Convince me not to quit!

charlie3090

Brallaqueen
i am so sorry to learn that you are going through this,
i have been a victim of bullying at work which led to me having a breakdown and 2 months off work(after 25+ years with no sick).
No one has the right to shout at you and make you feel like this,have you considered putting a grievance in ?.
For me it was a help, even though most of my complaints were not upheld as there was no proof,there was enough to make the company i work for take notice and as your collegue is off with stress then this helps prove your case.
I am sure that you are not "crap" at your job or you would have already have thrown the towel in, no hr dept worth its salt will condone any type of bullying and screaming at you most certainly is.
Please consider taking this to hr,they may be able to transfer you to another dept.
C x
PS,hows Rupert?, i bet his well and truly at home now.

sniggings

why not set an hour a week aside for job hunting, an hour is not that hard, you could even break it up into 2 x 30 mins, this is enough time to search a few job sites or the next week to prepare a good CV but not enough time to tire you out or feel like a chore, if that goes well you can up the time afte a few weeks to 1.5 or 2 hours, it might not sound much but you can do a lot in that time and you will feel you are trying to better your situation, or another way is commit to applying for one job a week, once you apply for one job, you get the rest of the week off, again it might not sound much but it's more than you are doing now, and the best bit is, once you see that it's not as hard or tiring as you think you will want to do more but just commit to 1 hour or 1 job a week for now and the benefits will follow.

MinaMina

Im sorry you've been up all night. you need a good nights sleep after whats happens and a hot meal, this will get you thinking straight. I hope you can do this tonight.

yes you will get another job we all will get another job.

First thing you must do is do you want to go back to this job, I know you left in haste and they may think this too.

Cant you ring them or email them saying you left in haste, they might want to see you or try to talk to you I'm not sure, but it's worth a try.


I know its takes guts to call them, but it will put your mind at rest, even if they say no, then you have to move on to the next step.

Try and apply for JSA call them today and make a claim, its no good sitting and worry about what to do.

If you do make a claim then apply crazy for job anything that will cover you, even if you get knocked back, then try try every day.

You have to kick yourself into action now hun, do it now while you feel in this panic, as panic can have a postive outcome. Just apply for jobs, even if your head is filled with dread and worry.

If you leave it, then worry will set in and thats when you will start to lose it. The strengh goes.

Go drink heaps of cofffee listen to some music, feed the cat then go apply apply and call people too.

Thats what im doing today. Every day is a new day and we have no idea what it will bring. step by step you can do it.

paddyrg

I left being a planner to work in IT, left IT to train as a pilot (although decided not to make a career of it), then left IT again to work in entertainment (which I have stuck at). Money's poorer, but life is better - and frankly that suits me. If you're prepared to jump industry, you may find you can use many of the skills you already have, but in a new way.

Bigmoney2

Lots of places are now advertising for temporary christmas staff.
It may not be your ideal job, but could be something to tide you over for a bit, and if it doesn't suit its only for 6 weeks or so.

Royal Mail jobs are online, but shops such as argos seem to put a sign up in the store.

Also worth a call to the jobcentre re signing on as I think any sanction starts from when you apply, so dont wait till savings run out.

May also be worth a Drs visit for a sicknote to cover your notice period.

1940sGal

Brallaqueen wrote: »

Thanks everyone. I'm still in bits though, now just in bits because I don't have a job. It took me a long time to find this one even as much as I hate it.

I work in a HEI. We've gone through some pretty intense restructuring, which made everyone crazy (not just me!), and things only seem to be getting worse.

I've always been erratic but this takes the cake even for me. I've been up all night throwing up, crying and hugging my cat. I just don't know what to do for the best now. Will I ever get another job? What am I doing, relying on my mum's savings to get through the next 10 months? I don't have much of my own (see sig). If I don't get a job I'll lose my home, my cat will suffer and I'll be back to square one.

It's easy to say not to worry, far harder to actually put it in to practice. Everyone who either leaves a job or finds themselves unemployed feels exactly the same. It might take some time and you might have to make some cutbacks here and there but you will find a new job.

Good luck and I hope everything works out for you

Brallaqueen

Well, after a week of hoping they would agree to retract my notice (I started crying at work saying I had made an awful mistake and begged them to take me back) they have decided against it.

