Dont know what to do.

kentguy07

through out my life i have been treated like dirt by other people i used to get the hell beat out of me in school and this continued up until i was 17 then i locked myself away i wouldn't go out i then started to self harm but with some help from my family i got therapy and got meds and i started to feel better.

I am 23 now and 6 months ago i was beaten again and in fear i punched the person back hard and they called the police said that i hit them first and their girlfriend backed their story up by lying to the police to i went to jail then i went to court but the case got thrown out on.

I spent 1 night in a cell which was cold had no hot water then i was kicked out of the police station on bail at 1am with nowhere to go the police banned me from going within 9 miles of my home town i had to call my god mother who is elderly at 1am in the morning and she kindly let me sleep on the sofa where i cried myself to sleep all i could think about that night was suicide.

ever since then i have not left my new house i cant face it i lost my jsa claim/benefits because i cant face leaving my house and i just don't know what to do.

i feel worthless and i just want to fade away. I cant face being around people anymore. my life is going no where and i feel worthless. I have put on a lot of weight i have trouble sleeping and i keep having flash backs of when i was beaten and the events that happened after that.

iceicebaby

Hello

Sorry you feel so awful at the moment. I dont really have any experience of what you have gone through but you really do need to see your GP for help with how you are feeling. Make an appointment first thing and let us know how you go

viveka

Kentguy

I'm no doctor but from what you say it seems clear that you're ill.

It's easy to say but try not to beat yourself up for not being very well.

You obviously need help to improve your self-confidence and self-esteem, but first things first - see your GP like iceicebaby said.

kentguy07

I am going to see gp Friday just do now know what to do about job centre
I was supposed to go there tomorrow but i cant face going.

j-baby-scotland

Try & just go... even if just to register your attendance then explain you are not up to it & leave.

You really need to get the benefits sorted, will make your life more bearable.
Strength to you... & best wishes... x

JuStSoMeOneUdOnTKnOw

I'm so sorry you had such an awful time.. I would agree with the suggestions that you see your gp.. also with regard to the jobcentre maybe you could phone and explain your situation and they could arrange a home visit or another appointment. They've been accomodating for me in that way when I've needed it.

Also.. Friday is a bank holiday.. perhaps you should check that your gp will be open that day

Take care and all the best.. lots of hugs

cautiousmarthar

It might be worth calling your local Citizens Advice about benefits as from my experience with Dr/NHS hasn't been great at all. I'm not saying that to put you off, as i'm sure you'll not have the same experience as i've had; it's more a word of caution so you don't feel all is lost if you don't get the help you expected and don't feel strong enough to say so.

As a last resort i called PALS, who actually listened sympathetically, gave me information on local support groups (been asking Dr for 2months, gave me an on-line Mood Gym!), where i could get best benefit advice, what rights and processes should be for Mental Health with NHS. They were Fantastic, i only wished i'd spoken to them sooner.

Once you have been to see your Dr, I think you can complete on-line benefit applications via DWP site (at least you'll know the ball is rolling).

Good Luck :-)

gravitytolls

kentguy07 wrote: »

I am going to see gp Friday just do now know what to do about job centre
I was supposed to go there tomorrow but i cant face going.

Sounds to me like you should be receiving incapacity benefit at teh mo, as you are clearly not well enough to be looking for work.

Phone CAB, or, if you can manage it, call in. I can't praise them highly enough - they are marvellously helpful, kind and understanding. They will deal with form filling on your behalf, and advise you of your entitlements, and what you shoudl be claiming/receviing.

In the meantime, I wonder if a call to victim support would be a good start, as you have been a victim in the past, and you are still a victim now. But, you odn't need to be. Those that hurt you in the past are still hurting you, by the depression they've caused. You can fight back by refusing to be a victim any more; by facing your demons, getting it out of your system, with the support of those who understand, and can help you, because they only have your interests at heart.

kentguy07

Thank you for all your replies & kind advice.
I think i will Phone CAB and get some advice. I never thought about victim support iv heard of them once when we got a letter through the door when had a break in but i never gave it another thought until you said about it now.

I meant to say that i am going to see my gp Friday after next but its just for a health check before i can register.

I did see my gp at my last doctors before i moved but they referred me from one place to another which was kind of a dead cause.

I am determined to find a way out of this depression. I not sure if this gp will be much help who i am going to see on Friday after next but i know they offer counseling so maybe its a start i don't know.

caketaker

I am so sorry to hear of your story.i wish i could do more to help.
i agree with the other posts on here about sorting your money out.that will be a slight worry gone.
do you have any close friends or family who could pop in to see you ?
whenever i have been very down i have made myself go out to a friends for a cuppa, just long enough to stop me worrying for a while.it does help to take your mind off your worries for a short while.

as to your comment saying you are worthless,that is so not true.the people over the years to have made you feel this way are the true worthless ones.

take care.x.

kentguy07

I am so sorry to hear of your story.i wish i could do more to help.

You all have helped by giving me advice when i did not know what to do.
I have got to sort my benefits out i am going to try and call the job centre to sort it out and see what they say

i also gotta get information from the citizens advice thing and get support for the way i feel.

I do have friends who visit me so often and my family does too But none of them know how i feel i just cant tell them i dont think they would understand and i would not want to worry my god mother or make my friends feel aquward around me.

I like it when my friend comes over and i sometimes show him how to use the internet.