hugely supportive about the illness over the last couple of years.
YORKSHIRE LASS is right – we need to keep honest and talk about things and there is no shame in taking medication (as others have said as well). So lets all get in it together and smile as we get them down on a daily basis.
EM xx
PS my Mum has to take a number of tablets on a night which she does with a large glass of wine… :eek:You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation.
PlatoMake £2018 in 2018 no. 37 - total = £1626.25/£2018 :j
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OP, I feel your pain. I have suffered with bad depression (bipolar) since I was 13, have been on meds for 16 years on and off. I know exactly how you feel. There have been times where I just feel so overwhelmed by all the daily duties, that I just use to feel useless, and a failure and used to think my kids could be with a mother that is better and doesn't have this illness holding them back. This year though something snapped in me and I just thought I am not going to let this illness get the better of me, I have come out of my comfort zone, and that wasn't easy, to make changes. I now make sure I got out for a walk everyday, even if it just for a walk around the fields or the school run, this has helped lift my mood so much, such a big step because a year ago I struggled to leave the house, also I am eating better and I have lots 7lbs so far( still loads more to go but I am working on that
) If I can do it so can you!!!! I feel so much more positive and I am really enjoying the simple things in life. I still have my demons in me but I am not going to let them beat me, make small changes in your life and the bigger picture will start to change
Raven. :grinheart:grinheart:grinheart0 -
So glad you are already starting to feel better, just wanted to let you know I have been thinking of you xx'Forget injuries, never forget kindnesses' - Confucious0
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Hi yet another anti d taker here i can understand how you have been feeling, i have come to terms that i will prob be on them for the rest of my life and now tell myself so what ! i beat myself up at the beginning and came off them thinking i was cured...no i was not , i have had a great life and really couldnt justify why i was on them, i had the usual everyday ups and downs but no "reason" like loss of a loved one or money worries or things like that so i went back to doctor and he said i wasnt ready to come off them and actually told me off for self diagnosing myself as "well" so back on them and feel far better. I so happy i found this site as i can see my life is not so different from everyone elses we all need a bit of kindness sometimes and reassuring and i read on here the way the people all help eachother its a great place to ask for help as its always answered in the most honest and sincere way by people who have been there and got the t shirt....i thank you all.xxxC.R.A.P.R.O.L.L.Z #7 member N.I splinter-group co-ordinater
I dont suffer from insanity....I enjoy every minute of it!!.:)
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Hi everyone. I was on antidepressants for 6 months about 12 years ago, which isn't as much as some people, but it felt like the end of the world to me at the time. I felt really guilty about going to the doctor, and it took me a few days to start taking the meds, but once I did, I never looked back. Someone told me that it's just that my brain takes a different route to the same place as other people's, and it's an illness just the same as something you can see. The meds just helped my brain go the proper route. I was advised to cut right back on sugar, as it steals the 'feel good' bits out of your diet, eat lots of fruit & veg and go for a walk as often as I could. I also had people who were telling me to 'pull myself together', and it wasn't very helpful, but I now realise that they were the ones who didn't understand my illness. The best thing I did was telling someone how I felt - my wonderful doctor at the time. It is something I know I will have to watch out for, because my brain is susceptable, but there is light at the end of the tunnel. Talking to people on here will help, and no-one will judge you. Give yourself a bit time to let the meds do their work, and then sit down with someone - maybe Citizen's Advice - and look at your finances when you can think rationally. Take care and look after yourself. Sending lots of hugs.2025 Fashion on the ration
150g sock yarn = 3 coupons
Lined trousers = 6 coupons ...total 9/66 used
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Trousers = 6 coupons ... total 23/66
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Sandals = 5 coupons ... total 38/66
Nightie = 6 coupons
Sandals = 5 coupons ... total 49/660 -
I have just caught up with all the posts that have appeared since I last posted and thank you all for your considered responses. I can clearly see that I am truly not alone.
I have felt much better than I did at the beginning of last week, however I have dipped now as I have probably been doing too much. Managed to do the weeks shopping and forget to take my card to pay for it :mad:. I have done a little bit of admin work for a friend and managed to make a couple of crucial mistakes. So not a great end to the week! But I have to say ... no tears ... which is a great step forward.
So considering my brain is not being helpful at the moment. Hubby and I have decided that I shouldn't make any serious decisions at the moment and that I should try and avoid stressful situations. So no more shopping for me. Hubby used to do it and was very focused on sticking to the budget so I'm handing it back to him until I am a bit stronger.
Have listed a load of DVDs on Amazon and have managed to sell a few which has boosted the cashflow a little bit. Also popped some stuff on ebay too. (Still getting a bit stressed with doing this to, but just doing a little bit at a time!)
Big Hugs to my new virtual friends, it it so nice to know that there are people out there who understand x#7 20p Savings Club 20130 -
How lovely to hear you are starting to see some benefits already starlight, it is a long road to perfect health, but as I tell myself, I would not be who I am today without all of my imperfections, embrace who you are and let people help you if they want to. Your hubby sounds wonderful and knows how much to give you to do without you struggling, so if he is happy with the shopping, then let him do it, you can concentrate on getting well and join him when you feel up to it.
Been here for a long time and don't often post
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