Fake friends

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Saturnalia wrote: »

I went to the doctor's yesterday, but I don't think he really understood what I was trying to tell him. (Surprise!) He thought I was having another episode of depression, well I am depressed but because of everything else I deal with day-to-day, I don't think the depression is the cause of what's wrong.

He's referred me to a counsellor anyway. Maybe I'll be able to explain things better to him/her and they'll be able to point me in the next direction. But I've been warned the waiting list is over 3 months long. :eek:

I've also got another script for antidepressants, not sure if I want to take them but I suppose they do knock the edge off a bit.

Well done on going.


As regarding the antidepressants, you agree you are depressed, he feels you are depressed, he has prescribed antidepressants.

Whatever the underlying cause, surely following his medical advice and taking them has to be better than not - for all you know, they could be just what you need and in a month or so, you could feel so much better, you'll be kicking yourself for not following his advice earlier.


Seriously, follow the doctor's advice - you're not happy as things are, and when you remember the victories you have had recently; new home, friends, taking chances and not accepting poor treatment; the satisfaction of taking charge of your life could increase so much with the support of your prescribed medical treatment.


You CAN do it. But you have to trust in yourself to step outside your normal, safer behaviours, as they aren't working for you right now. You want more. Use all the help you can get to support you going and taking the more that you rightly deserve.

lostinrates

How long had ypu known this person?

Could be be trusting or expecting too much from people too soon, not giving yourself time to evaluate them?

People are flawed, but more complex than most plots and storylines, the comparison of the two is a rather simplistic.

Saturnalia

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

Getting shot of a liar is going to be a shock for anyone. It's not a particular criticism of you or anything different about you. You got wise and got shot - but he's hurt you because that's what liars do to the people they lie to.

That's true but it's taken you pointing it out for me to be able to see it as clearly as that! His behaviour is his fault. I know I can beat myself up and feel silly for thinking he wanted to stick around me - but he could have told the truth and didn't.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

Well done on going.

As regarding the antidepressants, you agree you are depressed, he feels you are depressed, he has prescribed antidepressants.

Whatever the underlying cause, surely following his medical advice and taking them has to be better than not - for all you know, they could be just what you need and in a month or so, you could feel so much better, you'll be kicking yourself for not following his advice earlier.

Seriously, follow the doctor's advice - you're not happy as things are, and when you remember the victories you have had recently; new home, friends, taking chances and not accepting poor treatment; the satisfaction of taking charge of your life could increase so much with the support of your prescribed medical treatment.

You CAN do it. But you have to trust in yourself to step outside your normal, safer behaviours, as they aren't working for you right now. You want more. Use all the help you can get to support you going and taking the more that you rightly deserve.

After I read your post, I walked to the pharmacy and got the pills. It's a type I've used before and they've never given me any side-effects, so there's nothing to be lost by taking them.

No, I'm really unhappy the way things are and maybe feeling a little less gloomy will help me change things. Certainly it's going to be a long, tough journey to get the answers I'm seeking, but for the first time in my life, I really do want the truth.

lostinrates wrote: »

How long had ypu known this person?

Could be be trusting or expecting too much from people too soon, not giving yourself time to evaluate them?

People are flawed, but more complex than most plots and storylines, the comparison of the two is a rather simplistic.

Not that long, we met in Feb or March IIRC. It was one of those instant click things (well, I felt so, at least). Maybe it was too soon, but he seemed to be trustworthy. Mind you, I can never tell.

lostinrates

Judging by recent posts you have had a fair bit of upheaval and uncertainty recently. However, i think my initial question might be spot on. Six months or so of knowing someone is not so long. Its easy to get attached to new friends when in stressful times, but that is not necessarily meaning you know them well enough. Or, that they are reasy for the pressure of a very close friendship, and going with the flow/lieing might be easier for them than any otherway of tackling an 'overinvestment' or premature investment in a friendship. Not right mind you, but easier.

I would perhaps try hard to expect less of friends until time has proven them as such, and forgive people flaws, but set boundaries to protect yourself. We all have flaws and make mistakes, but it might be he is an arms length aquaintance not a confiding secrets best friend.....both are valuable in their own way.

Take care, hope everything you are doing now helps. .

Blue_Elephant

Couldn't read and run.

I am, I guess the opposite to you. I don't trust people as a general rule. If they can't get close, they can't hurt me.

"Loving someone (friend, partner or family) is giving them the power to hurt you, and trusting them not to"

HeadAboveWater

Thanks for your post Blue Elephant. It's good to hear things from the opposite end of the scale. And I guess kinda refreshing to know things aren't easy on that side either!

(I'm stealing your quote at the end too...! )

System

"Loving someone is giving them the power to hurt you, and trusting them not to"

Now all i need to do is turn off the love and i'll be sorted

HeadAboveWater

Aw *hug*

Blue_Elephant

Judi wrote: »

Now all i need to do is turn off the love and i'll be sorted

That wasn't the intention of the quote Judi! Bitter and cynical and always suspicious isn't a fun way to live. Please believe me!

Headabovewater Just returning the favour, that Eleanor Roosevelt one is also one I need reminding of constantly!

System

Sorry for lowering the tone Blue Elephant. You just caught me on the wrong day thats all.