Any Foster carers out there?

wattdallas

eskimo26 wrote: »

We are in the south east commuter belt but actually foster over the border with a zone 4/5 outer london borough.

Even fostering outside our council brings up problems because it requires fluid local council to other council communication and they are bad enough on there own never mind when you are relying on them organising something that falls between their jurisdictions. :rotfl:

Princessdon we are trying to get respite for my autistic cousin but because they are full the respite centre can only offer 1 overnight respite a week, is it worth asking the social worker to look for a respite foster carer? Presumably it is very rare and they are few and far between so it is only for very extreme cases?

Eskimo ,please do ask your social worker for short breaks service,they are respite foster carers and can sometimes be better for families as you will get to know them more and may receive a few more nights.There are many respite carers around whom specialise in disabled children actually most of them ie shot break service so parents get a break.Hope that helps

LadyMorticia

I was a child (well, teenager) in care. I was put into foster care when I was 14 but had been known to Social Services since I was a baby (I was also in care when I was a baby for 4 months). I was put into care at 14 due to neglect, emotional abuse and physical abuse.

I would love to say that my experience of the care system was great, but it wasn't but I was lucky that I only had 3 sets of foster carers in the 4 years that I was in care, as I know that some children go through loads of foster carers and get pushed from pillar to post.

I had a lot of complex needs and mental health problems that weren't really dealt with properly and with two sets of the foster carers, I was the first teenager they had. It's hard for teenagers to be placed with foster carers. Alot of foster carers want younger children as they are seen as easier to deal with.

Fostering does take up alot of time and you do need alot of stamina, especially if you have a child placed with you who has complex needs. It can also be time-consuming with the various meetings and it can be hard to plan things if the child has supervised contact with their family etc.

It's also important to think about your own children (not that I think that you're not, by the way!) as fostering could have a negative effect on them. How would they feel about having strange children in their home with potential problems? Or having to share your time with more children? Etc. Only you know your children though.

I think that fostering can be rewarding. If I was well enough, I would want to foster as I've been through the system and know what would have helped me when I was in care. I was abused in my second foster placement and with my third and last placement (which was also my long-term foster placement), I wasn't listened to, I was ridiculed and I wasn't included in anything. Everything I did was wrong. All my little achievements were berated etc so it's definitely important to be encouraging in all of the things that the children are proud of. I know that sounds really obvious...

Despite all that, I think that if it's something you want to do and your children are happy with it and you think your health can manage, then go for it. Just one thing though. I know you say that you want to foster under 10s, but you still might get asked to take a teenager. I think that's how I ended up being the first teenager in two of my placements, because they were the only ones that would take me as most other foster carers want young children.

daj2390

jackie_w wrote: »

hello,

I'm sorry if this isn't the right board, but I'm thinking of fostering, and im trying to get as much information as possible.
I'm just wondering if there are any foster carers out there who can give me their experiences or even anyone who knows anyone who fosters or anyone who themselves had been fostered.

I have thought of not much else except this for a while now.

Would love to hear from you.

many thanks.

Hi we have been foster carers for our local authority for over 21 years and can honestly say it is one of the most rewarding things we have or will ever do. We have covered all sorts of foster care from emergency overnight placements to an ongoing long term placement which has been for 12 years and will continue until the young person no longer needs us. We also foster small babies and this can be hard work but it is all worthwhile. As someone else pointed out if you have young children of your own they must be considered as we consulted ours about every placement we were asked to take on. Hope you decide to go ahead as there is a real shortage of foster carers out there and as i said it is such a rewarding experience i cannot imagine not doing it now.

Little_Vics

can anyone recommend the best online forums for foster carers? We're going through the process and I think I need a little bit of support.

Wellyboots6

I have asked a bit about foster caring on another thread, but am really seriously considering it now.

What is the likely-hood I would be considered as a foster carer if I am a single female who works? I would work part-time and my hours would be very flexible. I just couldn't afford to give up work to do it, and a lot of the websites I have looked at for local agencies say they expect you to do it full-time

princessdon

wattdallas wrote: »

All foster carers MUST do training whether family member,or respite .And ALL Must do the CWDC workbook.Finding it very strange that only YOU was not required to.Even social workers do traing with us foster carers.Can I ask why you don't ?

No I had basic mandatory training, but was offered "enhanced training" eg CAMHS, ASD, Transtional Training, Eating Disorders etc. The SW would regularly email out dates and ask if anyone was interested.

As someone taking a family member (it is a different authority though) I personally find I am not given the same service. This could be differing LA's or maybe budget cuts, I can't say. I just know that I am being treat differently as a family member.

Dunroamin

katy721 wrote: »

I have asked a bit about foster caring on another thread, but am really seriously considering it now.

What is the likely-hood I would be considered as a foster carer if I am a single female who works? I would work part-time and my hours would be very flexible. I just couldn't afford to give up work to do it, and a lot of the websites I have looked at for local agencies say they expect you to do it full-time

I think it will depend on the age of the child and the hours you work. Alternatively, if you foster privately you might find that you earn enough to be able to do it full time.

rubytuesday

I was fostered a few times before the age of three or four and then from four until just before my seventh birthday.

I was then fostered again just before my tenth birthday until I left aged seventeen.

I have recently made contact with the original long term foster mother who is now eighty eight and her older son and daughter.
It turns out that they applied for parental control for me but shortly after that I was taken away from them and sent to a children's home - makes absolutely no sense to me.

Meeting my foster mother again has been a wonderful experience.

Sadly it didn't work out for me with the second foster family in the end although my full brother was eventually adopted by them.

I think may be part of the problem was that I already had a strong sense of self and my foster mother seemed to want a perfect little girl and a replica of herself.

They were rather controlling and intrusive however I think the experience still benefited me greatly.

I have in the last couple of years traced a whole load of half brothers and sisters from two other previous families of my Dad and all ended up in the care system either fostered or in children's homes.

It turned out that one family were on the at risk register so I would presume my family was too.

Anyway that's my story but not sure it will help you.

I myself was approved to offer respite foster care to children with disabilities but ended up getting a full time job shortly after so didn't go ahead with it as I didn't feel able to cope doing both.

Wellyboots6

I spoke to someone from the council today about fostering, and they weren't sure if the fact I have been on anti-depressants this year will stop me from being able to apply.

I am no longer on them, but last I spoke to my GP they had said to start reducing and so it is not on my medical records yet that I am off them.

Any thoughts?

Dunroamin

katy721 wrote: »

I spoke to someone from the council today about fostering, and they weren't sure if the fact I have been on anti-depressants this year will stop me from being able to apply.

I am no longer on them, but last I spoke to my GP they had said to start reducing and so it is not on my medical records yet that I am off them.

Any thoughts?

How long have you been off them for and how are you feeling?