Dumping my bridemaids....anyone done this and regretted it?

Katy84

I think you have to think carefully about whether it'd be the end of the world if any/all of these girls take offence and fall out with you. That's the worst case scenario and from what you've said I wouldn't imagine you'd miss them too much though!
£120 per dress seems pretty generous to me so I really don't think you should cave in on that but there's not really an obvious solution to what they'll wear if you keep them unfortunately..

I know how you're feeling though - I'm getting married next August and haven't appointed any bridesmaids yet because the 2 people I want to ask have shown more or less zero interest in the wedding and I'm not convinced they're ever going to at this rate!
xk

*miaomiao*

**hugs!**

I'm getting married in 3 weeks and have been through similar problems along the way. Last weekend I changed my mind about my dress even because I'd gotten one that was more what my family wanted than what I wanted! And, you know, just getting rid of that annoyance helped. Did the same about family issues, etc. All took the stress away and made the wedding planning enjoyable again.

I suggest taking stock of what has been purchased, paid for and what can be taken back to the shops or unbooked. Put your foot down and have the wedding you want - 11 weeks away is not too late at all. Use the excuse that you have totalled up everything and you are very sorry that you won't be able to go with your previous plans. Do what we are doing - just have your nice BM friend (of the 5) as your 'witness', and if you feel like you'd sort of like her to be a "BM without the title", just ask. It sounds like she will already be expecting you to change your mind anyways.

By the time the wedding comes along, if you've tried your hardest to let people down properly and gently who are causing you stress, they will have forgotten and be happy to celebrate with you. And from now on, do only what you and your partner want and don't tell anyone about it (or at least not many - that's when you start getting opinions when all you really should hear is "that's lovely").

Good luck!

p.s. Just last night I thought the same about firing my BM/witness, so don't feel bad. She's not been terrible, just never comes back to me at all which is really, incredibly annoying.

hippihaz

Hi, try not to stress!! its your day and what you, as a couple, want is the main thing
I got married a month ago now, only had 3 bridesmaids - my sister, 7yr old cousin and best friend and that was stressful enough. I had a colour scheme of lilac and ivory - I would be in ivory, bridesmaids in lilac. Cos my MoH was a size 16/18 I let her choose (to an extent), she found one she liked, twice my budget but insisted it was amazing and she wouldnt feel comfortable in any other dress. so bought them for the 2 older bridesmaids. then 3 weeks before the wedding she tells me she cant fit into the dress as shes gone up a dress size, that it cant be altered and that she took it back to the shop and as it was now on sale and none in her size left, she exchanged it for £30 vouchers!!! omg went bonkers with that. so then had to get 2 new dresses, had no money in budget, MoH refusing to wear any new styles. Was this close to 'letting her go'! however my mum then found 2 monsoon dresses, in blue and lilac in their outlet, very reasonable price and on the day they looked lovely and everything went smoothly.......saying that I dont think I could have coped if 4 bridesmaids were all causing issues! try and stay polite but make it firm you have a set budget and set colour, if they kick off, ditch them! good luck xxx

VikkiiKawaii

Honestly, I would be tempted to say you've recalculated the budget and can now only afford one bridesmaid and keep the one you wanted in the dress you wanted if it was me.
IMO the other bridesmaids are taking the p***. It's YOUR day not theirs, to a degree they should wear what YOU want and they definately shouldn't be changing the colour scheme over them or spending more than you had planned.

rosie-lee

Do you have the sort of relationship where you could ask them jokingly if they actually want to be bridesmaids.

To be perfectly honest with 2 young kids in tow, I would have been delighted to have been relegated back to 'guest'. Although to be honest, other than walking in with her and posing for a photos, being a bridesmaid meant nothing more than wearing a different dress, to the one I might have been comfortable wearing.

On a day I wanted to enjoy, celebrating such a special time for her, I was a little uncomfortable and would have preferred to fuss around my sister and get her ready instead of having to bother about myself as well, other then the usual for a posh do.

I didn't know any of her friends going to the hen do and had to bow out because I couldn't afford 250quid before meals, taxis & drinks! So was a useless choice of bridesmaid in the first place and wouldn't have been at all offended if she de-bridesmaided me!

Just another perspective.......