Stupid magic spider.

supergran2007

bosseyed wrote: »

Brrrr, magical spiders.

Sit ye down forum and let me tell you a tale, a tale of a young and cheerful youth, a youth who whilst not loving spiders, did not actively hate them and wish them all dead in a big fire. No, this youth would do his best to help any spider find its way to the great outdoors, usually via a glass with a bit of paper over the top. A happy youth.

Until one fateful day, a spider on the wall. A big spider, with many be-hairied legs. Stuck perhaps, crying for help, sending desperate spider wishes for someone (perhaps carrying a glass and a bit of paper) to assist him off the wall and out the window; And Lo! Doth appear the youth, glass in hand, paper in hand, earnest expression on his face. And verily the spider, when asked kindly to shuffle inside the glass, refused, refused even as the youth helpfully slid his paper under the spider in an attempt to encourage it towards the helpful glass. And screeeeeech in horror as the mighty spider, legs a flailing, scurries over the youths hand, down his quivering pale bare arm, into the sleeve of his t-shirt, down his naked torso and out, onto the floor to run like f**k under the bed and the youth did scream and cry and shake with the misery of it all and now he dares not approach spider kind unless his wife is nearby to do it instead.

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:!!!!!!!!!

Alas, bosseyed, I feel your pain!!!

I can't wait for conker season , as the 'conker method' seemed to keep the pesky blighters at bay last winter!!

Mindless_Clone

There's no actual proof conkers actually work though. It's all anecdotal. Mind you, it's not like conkers cost a lot so worth a try.

Beetlemama

PILES wrote: »

Erm you either need to keep taking the drugs, or you need to stop taking them.

yeah, one or the other :cool:


I love all your spider stories, spiders are very cool but they can't quite help themselves being just a leetle-bit creepy.

I did not, in fact, wake up decorated in spider, but having just gone through to get ready for bed, the much smaller "son-of-spider" was wandering up my quilt. Luckily, I opted for a non-magic glass tonight and he's safely out on the ledge figuring out what to do next. Abseil I spose.

Night night xxx

PILES

pulliptears wrote: »

Ahhh Piles. A well known pain in the arse.
Read into that what you may.

Ooh, hadn't thought of that one :T

Comyface

Irn-Bru-Kid wrote: »

One night, after he wound me up about something or another, I hatched a plan for revenge.

We were watching TV, I was on the floor, he was on the sofa and he fell asleep. My mother had one of those spider plants, so I picked it up and stealthily approached the sofa. I gently dangled the plant in my brothers face, bent down to his ear and shouted 'SPIDER' as loud as I could.

He opened his eyes, felt/saw the 'spider', screamed, leapt up from the sofa and ran head first into the glass conservatory door. He was out cold for about 5 minutes and broke his nose.

I honestly thought I had killed him.

Literally laughed out loud at this one! (And feel a bit bad about it, but it is funny!)

meritaten

The 'conker' method? whats that? you throw conkers at them until they either give up and leave or die? sounds like a good nights entertainment unless there is something good on the telly!

Blackpool_Saver

I'm not keen on spiders myself, but as I never kill anything I have to do the glass and card thing also......... I swear they look at me through the glass thinking don't put me outside.....

kermitfrog

meritaten wrote: »

The 'conker' method? whats that? you throw conkers at them until they either give up and leave or die?

No, you play conkers with them till they're exhausted.