trying for baby but feel trapped in job i hate

loulou123

Hello bit of a rant here, but also peoples opinions wanted...

Me and hubby are currently trying for our 1st baby - have been trying for approx 18months now.

I hate my job but feel stuck in it, as its sods law as soon as I get another one I'll fall pregnant and don't think that's fair on a new employer and also not sure what effect that'd have on maternity leave etc.

The main reason I hate my job is this...I have 2 separate contracts for 2 different roles within the same place, one is set hours Tuesday to Friday midday to 6pm, the other is 18 hours a week on a rota basis. In effect from job 1 I get sat, sun, Mon off but then I end up working 2 or all 3 of the days off from that role in my other role. This month I worked 16 days with only 1 day off for example.

I'm knackered! And seem to always be at work, all this for minimum wage too.

I can't afford to give up either role, so its a new job or stay where I am. I know at moment I'm lucky to have a job at all, but feel my health is beginning to suffer now. As I've been doing this for 9 months - before that I only had one contract.

We don't want to stop trying for baby either.

Should I just lump it for now or try and get a new job? Even though I could possibly get pregnant fairly soon after starting.

Ps sorry to those on the trying for baby post, where I have already moaned about this - just wanted opinions from a wider audience.

Metranil_Vavin

HI lou - personally I would look for another job. It sounds like the one you have is making you exhausted and depressed, and that isn't going to help your baby making efforts.

Unfortunately with ttc there are no hard and fast rules, and you never know how long it is going to take/if there will be any complications along the way, so personally I wouldn't put the rest of my life on hold in the meantime.

x

podperson

I would start looking for something else now. When you do get pregnant then it will harder to find a new employer willing to take you on and after the baby then you'll be busy/tired etc and probably won't feel like the hassles of job searching for a while - so if it's making you unhappy then try and get out now. Could you maybe look for another part-time job so you could drop the shift-based contract?

CL

If you get another job they won't pay you SMP if you become pregnant in the first month, but will after that. As you have to be working there 26 weeks when you are 25 weeks pregnant.


Who can get SMP?


To qualify for SMP you must have been:

• employed by the same employer continuously for at least 26 weeks into the 15th week before the week your baby is due (the qualifying week)

But even if you don't qualify for SMP and have paid National Insurance, you will get Maternity Allowance (MA).


How much MA do you get?

Maternity Allowance pays a standard weekly rate of £135.45 or 90 per cent of your average gross weekly earnings (before tax), whichever is the smaller.
MA is paid for a maximum period of 39 weeks.

If you are worried about how a new employer may view you becoming pregnant, I would forget about that. At the end of the day your family life is the most important thing.

*BigBird*

I agree with the others and would start looking for another job now.

I'd only been with my current employer for 3 months when I found out I was pregnant with DS; I'd literally only just finished my probationary period I was dreading telling my boss (especially as I'd been taken on to initially do a particular project, which I now wouldn't be able to finish). But he really couldn't have been happier for me when I told him.

I obviously can't guarantee all bosses will be like that, but if I wanted to start a family, I wouldn't put it on hold because of what my new boss might think.

cottonhead

I would look for another job because if its hard to manage now what will it be like after you have a baby ( assuming you are planning to go back to work ? ) . Having a baby takes so much energy and you dont want your unahppiness to spoil being a mum. The are small for such a short time.

I just started my job and was already pregnant so didnt qualify for company maternity pay - I had just 6 months off and only satutory pay but afterwards I returned to a job I dont mind, that pays well and was able to negotiate reduced hours. It worked out great in the long run.

If however you are planning to give up work after having a baby I would probably stick it out. At least you will get better pay and wont have the stress of interviews and applying for jobs.

hazyjo

If you do get another job, maybe just put the 'baby-making' on hold for say 3 months. If you did fall pregnant straight away after that, you'd probably have been in the job 6 months by the time you'd have to tell them.

I definitely wouldn't want to stay put. As above, the stress won't be helping!

Jx

good_vibes

Hi read my last post on ttc thread. I felt like you. I changed where I live and down graded my job. I felt trapped, even if my OH would have move to be with me. I new I would have had to still change my job for a better me. Was stressed (caused by the pressure put on me), lack of everything and still wanted this and that. Was working 60 hrs a weeks and paperwork at home only being paid for 37.5 hrs a weeks. I saw the staff working with families working their hours and going home when they should to their children. They were only taking home about £50 less than me a month (they worked weekends and night, I was not allowed to in my role). I wanted that!!!.
Was crying alone before I went into work, racing heart. Still felt stressed if I had a day offv(phone calls etc) and couldn't relax even when I was seeing OH. Not eating at right time, letting mates down and not even having time to go shopping.

Had been to the Dr's about stress and even time off. Didn't take it as it was their cause not mine. Took the leap of faith and changed.
Feel so much better now, still have the odd panics before work now in my new role. That stems from last remins of how my last job made me feel.
I have more time, baking, making hampers, going to places and fetes and dates night with OH and enjoying them.
It's not worth feeling like that, you got to think of yourself as a whole, or stay in your job and be firm about your hours and work load. Last bit is easier said than down when you are already batter down and stress to stand up for yourself (been there).
Taken me a while, but last month or so am back to where I was before the stress got to me.
Try not to worry about the Mat leave, you will work something out when the times comes

loulou123

Thank you all for your kind replies.

Was wondering if I was just over reacting as so tired, but as you've all told me to look for another job/change things if I can I'm guessing not!

I would be planning to return to work after having a baby, but my initial intentions were to only go back doing my original hours and not rota contract too - so part time.

It's the not having any full days off that's getting to me, I have explained this to my manager time and time again and it could so easily be sorted out - I could work all day either on the Sat or Mon, then do a early shift on one of the mornings I'm in anyway in afternoon, this'd mean I still get my contracted hours but still get either Sat and sun or sun and Mon off each week! Id be happy with this, but it doesn't happen.

New rota should be out today for Oct, so I'll see what's happened this month later on!

clearing_out_my_pockets

I kind of feel the same way that you do.

I have been with the same employer for the last 12 years - in fact they're the only employer I've ever had. For the last four years I have had no career progression despite several 'promises'. Each time it doesn't materialise and my employers use the economy as an excuse (I work in construction).

Yesterday I was talking to someone in another company that we work quite closely with (as in I see them 3-4 times a week) and they asked if I fancied working there instead of where I am. Now I don't know what to do.

On the one hand, staying where I am means I have 12 years of service behind me and it would cost quite a bit to 'get rid of' me. On the other hand, do I really want to slog my gut out for no real chance of progression? It's not that I'm unhappy where I am or that I hate my job - I don't. I enjoy it. But I'm disillusioned with the company that I work for.

Our situation is compounded by the fact that I am the higher earner, so if the new job didn't last, we'd be in a bit of a hole!

But back to the OP (Sorry!) - if you hate your job that much, I really think you should find something else.

sweaty_betty

I think this is a tricky one, but the bottom line is that if you're stressed and exhausted with work this might be hindering you getting pregnant.

I was pretty fed up with my job when I got pregnant, when I went back things were worse than ever. I thought about hanging on in there as I'd been there for years and wanted to have another baby before moving on as I didn't want to upset a new employer by going off on maternity leave. But in the end it got so bad that I just had to go. I went and I have no regrets. Personally I've put off trying to get pregnant for 6-12 months, so that I can "prove myself" in my new role, but only you can make that decision.

I would have a look around at what else is out there so you can see what your options are - it could be that making a decision makes you feel much better.

Good luck - both with jobs and TTC:)