Helping a child that cannot run & jump properly?

mrs_sparrow

In regards to the core strength, when I said she had none, I did not mean she could not stand up as she can so it's probably poor core strength - she can not do headstands for example as she cannot hold herself upright - the things Nicki described she could have been describing my daughter. We do think she has Aspergers (her brother has it but because he has other issues, his has been diagnosed) but swims through school and no issues there, I thought dyspraxia because of her clumsiness, I wasn;t going to go down the docs and say I thought it was this, just that her legs do not 'seem' to work as they should.

Maybe I used the wrong word when I said core strength - posture maybe? However, you do need some sort of tummy muscles (which I thought was core strength) to do a lot of things and you do them without realising, she could not even balance on a skateboard a few months back, however, we are not doing a class on Saturdays on 'ripstick' which is a 2 wheeled skateboard and requires balance, so we are working on it. She picked it up really quickly and hopefully all of these things will help in the long term.

A lot of this is also about Self Esteem - she seems to have very little and when we praise her she will just turn and say 'no I am not, I am rubbish at everything' despite me sitting there praising the things she has just meticulously made. I cannot get to the bottom of why she says this but no amount of praising her for anything is of any benefit. She can make these meticulous and intricate little things with Fimo but then turn around and throw them at me and say they are rubbish while I am saying how wonderful they are. We have lots of things up and around the house that she has mad but then in the next breath she is saying how rubbish she is and that she is no good at anything.

However, no child can be good at 'everything' and I am not going to raise her expectations to be the best at everything as life is not like that and I'll be doing her more harm than good. I tell her that while some people are brilliant at one thing, they will not be good at other things and what matters is being the best she can be. However, that is not good enough and she still puts herself down and has a stroppy fit over it. I am not sure what one thing she wants to be good at but is not, I wonder now if it because of the issue with not being able to run/cycle/dress properly which is at the root of these issues.

mrs_sparrow

daska wrote: »

I would seriously consider making a complaint to the person who runs the club, especially if it's more than one child then the knock on effect of her comments/behaviour on the club's reputation isn't going to be welcomed.

Hmmm, the woman who runs it, said it, unfortunately. I've spent the last 24 hours scrutinising my fridge and food contents around the house and you know what, the food I feed my kids is not the issue. The issue is more her legs do not work as they should so she is slower and not so agile than other kids as she cannot keep up with them.

On reflection I think that the comments came because she is losing a lot of her squad because of their ages and she needs them replacing to keep the club at standard. My DD is never going be at 'competition standard' to fill their shoes as she is doing this for fun, not for serious competition, and this is where the problem lies and this is why she said it. Tough. Not my problem and she is not going to take it out on my daughter. My DD is going to that club whether she likes it or not as she wants to go and, as I am paying her, she will teach her to her ability - and if she cannot ever do a double, triple flip and somersault then it's tough really and it is not my problem. The problem is that she cannot run fast to get up speed to project herself in the air - and she cannot run because she has a problem with her legs. It's a whole vicious circle.

She'll never be saying anything like this again though. Trust me on that!! The first time I was caught unawares, next time (if there is one) I am going to be on my guard!!

quintwins

My 6 year old twins have poor muscle tone and don't run, walk heavy on there feet and can't ride bikes, we get physio and ocupational therapy for them, it's helped a huge amount so i wouldn't for a second it's not worth going to your gp. they also struggled with getting dressed but the difference the last year has made is shocking. Sometimes kids need more help than mummy/daddy/school can give them.

tyllwyd

My oldest daughter is quite awkward physically when it comes to sport, and she has never been good at running or hitting a ball, and she was late learning to ride a bike. Added to that, she would probably admit that she is a bit lazy, and won't do any of these things unless pushed. She's left-handed, and I've always wondered if she is a little bit less co-ordinated than 'normal'.

But with all of these things, she has always improved if she's been pushed to spend a bit longer training or gone to classes. From a self-help side of things, my first reaction would be to encourage your daughter to spend some time running and building up her fitness - maybe if you did it too, and you both jogged around the block every day or two. If that's what's holding her back in a sport she's enjoying, it's the simplest option so it has to be worth a try. And perhaps a trampoline - that would be good for fitness and coordination.

Nicki

mrs_sparrow wrote: »

In regards to the core strength, when I said she had none, I did not mean she could not stand up as she can

Not to worry, everyone except one poster knew what you meant when you said "no core strength".

Like me, who has no sense of balance and no will power when it comes to cream cakes . I obviously can walk in a straight line and I don't eat cream cakes 24 hours a day, so being pedantic I have SOME balance and SOME will power but compared to a hypothetical norm I am "challenged" in those areas, as it sounds like your child may be at the moment in terms of her core strength.

mrs_sparrow

LOL, that made me chuckle - are you sure we are not separated at birth.