So onwards and upwards.

_

---

Wow, I sound unhinged in this thread, and it might not be far from the truth. I think I might be unhinged as pointed out above. I have booked an appointment with the doctor and with a counsellor so we will see where that leads me.

I've been puzzling out how long I've been unhappy and it has to ahve been at least 3 out of the 4 years. First it was a colleague who did f-all work and left it to me to do. I can't let things to undone so I was working all hours to keep up. The last straw was when after 2 years of me making complaints, he was told by the boss that he needed to complete two tasks before going on holiday. In the end he was allowed the time off without completing the tasks set and management gave the work for me to do. I broke down in the meeting and said I couldn't take any more - and was referred to counselling.

Interestingly, my counsellor at that point asked me why i didn't look for other work if I was so unhappy. At that point it felt like he was being unhelpful and unconcerned so I stopped counselling. Now I know he was right.

I'm in the deep brown stuff and I went about it the wrong way but more and more I feel like I have gotten out of an abusive relationship you know? Feeling ignored, not good enough, afraid that no-one else would want (employ) me ... but never having the guts to leave because as horrible as it was there were good times, and it was strangely comfortable feeling this way.

Of course, when I'm homeless, repossessed and Rupert the cat no longer loves me because I can't afford to feed him ... I will probably look back and think "welp, that was a stupid move"

Robisere

I have my own story to tell, but first I want to offer you some advice about getting another job.
What would you really like to do? What are your hobbies, likes, things that you really like to do? Think hard about that, then decide what will make you happy to turn up for work every day. Forget the wage/salary for a moment, just think about the work. If you think of something, look for a job in that field. It doesn't have tp pay a fortune as long as you have enough to get by. I am sure that the kind of person who can unburden herself here, is the kind who can make a life for herself. Your problem is not that you are useless, but you have been made to feel useless, by the sort of overbearing superiors whose own personality is probably based upon feelings of their own inadequacy. I know all about them ...

I have been a miner, a soldier/aircraft technician and last of all, a workshop foreman in a large garage. I loved mechanical/technical work all my life, until an accident caused me to be off sick. After 13 months of hell, I managed to get DLA and Incapacity. All the time I was going through that, my ex-boss ( who I thought of as a long-standing friend) tried to sack me, by trumping up false charges of negligent work, which I managed to totally disprove. I had left another job with a really awful boss, to run the workshop. In all, I spent over 20 years in jobs I hated, but with the work I loved. I attended a disability college and a Technical College to get different qualifications whilst in my fifties. I got a job in local goverment and thought I had turned the corner. Instead, I found my immediate superior to be a real witch. I became better at the work than she was, which led to her trying to get me sacked. There was a mistake made in the work whilst she was supposedly on holiday, but it turned out that she had altered the dates to make it look as if I had made this very expensive mistake. Problem was, I had been off sick with 'flu whilst this was happening. Next thing to happen in the job, was that she got her friend (from another culture) to make racist allegations against me. Her problem there, was that I had several friends at work (Sikh, Caribean, Chinese) who spoke up for me and she became a laughing stock. All of this was happening whilst my health and disability deteriorated, but it took 14 months to retire me on ill-health, 14 months of drawing full pay at the Council - tax payer's expense.

I am now retired, have been for some years, but I tell you all this to make you see that there is an end to the c*ap that they throw at you. I decided to use the computer skills I had developed, to start a new self-employed career as a printer of business stationery and brochures, prospectuses for independent schools, anything I could find. I became happy at work and there was no one to belittle me or find fault with my work. After a few years of making a little money and enjoying my work, having found something that gave me the job satisfaction I needed, I retired. Now I build and maintain computers, to fulfil my need to do something, before senility really hits!

Moral? - there is none. We are all different but we can all find something in the end. Just look for that one thing your life and your talents need. Good luck!

mjbmjb

teabelly wrote: »

If you worry that you're crap you probably aren't. Genuinely crap people are completely unaware of their weaknesses!

Good statement. I've worked with a few people who match your statement.

Angry_Bear

Speak to the benefits people, I read somewhere on here (I forget where) that you can often get sanctions lifted depending on circumstances. Given the circumstances you describe you might be eligible for JSA immediately, which would at least lift a little of the pressure.