When to meet the children!

cheepskate_2

heretolearn wrote: »

But I would expect teenagers to understand the concept of dating!

I always introduced my teenage son to my boyfriends after a few weeks.

Yikees:eek:.

emsywoo123

cheepskate wrote: »

Yikees:eek:.

Teenage 13 or teenage 19 though? I think it makes a difference.

Not sure though....

lostinrates

Understanding the concep t of dating is one thing. I think its important for kids to realise their patents have other things and people in their lives. Meeting them is something else.

It could depend on the kids, the arrangements made in this subject with an ex partner too.

I know my sister found meeting my mothers dates very hard but it inly surfaced as an issue in her late twenties and thirties.

CH27

heretolearn wrote: »

I can understand waiting if children are small and likely to get upset/confused if things go wrong.

But I would expect teenagers to understand the concept of dating!

I always introduced my teenage son to my boyfriends after a few weeks. To be honest he was quite happy to tell me his opinion of them, and even if he wasn't too keen he accepted me seeing them ok. Actually - I really should have listened to his opinion on the ones he wasn't too keen on, he was right!

You make it sound like there was a different one every few months :rotfl:

mustmakealist

I assume that your children live with you so they would probably be aware that you were going out and meeting someone. Under those circumstances it may be easier for them to meet your boyfriend and can easily be achieved when he comes to pick you up or drop you off. You still have a lot of time on your own with them.

He may be like a lot of fathers and only have limited access and time to spend with his children. Depending on their relationship he may feel it is more important to spend that time concentrating on them and whatever is going on in their lives rather then what is going on in his. You are his first relationship and he may be finding it difficult to talk to his children about it and he has limited time in which to do it.

He obviously has their interests at heart and you may need to be guided by him. Remember that it isn't just about you and your feelings.

p-pincher

Me and my now Dh waited nearly 2 years before i met his 2 kids, they were 4 and 6 when we met. He had been split up from his wife for a couple of years before met. It didn't seem right to meet them any earlier.

At the end of the day its his decision so you have to go along with it. Maybe there's a reason why, who knows but there his kids so to me there's no sense in pushing it.

thegirlintheattic

6 months is way to early, especially for teenagers who may not be so accepting.

vodkachick68

Thankyou for all your replies:D Looks like i will have to be a bit more patient lol. Seriously i shan't push the subject anymore with him and will wait until he decides its the right time. Everyone is different,one of my friends waited 14 months before she let her current partner meet her kids and another 2 months!! As my boyfriend says lets enjoy each others company,get used to one anothers ways etc and all the rest will fall into place:D

nearlyrich

I have a friend who has not met her ex's children after more than 10 years, they got together well after he split from his ex so she was not the reason for the split..

heretolearn_2

'You make it sound like there was a different one every few months'

lol, no, none at all for about 4 years then only 3 real ones who he was introduced to, to varying degrees- one was boyfriend for 2 years, one for about 5 months, and then one who became OH!

Other than that I saw a couple of chaps a few times but after a few dates I'd think 'nope' and not see them again (or vice versa), so of course he wasn't introduced to them. Only if I thought they'd hopefully be a serious thing....

Seems I'm the odd one out here - I guess every family/child/relationship is different. Don't think it caused son any issues...

6 months has got to be quite serious? I don't think you can do long term casual dating if there are children involved.