I've made an appointment now and I am going to sit down with my DD this evening and have a really good chat with her and explain some things regarding the comments about her being 'too heavy' and tell her I have spoken to people and there is no issue with her and that it is not this ladies business.

Also that we will go and check there is no problem with her legs and that I am going to speak to the club on Sunday and tell them that they need to help her, not discourage her.

My friend told me that when she was younger she had knocked knees and I've googled it and it looks like this is what my daughter has. I'll be honest, I thought it was just a jokey term for clumsy kids - but as it is causing her an issue with something she wants to do, we do have to address it. On the NHS website it says this 'In severe cases of knock knee, poor posture may start to affect other parts of the body, such as the hip joints, back or feet'. So I think the appointment is the way forward as her posture and movement is not great.

My daughters legs are like this:



Now I have more guilt for not having dealt with it before - but as I say, it's never been an issue before and she has not done anything to make it become an issue. Maybe she would be more active if she did not have this problem.

I assume that if she gets referred I can go back on Sunday and tell this woman that she needs to be more considerate as she is being investigated for xxxxx and she has to be considerate of that condition?

mrs_sparrow

Just reading up on it and feel a bit crap now.

Sorry to moan. Feel like a terrible parent for not dealing with this until now.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

WHY WHY WHY take her back there?


The woman isn't going to be ashamed and contrite - she's going to be looking at your daughter as the fat kid whose mother is convinced she has a real medical problem. Every time she looks at her, she'll see a useless, lazy, greedy brat and not the real child. Even with shoe inserts, if that's the correct treatment.



And your daughter will realise this if you keep taking her there.



Sometimes you have to do things the children don't like. In this case, it's finding somewhere else for her.


And making an official complaint about the spiteful !!!!!.

Fire_Fox

mrs_sparrow wrote: »

In regards to the core strength, when I said she had none, I did not mean she could not stand up as she can so it's probably poor core strength - she can not do headstands for example as she cannot hold herself upright - the things Nicki described she could have been describing my daughter. We do think she has Aspergers (her brother has it but because he has other issues, his has been diagnosed) but swims through school and no issues there, I thought dyspraxia because of her clumsiness, I wasn;t going to go down the docs and say I thought it was this, just that her legs do not 'seem' to work as they should.

Maybe I used the wrong word when I said core strength - posture maybe? However, you do need some sort of tummy muscles (which I thought was core strength) to do a lot of things and you do them without realising, she could not even balance on a skateboard a few months back, however, we are not doing a class on Saturdays on 'ripstick' which is a 2 wheeled skateboard and requires balance, so we are working on it. She picked it up really quickly and hopefully all of these things will help in the long term.

The core is the deep abdominal muscles, plus those at the sides of the waist and the muscles around the lumbar and thoracic spine (mid to lower back). Some include the hip and shoulder stabiliser muscles, I do. A protruding stomach can often be a weak transverse abdominis (like a wide belt) but it can also be caused or contributed to by tight hip flexors (joins the leg to the body) and overactive erector spinae (either side of the spine), or can be a structural issue with the bones not being aligned properly. As you can see none of these are stomach only muscles.

There is a relationship between balance and core strength, but the issue is more often core stability or the ability/ inability to control and co-ordinate the muscles. This can be simply lack of practice, it can be weakness, it can be related to issue in the ear or brain. Holding oneself up in a headstand can be balance, it can be lack of strength in the back or glute (buttock) muscles or even the shoulders. Different issues apply if she cannot get herself up into position to if she cannot maintain the position (strength-endurance).

mrs_sparrow wrote: »

My friend told me that when she was younger she had knocked knees and I've googled it and it looks like this is what my daughter has. I'll be honest, I thought it was just a jokey term for clumsy kids - but as it is causing her an issue with something she wants to do, we do have to address it. On the NHS website it says this 'In severe cases of knock knee, poor posture may start to affect other parts of the body, such as the hip joints, back or feet'. So I think the appointment is the way forward as her posture and movement is not great.

My daughters legs are like this:

That image shows imbalances, including weakness in the gluteus medius muscle (outer buttock/ hip) and possibly underactive gluteus maximum (main buttock). Tight or overactive adductors (inner thighs), possible imbalances in the quads and hamstrings (back and front of thigh). There is probably something going on in the smaller muscles and ligaments around the foot and ankle. All super common in females - especially adults - perhaps your daughter has a more extreme version or as you say another health issue that needs diagnosing.

She definitely should not be running on concrete or tarmac without corrective/ supportive footwear or insoles that support the arch which she has been fitted for, that puts a heck of a strain on the knee joint especially. Please consider a free gait analysis in a running shop.

joolsybools

mrs_sparrow wrote: »

Just reading up on it and feel a bit crap now.

Sorry to moan. Feel like a terrible parent for not dealing with this until now.

You are dealing with it so please don't be so hard on yourself x