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An odd one - unsure what to do
Comments
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heartbreak_star wrote: »His brother asked "Why do you do this?" and he claims he doesn't really know.
I was going to ask if this guy knows no better due to the way he was raised. However the fact that his brother questions his way of life suggests they were raised properly and that he should be more mature.
He has been enabled to carry on behaving so irresponsibly by kind hearted people caring and trying to help him out. Most people would appreciate this and take the opportunity to stand on their own two feet. He chooses to stay in a rut and take more and more advantage.
The only way to help him now is to back right off and make him sort himself out. He is never going to become self reliant otherwise.The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own, no apologies or excuses. No one to lean on, rely on or blame. The gift is yours - it is an amazing journey - and you alone are responsible for the quality of it. This is the day your life really begins.0 -
heartbreak_star wrote: »His brother asked "Why do you do this?" and he claims he doesn't really know.
'Because he can' is the answer to this one!If you haven't got it - please don't flaunt it. TIA.0 -
Thanks everyone. I think I was looking for some reassurance that I was doing the right thing by keeping him at arm's length.
He's currently crashed on another mate's sofa, and apparently has made an appointment to talk to a doctor. Hopefully he will sort himself out.
HBS x"I believe in ordinary acts of bravery, in the courage that drives one person to stand up for another."
"It's easy to know what you're against, quite another to know what you're for."
#Bremainer0 -
heartbreak_star wrote: »Hopefully he will sort himself out.
HBS x
Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but if he's been like this until the age of 28, and even the birth of his child can't change him, I don't think he will.0 -
I don't hold out much hope either, but I'm an eternal optimist.
HBS x"I believe in ordinary acts of bravery, in the courage that drives one person to stand up for another."
"It's easy to know what you're against, quite another to know what you're for."
#Bremainer0 -
heartbreak_star wrote: »I don't hold out much hope either, but I'm an eternal optimist.
HBS x
DH is one of a large family and has a brother like this. There's not one of his siblings who hasn't had their fingers burned by trying to help him at one time or another. Everyone has a story to tell about how he let them down/owes them money or both. When MIL was alive she always bailed him out but now he's on his own. He gets invited to a very few family events and when he does he gets civility and that's all. I am angry that he seems to have a lot of help (he's barely 60, not ill but he has a sheltered council flat!!) at our (i.e. taxpayer) expense but I have to live with that! That's the advice I'd give you. By all means give him phone numbers and advice if you want but make sure he can't get any money from you!!0
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